My Life for Yours
by NMTD
Summary: In a rather desperate attempt to distract himself from his problems in life, Sanji throws himself into a risky encounter with a stranger, who turns out to be more than just a stranger after all. Rated M for mature content. Modern-ish AU. ZoSan.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

 **Hi all, I was really planning to post this on Zoro's birthday, but after watching the US election tonight, I feel like some people (like me) might need a bit of distractions. So happy early birthday to Zoro.**

 **For those of you who have read aevium's _The Little Deaths_ , you might find that there are quite a few similarities in the settings, and that's because this is a spin-off fic for it because I itched so badly for an update for it that I had the urge to write my own... until I realized I can't write real-world modern AU, so this turned into a completely different story. I asked aevium for permission to post this, and she graciously agreed! :)**

 **This is also my first fic... ever, so be nice. I'm a wimp.**

 **Oh, one more thing. Some Canadians, like me, are used to spelling words with an extra "u", like labour, colour, neighbour, or rigour. Don't worry about it too much. It's just the way we are.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 1**

Sanji is running away from his problem. More accurately, he is kicked and driven away from his problem, quite literally. Zeff is thoroughly convinced that this is not the little eggplant's problem because "brats like him should let adults do their job and stay out of the way", but as far as Sanji can see, this is even less his adoptive father's problem anyway.

A lady who claims to be his biological mother, the one who allegedly left Sanji in a dungeon cell to be starved to death when he was 6, has shown up at the staff entrance of the Baratie demanding to see her son after being nonexistent right up until 5 years ago. Ever since Sanji's 16th birthday, when someone showed up at the restaurant claiming to be a representative of Sanji's biological parents for the first time, they've brought nothing but trouble. None of the "We want Sanji back, and here's what we can offer" like civilized people, but attempt after attempt to kidnap Sanji, to nullify Sanji's adoption papers, to find (or fabricate) evidences of abuse, or to try to close down the restaurant altogether. He already owes his life and more to Zeff, and there is absolutely no reason for the old man to be burdened with more problems that come with Sanji's past, let alone risking his restaurant, his dream and life's work.

Plus, Sanji really doesn't think his mother abandoned him in cold blood, nor does he believe she has any part in their misery the past few years. A sweet lady like her (at least her voice is sweet) wouldn't do such things. He just knows. He just needs to talk to her to hear the real story, but Zeff hasn't even given him the chance to see her face before kicking his ass into the passenger seat of Ace's car along with whatever belongings of his that Patty and Carne could gather in the 10 minutes when Zeff was holding off the poor woman at the door.

"Hey asshole, go back! I need to talk to her!" Sanji yells, wrestling with the locked door on the passenger side and threatening to kick it off.

"Don't bother. I won't slow down even if you break my door. You don't wanna risk injuring your precious hands jumping off my car, right?" Ace throws the blond a sideways glance and cocks an eyebrow.

"Why the fuck would you even listen to the shitty old fart?! You came all the way up here to be with Marco for the weekend, right? You _just_ got here! You can't possibly be planning to drive all the way back home without even seeing him just because someone who has SHIT TO DO WITH YOU showed up at OUR door!"

"Well she spells trouble for you, and you're my ex fuck buddy, so that's enough reasons for me. Plus, I see Marco every weekend. He won't mind." Ace smirks.

"Ex-... Don't fucking call me that!" the blond snaps, feeling his face heat up in anger. Of course he's happy for Ace to have finally found what apparently is the love of his life, but the fact that he, "Sanji the heart breaker" of all people, was dumped by the damn freckles because of it still hurts more than a little after just two months, not that Ace even admits to ever being in a proper relationship with him to begin with. "And how would you know she's trouble? That's for ME to decide, AFTER I speak to her!"

"Come on idiot, what do you think she came here for? Dinner? After all the trouble she went through all these years to try to frame Zeff as a kidnapper?" the freckled man snorts.

"You don't know if it was her!" Sanji protests.

"Right. It can't be her. She's female." Ace mocks with an eye roll. Sanji glares at the older man, who gives him a shrug. Ace may think it's ridiculous to assume her innocence based on her gender, but Sanji _knows_ , in his bones, that women don't do evil things. The freckled bastard would never understand.

After a while of tense silence, Ace sighs, "Look, just forget it for now. Leave it to Zeff. There's nothing much you can do about it now that you're not there-..."

"I can kick your ass." Sanji raises an eyebrow, the one currently visible.

"And what? Drive back without a license? You don't even know where the gas pedal is." the freckled man chuckles. Sanji has a minor but shitty problem with his eyesight that makes it illegal for him to drive. Not that he ever sees any reason in it stopping him. In fact he's pretty sure it'd be safer for him to drive than Ace, who's actually narcoleptic and might fall asleep in the middle of driving if something excites him, but the shitty old fart has made sure that nobody would teach him how to drive over the years. "And Zeff would just kick you out again some other way without letting you see her. She might not even be there anymore. Just spend the night at our place, relax, and keep your mind off things you can't help. Luffy will be happy to see you."

Still fuming, Sanji lets out a sigh of frustration, throws himself back in his seat, and lights himself a cigarette. It has always been like this with the old geezer and the damn freckles ever since Sanji brought Ace back to the Baratie to meet the old man a few years ago. So what if Ace is a couple years older than him and was his first boyfriend (although the asshole freckles never called it that) and taught him a large chunk of what he now knows about life in general? That still doesn't give him the right to treat the blond like a kid who can't handle his own problems.

Worse yet, he's always teaming up with the old geezer at the task, and they never even got along! The old man hates Ace even more than he hated all Sanji's ladies. It's strange, as if the old fart knew Ace was going to break his heart one day as soon as they met. Zeff always threatens to kick him out of the restaurant... except when they're on the topic of how "the little eggplant is still wet behind the ears."

Sanji's cell phone rings from the pant pocket of his chef uniform, putting a stop to his internal rant. Shit, he hasn't even had a chance to change after the dinner rush before being kicked out. He curses loudly, fishes the phone out with his free hand, and answers without a glance at the screen.

"What?" Sanji yells into the phone. He's not usually this rude on the phone in case he's talking to a lady, but today he couldn't care less.

"You're fired and kicked out of my place as of today, shitty eggplant. Find yourself a new place place to stay and a new job. I'll personally kick your sorry ass if you show up anywhere near my restaurant within the month." Zeff's voice says flatly over the phone.

"You shitty old fart, have you lost your brains? How you gonna run the place without me for that long?" Sanji snaps into the phone. It's not the first time Zeff "fires" him and kicks him out. This has happened whenever lawyers or social services came by to be specific, so he's not quite worried about that. The part that worries him is that Zeff wants him out of the way for at least a month. Looks like this time there's even more trouble.

"You're a hundred years too young to be worrying about me, string bean! Just keep your pathetic ass out of trouble." The old man promptly cuts the line after that.

"So how long is he kicking you out this time?" Ace asks.

"A month. Shit. Marco's probably not OK with me crashing at your place for that long, right? Me being your ex and all..." Sanji feels a tinge of guilt. In the past, whenever Zeff kicked him out, he just crashed at Ace's and Luffy's place without a second thought. He and Ace had an on-and-off, no-strings-attached, and (according to Ace) purely physical relationship for years. Although there were times when Ace was romantically involved with others in between their breaks, none of them was serious enough to have a problem with him staying over. But this Marco guy's completely different. Sanji can tell just how serious the stupid freckles is about him, and he doesn't want to be the cause of any problems between them.

"We'll figure something out once we're there. But damn, sounds like it's a bigger mess than usual." Ace sighs and goes back to driving in silence.

The drive from North Blue, where the Baratie is, to Ace's apartment in East Blue is about 3 hours by the highway. They're adjacent cities with a number of little towns and villages in between. Sanji could take the train back in the morning if he really wanted to find out what's going on, but the last time he went against Zeff's order and returned he kicked the health inspector in the face for sneaking a bug into their soup, making problems worse for the old man. The time before that he started a foul language shouting match, which turned into a kicking match, with Zeff right in front of the social services lady, who was less than impressed. He vowed to keep his short fuse out of the way since then.

By the time they arrive at 1 in the morning, Luffy's already dead asleep, for which Sanji is more than a bit grateful. It's always nice having someone who appreciated his cooking as much as the boy, but cooking for a bottomless stomach after a full day of work isn't something he always looks forward to. Ace helps him move his bags into the apartment, not bothering to keep their noise down. Luffy's a heavy sleeper after all.

"Take my room. You look like you need it." Ace stands at the door to his room beside Sanji, giving him a light push on the back. "Sleep it off," he adds casually, making the blond glare at him. Usually at this point Sanji would "sleep it off" by being dragged into bed with the damn freckles and being fucked senseless for the night. That option's clearly off limit now. Not that Sanji's having trouble moving on from his past ambiguous relationship with Ace. It's just that times like these tend to remind him of the perks he used to have.

"I meant literally." Ace clarifies, looking amused.

"I know that, asshole! Goodnight." Sanji stomps into the room and closes the door behind him. He quickly looks through the bags Patty and Carne packed for him on the go and admits that they're getting quite practiced at the job as he finds everything he'll probably need for the next week or so. They even remembered to pack his set of knives and spice chest in those hectic 10 minutes, a reminder of just how much trouble he's been causing the old fart over the years. He takes a quick shower and tucks himself into Ace's bed. He closes his eyes, trying not to pay attention to the familiar scent of the blankets or to eavesdrop on the soft chatters coming from the living room. Ace must be calling Marco to explain the situation now. Maybe he'll be kicked out tomorrow, but he'll worry about it in the morning when he has more energy.

He supposes he'd just have to try this "sleep it off" thing the literal way for once.

* * *

Sanji has a few hours of sleep full of nightmares of being chased by social services workers and wakes up before sunrise the next morning, thanks to his internal clock and years of getting up early to prep for the breakfast rush. By the time he finishes his morning routines and comes out of room, the apartment's becoming more visible in the light of the paling sky outside the windows. He makes his way to the kitchen as quietly as possible, trying not to wake Ace who's still snoring loudly with a hand and a foot hanging off the back of the sofa. He opens the fridge and starts on breakfast. Ace's fridge might not always be stocked with everything he needs for a complete meal, but there's never a shortage of meat. If he couldn't find anything else, neither of the brothers would complain about an all-meat breakfast anyway. Today he's lucky enough to find potatoes for some hash brown.

The blond is sure that the sound of sizzling meat is the official alarm clock in this apartment. As soon as he gets to that part of the cooking, Luffy dangles himself from Sanji's shoulders telling him how much he missed his food, and him, of course, and Ace is once again on the phone, most likely trying to work out a more suitable sleeping arrangement for Sanji. He really doesn't have to go that far for the blond. If nothing else works out, Sanji's perfectly fine with finding a cheap hotel room somewhere for the month. He has enough saved up over the years from working at the Baratie after school hours and not having to pay rent. He's in charge of paying for any living expenses besides food and utilities, and he has to buy cigarettes and his own clothes because Zeff's taste in clothing is shit, but that's not much.

Sanji finishes his portion of the breakfast pretty quickly and lights himself a cigarette. He always finishes before the brothers when it comes to meals, and he'd always sit back with a cigarette and enjoy the view as the two devour the fruits of his labour like they haven't eaten in years. But today only Luffy's doing that. Ace is telling Sanji about a friend of Luffy's who might be able to lend him a place to sleep for the month when there comes a soft knock at the door. Sanji can tell it's Marco just from the way the stupid freckled face pulls into a grin at the sound. The blond feels a new wave of guilt wash through him. The guy must've been worried about Ace's ex staying over, and that's probably why he drives three hours to get here first thing in the morning. Suddenly, he's not sure if he should be sitting or standing, or what kind of expression he should have when he sees the guy. In fact he's sure he shouldn't be there at all. He contemplates what he should say to ease the guy's worry as quickly as he can as Ace makes his way to open the door. A friendly gesture would be a good start, he decides.

"Hey." Sanji awkwardly stands up from his seat and puts on a nervous smile, removing the cigarette from his mouth. Marco replies with a nod of acknowledgement. Sanji's met the guy before and knows that Marco has permanent bags under his eyes, but is he imagining it or are they especially dark today? Did he stay up all night worrying about Ace possibly cheating on him? It's not like Sanji has anything to hide, but any normal person would be at least worried in a situation like this, right? Especially given Ace's not-so-innocent history up until recently.

"Want some breakfast? We have plenty left." he offers and instantly regrets his words. Shit, he doesn't mean to sound like he owns the place! He's just a guest. Marco should be the host! What the fuck is he doing offering hospitality?!

"It's fine, yoi. I ate before I came." Marco answers in a bored voice, not making any motion to move from the doorway. The guy always has an expression similar to boredom, so it doesn't necessarily mean Marco's trying to be cold to him. However, that line of reasoning is not working for Sanji's panicked mind at the moment. He crushes his half burnt cigarette on an empty plate and stares down at the table.

"Sorry, I... I'll move out today. I can stay in a hotel or something until I find a place." he says quietly.

"What? No, you don't have to. Marco's here to pick me up for the weekend, so you can have my room until I come back. Here's my key. After that we can probably find you a place. Don't make a face like that. Staying over at Marco's was the original plan for me anyway." Ace says with a reassuring smile, handing Sanji the key to the apartment and turning to his boyfriend, "OK let's go. My bag is still in the car."

Well that's one way to solve the problem. Sanji still feels like shit for the intrusion, but at least Marco doesn't have to worry about his freckles being under the same roof as an ex without supervision. He mutters some more thanks and apologies as the couple wave him and Luffy goodbye and close the door. When he sits back down at the table, Luffy's already on his last few plates of sausages.

"Why do you have to move out?" the boy asks, spitting bits of meat on the table. Sanji tried over the years to kick the rule of not talking while eating into both him and his brother, in vain. Sanji pauses to light himself a new cigarette and ponders how he can best explain this to Luffy. It's probably a lost cause anyway. The boy's utterly clueless when it comes to human interactions.

"Because I'm not dating Ace anymore. He's with Marco." the blond starts, anticipating more stupid questions to follow.

"So?" and more comes.

"So I can't stay in the same apartment as Ace. Marco will be worried." Sanji tries. He'd have said jealous, but that's not an emotion Luffy understands very well.

"About what?" and another.

"About Ace cheating on him with me or things like that."

"You're gonna make Ace cheat?"

"Well no, of course not."

"Then just tell Marco that."

"He won't believe me with just that. It'll still be awkward."

"Why? Are you lying?"

"No, Luffy. I honestly won't even think about trying anything with Ace, but with these kind of things it's better to just remove myself." Sanji sighs. Maybe he should've stuck to avoiding this whole conversation from the start.

"But I want you to stay here."

"I know you do, but Marco probably doesn't, and if Marco doesn't, Ace won't either." With that, Luffy stops eating and puts on an expression of extreme concentration, as if trying to work out what Sanji just said in his head.

"So Marco's a bad guy?" the boy concludes, still looking confused.

"No no! Marco has the right to not want me here because he's Ace's boyfriend. I'll just move. It's no big deal."

"It's a big deal! I won't have your food! Ace probably wants your food too!" the boy's face is now serious with protest.

"I'll still come by to cook for you. I just can't stay here at night. I'll be pretty free while I'm here, so I can come by quite often." Sanji reassures him and watches as Luffy relaxes.

"Oh, then it's fine." Luffy shrugs and returns to the last plate to finish it off.

"Sanji, make me a lunch box! One with extra meat!" the boy demands as soon as Sanji starts collecting the empty plates to the sink. The blond's not exactly surprised. It's a regular occurrence.

"You _just_ finished breakfast! And don't you ever get constipated with the amount of meat you eat?" Sanji fakes some irritation. He doesn't mind being given cooking tasks at all today, considering how much of a useless bother he's been to both Zeff and Ace in the last 12 hours. Also Luffy's stomach can handle anything. It's silly of Sanji to worry about his digestive track. "You're going out too? What's the plan?" he asks with mild interest as he starts on the cooking task again.

"I'm gonna go fishing. You wanna come?" Luffy says with a bright smile. Sanji should've known better than to ask about plans. Considering Luffy, the plan's probably as elaborate as "get out, get in trouble" or "get out, bring back random stranger's problem". Normally the blond would tag along just for fun, but not today. He doesn't need more problems today.

"You do that then. I'll find something to keep myself occupied." the blond says as he reheats the pan.

"You know, you can count on us more." the boy says in his rare quiet and semi-serious tone as he watches Sanji pull out a whole chicken from the fridge.

"Thanks Luffy, but really, living somewhere else for a month is not a big deal. Plus Ace is already looking into a place for me so I don't have to stay at shitty hotels with shitty food and no kitchen." the blond says as he skillfully debones the chicken.

"I don't mean staying here. If you need help with anything else, just let us know, and we'll help." Luffy continues. Ah yes, Luffy never goes for anything but the root of the problem, that greedy ambitious monster of a brat. Sanji's hand stops on a bottle of spice in his chest as he considers the offer. It's not like he can just drag Luffy back to the Baratie to beat up whoever dares to harass them. If that were the case, he wouldn't even need Luffy's help. He's perfectly capable of kicking any thug's ass himself, not to mention Zeff and the other cooks can too. The strangest thing is that despite being harassed continuously for 5 years, they still haven't been able to find out who Sanji's biological parents actually are. They always seem to go to great lengths to make sure no one finds out their identities. Even the lawyers, the social workers, and the corrupt health inspectors don't seem to know who's paying them. In any case, he doesn't see how Luffy, or any of his crazy friends that Sanji knows of, can help him with that.

"I'll keep that in mind." the blond settles on the answer and works to finish the lunch box as quickly as he can. As helpless as he feels about his situation, he still deeply appreciates the gesture from the boy.

"Call me _before_ you get in trouble." Sanji says as he hands the extra large extra meaty lunch box to Luffy. The boy seems satisfied with the size of it, straps it to his back, and waves goodbye. Well, by the look of things, making food for Luffy is as far as he's going to get on the usefulness scale today, which still leaves him feeling like a completely useless waste of space.

OK, he's a little edgy today, way more edgy than any other time he was sent here by Zeff. He supposes he knows why. He's not as welcome here in his second home anymore. Ace will have a place for him to freeload by the time he comes back after the weekend, and if not, the blond can just move to a hotel. It's all good, but the fact that he can't do anything about his housing situation or his mess back at the Baratie at the moment is making him more irritated than what cigarettes can soothe. Maybe he should... as Ace said, "sleep it off"? He does know a few bars in the city that Ace brought him to over the years, but it feels wrong to just take his problems out on a lady. They always deserve better. Well he could go to a gay bar instead. He could find out where those are. Nothing google can't solve... No. He's never done _that_ with a stranger and isn't about to start. The only guy he's had sex with is Ace. He doesn't even know how to pick up a guy. Surely it's different from wooing a lady?

Speaking of wooing a lady, Sanji remembers a place that can always make him feel a little more useful whenever he comes to East Blue. He grabs his phone, looks up the name, and starts typing.

 _My beloved Nami, I miss you dearly. I'm in town again, so if you need me for anything please do not hesitate to let me know. As always, your wish is my command._ \- Sanji

Almost as soon as he hits the send button, the phone buzzes with a reply.

 _Sanji, nice timing! Usopp called in sick today, and I don't think Coby can handle Friday night dinner rush alone. Will you be able to fill in for him tonight? With pay of course._ \- Nami

 _Nami, my love, you are so generous! Of course I'll fill in for him. Does Usopp's shift start at 3?_ \- Sanji

 _6\. Closing shift. Thanks, Sanji~_ \- Nami

 _No problem at all! By the way, will I be able to see your angelic face there tonight?_ \- Sanji

And the phone stops buzzing. Sanji waits, looking at the screen, and after 15 minutes he decides that maybe Nami is busy at the moment. Even if she carelessly forgets to reply him later (Careless Nami is still so endearing!), he would find out at his shift all the same. No need to trouble her with more texts. He starts cooking a simple lunch for himself and a more elaborate meaty dinner to be left in the fridge for when Luffy gets home later that night, if he makes it back home. Usopp is part of the wait staff, so he won't be cooking tonight. Better get his fix now. With that in mind, he looks through the shelves for scraps he can use for dessert.

* * *

The dinner rush wasn't that bad for a Friday night, or maybe it's because East Blue is a much smaller, quieter town than what Sanji's used to. It's now 11pm, just an hour before closing time, and the restaurant is completely empty. Coby got off by 9 since by then the worst of the rush was already over, so Sanji is by himself in the silent dining hall, smoking and listening to the cooks as they start their clean up early. His beautiful angel Nami would probably deduct half of his pay AND refuse all his date proposals for the next month if she finds out that he's been smoking inside her precious restaurant, but he's unusually restless today and can't step outside since he's the only one there. He sighs guiltily. Nami hasn't shown up in the end, and Usopp's sick. Maybe he should find out what the poor guy's sick with and go visit him with food tomorrow.

The front door swings open with a jingle of the clear sounding bell. Sanji clumsily puts out his cigarette in a panic. His dear Nami would definitely have his head for smoking in front of a customer. He grabs a copy of the menu and walks over as quickly and as gracefully as he can when a green haired punk closes the door behind him and stands near the entrance, waiting to be shown to a table. Sanji frowns slightly behind the privacy of his curtain of hair as he catches sight of the man's clothing.

This particular restaurant, the Tangerine Tabbies (or the Tabbies for short), might not be as high end as the Baratie and is more casual in its dress code, but Sanji's sure he wouldn't even be comfortable being outside his own bedroom in what this man is wearing, let alone in any restaurant. His faded white buttoned wide neck t-shirt is probably a size or two too small, slightly deformed from prolonged stretching. His dark green sweatpants are loose and worn, accompanied by boots in the same condition and colour. Above the sweatpants and around the waist of the old white t-shirt is a leaf-green coloured... cummerbund? But it looks wider and more elastic. Besides, who wears a cummerbund with a t-shirt and sweatpants? A dark green bandana that seems to match the fabric of his pants is tied around the bulk of his muscular left bicep, reminding Sanji of members of motorcycle rider gangs. The only items on him that Sanji remotely agrees with are three golden rectangular bars dangling from the lobe of his left ear.

"Anywhere you like, sir," he says with a professional smile. The man obediently takes the closest table but continues glaring at Sanji for the entire time it takes him to walk up to the table across the empty dining hall. The man's steel gray eyes are strong and piercing, and Sanji has a feeling that they could feel a whole lot colder if the man wanted to look more threatening. Sanji braces himself as he arrives at the table. If this punk wants to cause trouble at this hour, he will have to kick him regardless of what kind of hell his angel Nami will to give him afterwards.

"Would you like a drink to start with?" the blond asks softly as he passes the menu to the man, but the man keeps glaring at him, his straight dark green eyebrows drawn together in a slight frown in the middle of his exposed forehead. Did he dye his eyebrows to match his hair? For someone who puts so little effort into clothing that seems like an awful lot of work, but surely nobody has naturally green coloured hair, right?

"Sir?" he prompts again and seems to snap the man out of his thoughts. The man opens the menu. "Beer." he adds tersely in a slightly husky baritone voice.

"Right away." he answers, flashing the man another smile before turning to grab a glass of beer from the bar. At least it doesn't seem like the punk's looking for trouble. Good. It's his first shift for his dear Nami in a long time, so he doesn't want to mess it up already by kicking a customer. When he returns to the table, the man has just closed the menu and is glaring at it with a deeper frown than before. He looks up as Sanji puts down his glass of beer and frowns even deeper.

"Sorry, can you put that back?" the man asks, gesturing to the beer. Sanji wants to laugh. No, he can't put it back. Yes it's the cheap beer from a bottle instead of the beer tap in the Baratie, but he still can't just pour it back into the bottle and put the cap back on. He struggles to keep the smirk of amusement from creeping up his face. If this were at the Baratie he would've snapped at the man already, but he has to keep up the good customer service for his beautiful Nami's restaurant.

"Is there a problem, sir?" he asks, putting effort into keeping a straight face.

"I forgot to bring my wallet. Is there any way I can undo my order for the beer?" the man says without a trace of embarrassment, as if there is nothing wrong with the situation and it's the most natural thing to be asking. Sanji pauses at that. At the Baratie they'd just let the man finish his beer and kick him out, but regardless of how sweet and generous his beloved Nami is, she's not the type to give out free beer in any situation. However, the decision is made for him when the man's stomach growls. He is hungry. He probably wanted to order some food too.

"The beer's on the house," the blond says, making a mental note to pay for it himself. "Finish it first. I'll be right back," he adds, staying just long enough to make sure the man is starting on the beer instead of standing up and leaving. Then he leaves the table to go to the locker room at the back of the restaurant and takes out and microwaves the dinner box he made for himself earlier in the afternoon out of an attempt to keep his restlessness at bay.

"Here, I forgot that we get employee dinner here and brought my own. Eat it." he says, sitting himself down beside the man and lighting a cigarette. Now that the man's not a paying customer, he probably doesn't need to put up that professional front anymore. He planned to bring it back to Luffy as a last night snack, but this is fine too, as long as it doesn't go to waste.

The man stares at the box with a frown, and for a moment Sanji figures that the frown is the only expression the man's able to have, until his thin lips pulls to one side of his face in a crooked smirk. Damn, for someone with such horrible fashion sense that smile (or smirk, whatever) looks way too good not to be a waste.

"How did you manage to forget that, genius?" the man muses as he opens the lid.

"Shut up and eat, you ungrateful bastard. I don't work here often." he snaps, blowing a puff of smoke. The man doesn't seem to be bother by it and answers "I know" quietly before starting on the food. He must be a regular customer then. Good thing Sanji didn't have to kick him.

Sanji lets the man eat in silence, aside from the sounds of food being devoured in a complete lack of table manners, sitting back in his own seat to watch the man through his curtain of hair. He has normal eyesight in both of his eyes individually, but he can never get them to focus on the same object. Using both eyes at the same time usually gives him a headache, so he styles his hair to block out the vision in one eye and switches sides periodically to avoid losing either eye for lack of use. His eyebrows curl in the same direction too instead of mirroring each other (but that was _honestly_ _not_ why he wanted to have one eye covered at all times). Sometimes he thinks it's as if he had two right eyes that belong to two different people. There are inconveniences that come with his condition, not being able to drive being one of them (only according to Zeff), but it comes with some perks too, like staring at people without being noticed.

The more Sanji studies the man, the more he can't help but think how much of a waste that face and that body are on someone... like that. High and defined cheek bones, high straight nose bone, strong and sharp jaw lines that meet the base of the chin at just the right width, cold steel coloured eyes that always seem to be intensely focused on something invisible, long straight eyebrows that perk up in a sharp peak above the edge of each eye before tailing off, under short messy grass-green hair a square exposed hairline that recedes to almost right angles on either side of the wide prominent forehead before coming down each side of the face as sharp narrow sideburns. His features seem so harsh individually, but all fit together in an air of gentle perfection, accompanied by the smooth tanned skin and a complete lack of facial hair.

Sanji puts out his spent cigarette on the table, letting his tired eyes gloss over the rest of the man's body. No, he's not "checking out" a customer, especially not a guy. He's not a creep. It's just that his eyes need to be on something, and the man just happens to be sitting in front of him. His body is muscular, clearly built from years of training, yet graceful and balanced. The three buttons on his t-shirt carelessly undone, exposing his defined collar bones that highlight the cords of strong neck muscles as they pull and tighten as he eats. One of his large hands much thicker than Sanji's own cradles the dinner box while the other skillfully twists the fork in the pasta.

It's incredibly difficult to take a guess at the man's age, as Sanji thinks he could be anywhere from 15 to 30 years old. Is he a little teenager who spends way too much time in the gym and has such luck in his genetic body type that he looks much older? Or is he a fully grown adult whose smooth skin, lack of facial hair, fashion sense, and table manners make him look younger? Either way, Sanji's sure the lucky bastard will probably still look the same after 10 years. Oh, what a waste! Imagine what he can look like with the most basic fashion sense and proper etiquette! Sanji can't help but let out a sigh.

"'S wrong?" the man asks with his mouth full.

"Life." Sanji lies. It's not a complete lie. He could be in a better mood to appreciate the man's good looks if he weren't so frustrated with his own life today. He quickly forces that thought out of his head. There's nothing he can do about all of that now, so might as well keep it out of his mind.

"You're closing soon, right?" the man asks, catching the last piece of minced meat with the fork and licking it up before putting the lid back on the box, not caring to wipe away the sauce around his mouth. Sanji just realizes that the man has finished the whole box while he's in thought.

"In about 15 minutes." the blond answers looking at the clock. The last hour or so does tend to get lonely when he's the only one out of the kitchen with no customers. He's glad to have some company, even if it's from a non-paying customer and a complete stranger who's slightly on the quiet side. "I should start cleaning up. You're welcome to hang around until I have to lock up." he adds, standing up to lock the front door and starts putting up the chairs and mopping the floor as he wishes that the man isn't in a hurry to leave.

The man watches him intently from the table in silence, his lips slightly pinched and his eyebrows still drawn in a subtle frown. Maybe Sanji should feel creeped out for being watched by a stranger, but oddly it doesn't bother him in the least. In fact he's quite thankful because it seems to ease his mind and makes him feel at peace for the first time in the last day or two.

"I have some good booze at my place. Wanna come have a drink after you're done?" the man asks after a while in an emotionless tone. Sanji stops in his track at the question. Is he... getting picked up by a guy? He turns around to take a proper look at the man's face, which remains expressionless except the small frown that's ever present over the pair of steel gray eyes, confident and piercing, but honest and unassuming. Maybe the man is just the inexpressive type, or maybe this is how it's supposed to go between men? And now that he has made eye contact, he'd have to answer. Shit. What should he do?

Sanji panics, his muscles freeze in place, and his thoughts race. This is a stranger, not Ace, not a lady (because no lady is ever a stranger to Sanji), a complete stranger! He's never done this before. For all he knows this man might be a serial killer setting him as the next target. OK maybe that's a bit far fetched... Should he say no? Ace's words echo in his head, "Sleep it off." Dammit, he wants to. No, he needs to. He mentally tangles his hands in his hair and screams in frustration, which comes out as a subdued slow sigh as small as he can manage. Oh fuck it. He doesn't care anymore. If this man is dangerous, he'd just have to kick his shitty ass when it comes to that. He takes a moment to let the tension drain out of his posture before answering.

"Sounds good. Give me a few more minutes."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

 **A word about updating regularly... I'm a slow writer, so I made sure I had a few chapters head start before I posted the first one. I should be able to update regularly for at least the first few weeks. That being said, I change my mind quite often when editing, and the chapter I'm working on is being difficult with me, so no guarantees... :D**

 **Warning: mature content with mild bondage.**

 **It's also my first sex scene, since this is my first fic after all. Plus I can't force myself to read my own sex scenes too many times, so there might still be some wrinkles. Bear with me.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 2**

Sanji finishes mopping the floor, pays for the beer at the register, washes and dries the empty beer glass and the dinner box, wipes down the counter top of the bar, and heads to the back room to change all as quickly as humanly possible. As he comes back into the dining hall to turn off the lights, he gestures for the man to follow him to the back door.

"Is your place close by?" Sanji asks as they approach the open door to the kitchen. He pauses for a moment to wave goodbye to the cooks still doing the last of the clean ups.

"Depends." the man answers, avoiding Sanji's confused glare. The blond decides not to press for an explanation. He'll find out soon. He follows the man into the parking lot to the side of a dark green motorbike. Sanji's mind immediately flashes to the possibility that the man belongs to a bike gang. It wouldn't be a problem. He can take on more of them if he really ends up in a gang's hideout tonight. He's still in the process of studying the man's back side for a possible weakness when the man shoves his only helmet into the blond's hands. The man examines Sanji for a few moments before turning back to lead his bike out of the parking stall.

"Just hold on to me and don't move too much. I'll do the steering." the man says without another glance at the blond, straddling the bike and starting the engine. Sanji wants to ask if the man will be OK without a helmet, but considering he clearly doesn't have a better suggestion, he quickly straps on the helmet and takes his position behind the man before the bike zooms out of the parking lot into the almost empty street. Sanji notices as he tightens his grip on the man's strange looking cummerbund that the material is warm and elastic. He tries not to get ahead of himself and focus too much on how the powerful muscles of the man's back shift slightly under the thin fabric of the old t-shirt just an inch or two from his own suit jacket. Instead, he turns his attention to the route they are tracing.

East Blue's streets are fairly easy to figure out. There are streets running in the east/west direction, and there are avenues running in the north/south direction, dividing the city into perfect little square blocks. As unfamiliar as Sanji is with the city, and as dark as the streets are at night, he's still sure that the man is making way too many left turns to be going anywhere close to the shortest way home. He is starting to suspect that the man is purposely trying to make his path untraceable by the police before dragging him off to a secluded basement somewhere and murdering him in cold blood when they finally stop at a not-so-secluded high rise building with automatic security doors to its underground parking lot.

The man leads him to one of the top floors of the building and unlocks the door at the end of the short hallway. Sanji is instantly stunned by the view through the floor-to-ceiling windows directly facing the door. Soft night lights of the quiet city dim in comparison to the brilliant full moon, whose reflection glisters across the calm ocean in the distance beyond. That's right. East Blue is by the sea. Maybe that's why Sanji always feels more at home in this small town than in North Blue, but he'd never tell it to the shitty old man. Never mind that, this view alone is probably worth millions!

"Shit! If you can afford to live in a place like this, you should at least do something about your shitty wardrobe." Sanji sighs and moves closer to the window, letting the view engulf him as he sits down on the wooden floor in front of it, basking in the soft moonlight. He doesn't need to "sleep it off" anymore. He almost doesn't even mind being murdered in cold blood anymore (although that's looking less likely by the minute). All his problems and worries and restlessness and helplessness seem to evaporate instantly.

"It's not my place. And my wardrobe is none of your business, curly." the man answers as he makes his way to one side of the window to grab a large bottle and two cups, not bothering to turn on the light as the moon is bright enough. He takes a seat on the floor beside Sanji and fills both cups with the content of the bottle. He passes one cup to Sanji and drains his own in a couple gulps before filling it up again. Sanji's in way too good a mood to care about the insult to his eyebrow from the man for this once, so he takes a sip from the cup instead, immediately noticing that it's stronger than what he's used to. He takes a couple small gulps and feels the burn at the back of his throat. He's about to ask what it is when the man speaks again.

"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. You don't have to though." the man says with a straight face. Confused, Sanji raises his visible eyebrow at the man as a question.

"Something's bothering you, right? You looked like you might need someone to talk to." the man raises his cup, gesturing to the drink. Suddenly it dawns on the blond. The man hasn't picked him up for sex. Somehow Sanji has managed to look pathetic enough that a random stranger, a customer, decided to step in and have a heart-to-heart with him to make him feel better. Well that's just fucking hilarious. Sanji laughs. Shit. That'll be a story Ace would love, not that Sanji would let the damn freckles catch wind of any of this. Of course he's not going to spill his life to a complete stranger who's pretty much prepared buckets worth of pity waiting to drown him in it as soon as he finishes his tear jerking story. But seriously, does this guy not realize what this whole thing looks like? Wait, he can't really be a clueless 15 year old, right?

"How old are you?" Sanji asks when he finally stops his own laughing fit.

"Twenty-one?" the man hesitates, clearly not understanding why Sanji is asking.

"Well that should be old enough for you to have a bit of common sense, no? For one thing, strangers don't need your fucking pity, asshole!" the blond says in as calm a voice as he can manage. He drains his cup in a few gulps, letting it burn its way down. Fuck. Good thing this stuff is strong. He wouldn't have the patience for beer or wine on a day like this. He grabs the bottle and tries to figure out what it is, but the label is in a strange looking language that he doesn't know.

"Sorry." the man apologizes with a blank face and maybe a frown (it's hard to tell because his frown seems permanent), not even bothering to look Sanji in the eye. Sanji laughs again because, really, this is hilarious, or maybe he just can't hold liquor. Well, if he's not "sleeping it off" tonight, drinking it off sounds pretty good too. He fills his own cup again and downs half of it.

"It's OK. I let everyone make the same mistake once. The next time I rearrange their face." the blond waves it off and lights himself a cigarette. The man snorts loudly at the threat, and Sanji shoots him a challenging look, exhaling a puff of smoke before continuing.

"For another thing, when you offer a drink at your place to a complete stranger it usually means you want to have sex, just so you know." Sanji adds with a smirk, letting his eyes rest lazily on the reflected moonlight on the water. The man's the same age as him, so how is it possible that he doesn't know that? Maybe Sanji is a bit on the experienced side for his age, thanks to Ace who used to sneak him into bars before he reached the legal age of 18, but the man really had no clue? The thought makes him unreasonably smug.

They sit in silence for a few moments, and Sanji slowly comes to the horrifying realization that he has admitted that he wants to have sex, to a stranger who has just made it clear that he has no such intentions. Well shit. For all he knows, the man might not even be into men. He might not even be comfortable with the idea that there are men who are into men. And who knows if he's in a committed relationship? He's probably thinking that Sanji is a freak and is kicking him out right about now. At least he's a complete stranger, and Sanji won't have to ever run into him again. Oh but wait, he's a regular at the Tabbies... Shit. Sanji freezes in panic once more as he hears the man shift from his seat on the floor.

"If that's what you wanted, you should just say so." the man says, his voice sounding quite a bit closer than it should. Sanji turns to see where the voice is coming from. He shouldn't be drunk enough yet to have his hearing act this odd. Before Sanji's alcohol-hazed and freaked-out mind can work out what the man is talking about, his half spent cigarette is taken from his mouth and warm, slightly chapped lips are firmly pressed to his own. Sanji lets out a small gasp in surprise. OK. At least the man's not throwing a fit. The blond quickly recovers and returns the kiss with an edge of desperation. He shuts his eyes and forces his tongue into the man's parted lips. He's immediately drowned in a mist of hot alcoholic breath. As he eagerly explores the roof of the man's mouth with his tongue, he finds traces of familiar spices among the flood of burning liquor and a faint metallic taste of blood. Oh yes, the meat sauce from his pasta dinner box.

Good booze in the moonlight and a taste of his own cooking in his kisser's mouth, the night just can't get any more romantic in Sanji's books (apart from the pity bucket of course). Even as a hopeless romantic himself, Sanji hasn't managed anything better than this on a date with any of his ladies. Worst of all, the whole thing is most likely completely unintentional. This lucky bastard. Sanji bites on the man's lower lip in a pinch of irritation, and the man shoves his tongue into Sanji's mouth in retaliation. All the same, the blond is so blissful now that he hasn't even let the taste of blood in the man's mouth bother him. Even if the man is a cannibal, he'd still die happy tonight. He leans forward, pushes a hand on the man's outstretched and muscular arm, which he now notices is planted by his hips. He lets his other hand trace up the man's firm abs and comes to a halt when he realizes that the man's shirt is partly soaked in sweat. He presses on the man's arm and breaks the kiss, panting.

"We need to shower." he says between gasps.

"Why? I don't mind." the man asks breathlessly, putting out the blond's cigarette in his empty cup.

"I do." he glares. The man rolls his eyes and gestures silently behind him, which Sanji assumes to be the direction of the bathroom. Sanji stands up and makes his way over to the bathroom as directed. He pauses at the door when he notices that the man makes no motion to follow him. Well the man could be the have-to-shower-alone type, but just to be on the safe side, he turns and leans on the door frame.

"You go first. I have a couple phone calls to make if I'm going home late." the blond takes out his phone and gestures to the door. He's not completely lying. It's now past 1am, and Luffy hasn't called yet. He doubts that Luffy's actually home like a normal human being. Of course it's silly to worry about Luffy since the boy is insanely strong in fights and almost immune to accidents that could harm him. He's more worried about those who are on the receiving end of Luffy's trouble making abilities. The man, who has gone back to drinking, this time directly from the bottle, turns and looks up at him in annoyance.

"What? I don't need to. I showered this morning." the man takes another swig. Ah, just as Sanji has thought. No matter how divine the man looks right now sitting in the cold moonlight, there's no way he's getting out of this one.

"I did _not_ just hear that. You're showering now, or I'm leaving." Sanji warns, and the man makes a loud "tch" sound in irritation before parting with the bottle. Satisfied with the response, Sanji steps aside from the door and starts dialing Luffy's number, only to be stopped by the man as he walks past. The man takes the phone and drops it carelessly on the bathroom counter before turning on the lights.

"I don't see what phone call can be so important it has to be made now." the man says, ignoring the blond's protest and dragging him in before closing the door by a hook of his foot. The man pins him to the door with a pair of powerful hands and kisses him feverishly. Well, Sanji supposes he's right at least this once. He relaxes into the kiss, allowing the man's hands to slip into his suit jacket to push it off his shoulders as he let his own hands wander and pull at the strange cummerbund around the man's waist.

The sound of his jacket hitting the tiled floor pulls him to a stop. He comes to the realization that he's still wearing his dress shoes. There's no way he's allowing his precious shoes and suit to get steamed in here during the shower. He pushes the man away and strips down to just boxers as the man watches him with a confused frown. He carefully folds all pieces of his outfit into a neat pile with practiced speed and opens the bathroom door to put the pile on the wooden floor by the door, tucking his socks into one of his shoes. When he returns, the man's confusion has turned into a strange mixture of impatience, disbelief, and amusement, a look that seems out of place on the usually expressionless face.

"Didn't wanna get them wet and ruined." Sanji shrugs, "Now what's taking you so long, mossy?" The man, who's still fully dressed, rolls his eyes and turns to start the water before undressing and carelessly throwing his clothes aside on the floor tiles. He steps into the shower and turns to the slightly nervous and awkward blond with a "come on" gesture. Sanji turns his back to the man, takes off his boxers, and finds a clean looking place to leave it beside his phone on the counter. He hesitantly steps one foot into the shower and is immediately dragged by one arm and pinned against the wall.

The shower is small and confining. There is barely enough space for the both of them to stand comfortably. The water that's hitting Sanji's hair and face from above is just a tad too hot. The man holds the blond by his shoulder and assaults his neck. His free calloused hand inches down the side of Sanji's back until it reaches the butt, giving it a firm squeeze. Instead of melting into the touch, Sanji tenses. His eyes are squinted shut. His face tilts down to close the opening to his neck. His hands instinctively fist up in front of his chest, putting distance between the two. He notices that he's holding his breath. Damn, this whole thing with a stranger is harder than he thought. The man's hand moves from his butt to the front, gently stroking his length, but the more Sanji tells his body to relax, the tenser he becomes.

Fuck, just let go, he said to himself, you can do it with any lady, so why is this so difficult? Well with ladies he's usually on the offense for one thing. Ace can do it, so it must be pretty doable. Well Ace might be a natural at it. Shit. Stop making excuses. Just breathe. Just let go and let loose. Just let go of those insecurities. Just let go of those senses. Just let go of those thoughts. Just...

"Let go..."

Sanji doesn't even register his own voice until the man jerks back both of his hands and steps as far back as the small space allows. The blond runs his hands over his face to wipe off the dripping water before opening his eyes and sees anger flash across the man's face before being replaced by concern.

"We can stop here if you..." the man reaches for the shower curtain without finishing his sentence, and Sanji quickly stops him. Shit. He's been a little shit all evening hasn't he? All misunderstandings aside, he's the one who said he wanted this to begin with, and he still does. So how many false starts does this man have to tolerate from him before he kicks him out for the night? He's probably done enough to the man to deserve the pity bucket now. Sanji has to set this straight right this moment. If going with the flow doesn't work, he just has to do it his way.

"Sorry, just distracted. I'll fix it now." Sanji shoves the man back against the opposing wall. Without waiting for a reply, he kneels and places both his hands firmly on the man's hips and licks slowly along the length. The muscles in the man's legs tense, and Sanji might've heard a gasp or a hiss over the echoes of the water spray, but it sounds too far away to tell. He takes one hand off the man's hips and pulls gently at the curly dark green hair in front of him.

"So you're a natural mossy." he smirks, and the man kicks the side of his thigh lightly. Of course with the ladies Sanji would always meet their needs before his regardless of what he likes, but his... "thing" with Ace over the years has made him realize that what turns his switch is ironically the thought of servicing his partner, the thought of neglecting his own needs and focusing on the other's. It doesn't mean he has to be the one doing the actions, but whatever his partner's preferences are, he gets off on the thought of fulfilling them. As a result, sucking his partner off is near the top of the list things that work him up. He finds one of the man's idle hands and slides it into his completely soaked hair.

"Show me how you like it done." he says, making eye contact to make sure the man hears him over the running water and giving the head a light flick with his tongue. He feels a twitch upon contact, but the man looks hesitant.

"You OK with this? You don't have to." the man asks, gently rubbing the side of Sanji's head with his thumb. The blond gives him an annoyed glare, takes the tip into his mouth, and bites just a little harder than what he knows is safe and painless. The man's grip tightens in Sanji's hair as he gasps.

"OK OK. Just... start when you're ready then." the man relaxes his grip and waits. Sanji takes a few deep breaths, as if he's about to go for a dive in the sea, and slides his mouth over the tip. He slowly takes in a comfortable chunk before pausing and experimentally taking a breath, immediately noticing the taste of tender hot wet skin, still slightly salty from the residue sweat that hasn't been rubbed off. It's definitely bigger than what he's used to, but he doesn't seem to be gagging yet. Good. He closes his eyes and tries to block out any noises the man might be making since this next part requires some concentration. Not that he seems to need to; his partner's probably the quiet type from what he can tell, a stark contrast to the creatively expressive freckles he's used to hearing.

He slides his tongue under the shaft as far as the limited space in his mouth allows and is pleased to feel another twitch. Careful not the set off his gagging reflex, he takes another deep breath and goes as far down as he can. He holds his breath again to avoid gagging and taps encouragingly on the hand on the back of his head to urge the man to guide his pace. He leans back against the hand until he's being held in place by it. He takes the chance to breath, making sure to leave room at the back of his throat, anticipating the moment when the man would decide to start pushing him forward. It is perhaps a risky thing to do to put himself in such a vulnerable position in front of a stranger, but so is going to a stranger's place for the night. All the same, he's strong enough to stop things if needs be. Plus, from what he's seen the man's at least trustworthy.

The man starts with a gentle nudge, clearly holding back and testing the water. Sanji eagerly follows the lead and gives the length a generous sweep of his tongue and lips as he goes down. The man hisses loudly and relaxes his hand to let Sanji fall back to the tip. After a few tentative rounds, they fall into a comfortably slow rhythm. The man's hand is firm in its directions, but never forceful, always responding to Sanji's adjustments with the slightest hint of resistance.

Sanji mentally blocks out the sound of the man's ragged breathing and the tremor of excitement in the man's hand and legs. Instead, he focuses on indulging himself in the act itself. The water streams feel much more soothing now that they are the right temperature and are hitting the crown of his head instead of his face. The anti-slip bumps dig into his knee caps painfully where he kneels, but he's too lost in the moment to care. He presses down his tongue to resist the gag and does his best to ignore the temptation of removing everything from his mouth as tears spill out of the corner of his eyes and the salty taste of pre-cum hits the back of his throat. Ah yes, he's losing himself in this. He loses track of the rhythm and feels light-headed when the flame of arousal spreads throughout his body and pools back into his lower abdomen.

Eventually their rhythm becomes erratic and frantic as Sanji rubs and pushes himself over the edge. Feverishly he licks and swallows as best as he can as he releases into his own hands, quickly washed away in the shower. As he comes down from his own high, he notices that the man's hand is no longer holding the back of his head but is firmly gripping his shoulder. The man is clearly holding back either the urge to fuck the blond hard in the mouth or his own climax and release. Either way, Sanji wouldn't mind him letting loose a bit more, so he puts his all into conveying just that thought through his tongue and lips on the man's length.

Within a few seconds, he feels a few urgent taps on his shoulder as a warning, which he ignores and grips the man's hips, giving the man permission to release into his throat. Warm, slimy and slightly salty liquid sprays the back of his tongue and throat, and he feels a shutter run through the man's body. Reflexes take hold of him immediately, and he pushes himself from the man to spit out as much as he can before his stomach tightens into a knot and threatens to throw out the alcohol and what's left of his dinner. He kneels on all fours on the bumpy shower floor, gagging, panting with tears running down his face for about a minute before he catches his breath and cups some water to rinse out the flavour in his mouth.

"Sorry, tried to warn you." the man pants in a hoarse voice. Now that Sanji thinks about it, he hasn't heard the man's voice even once the entire time.

"It's OK. I did it on purpose." Sanji washes his face with the remaining water in his hands and stands up. He was never any good at the swallowing part no matter how much he practiced with Ace. He's still craning his neck trying to wash the leftover drool under his chin in the water stream when he feels cool slippery shampoo being massaged into his hair from behind. He turns to glare at the man questioningly.

"You didn't have to push yourself like that." the man mutters as an explanation, barely audible over the sound of the spraying water despite how close he is to Sanji's ears.

"I like to challenge myself," Sanji smirks, "and I can wash my own hair, thank you very much. If you feel like you must, you can return the favour in the bedroom." he adds, playfully batting away the man's hand. The man stands awkwardly scratching the back of his neck for a second before turning to leave the shower. Sanji stops him again.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Sanji asks, letting his irritation soak through his voice.

"Bedroom?" the man replies, confused once again.

"You came in here to wash up, so you're not leaving without doing that."

"I washed."

"With soap."

"Why? You just made sure yourself it's extra clean here, so we're good." the man points down at his dick with a straight face. Sanji makes an exaggerated gasp of disbelief and drags the man back into the shower with one hand while grabbing the bar of soap with the other to start lathering the man's deliciously tanned skin with soap bubbles.

"I can wash myself." the man protests, snatching the bar of soap.

"Apparently not, you pig!" Sanji says but allows the man to finish washing his own body, folding his arms and standing back slightly to supervise. "And wash your mossy hair too." he adds.

"Why do I need to wash my hair just to have sex?" the man complains.

"Because it ain't a shower if you don't. Is that how your hair turned to moss in the first place?" Sanji snaps. The man glares at him. Sanji stands his ground and glares back. He ain't wrong, so like hell he's gonna back down. If that means nothing else will happen between them tonight, then he doesn't need it. The man might have piercing eyes, but they're nowhere near as intimidating as Zeff's, plus he has no beard. Even if he were as scary as Zeff when angry, Sanji never backs down from Zeff anyway when he knows he's right.

"You'd make a good mom one day." the man sighs, gives in, and shampoos his hair. Sanji's ears ring from the sudden onset of rage. He is just about to comment on how he's doing this because the man's mother failed to teach him about personal hygiene when he realizes that he's about the insult a lady and bites his tongue in horror. By the time he recovers from his shock, the man has already finished rinsing his short grassy strands and is reaching for a bath towel. The man turns to scan the blond from head to toe in a slightly puzzled frown before breaking into a smirk.

"I'll be in the bedroom just next door. There's another bath towel here. Take your time, princess." the man gestures to the shelves before closing the door. Sanji stands dumbfounded for a moment, letting anger, horror, and arousal (damn that perfect smirk on a guy with such sloppy lifestyle) clash within him for dominance. He decides to let them fuel the scrubbing of his skin instead.

Sanji makes his way out of the bathroom wrapped in a clean bath towel after shedding an entire layer of skin from the furious scrubbing. His back feels a little raw, and there are probably faint red stripes all over his body, but at least he's calmed down a bit. "Just next door" turns out to be locked, and out of the two doors left in the hall way, one of them is a closet. He turns the knob to the only door left, which happens to be the one across the hall from the bathroom, and opens it to find the man naked, except the towel carelessly laid across his crotch, a corner pulled up to dry his hair. He sits on the foot board of a queen sized bed in a room lit only by the moonlight.

"Just next door my ass." he glares at the man as he closes the door behind him out of habit. The man doesn't seem to hear his accusation, for he quickly closes the distance between them in a couple strides, discarding the towel along the way and pressing a heated kiss to the blond. Sanji responds eagerly, letting his hands trail up the man's solid abs. He notices for the first time that scars of different sizes and depths are scattered across the man's chest and arms. Sanji traces them as they meet the tip of his fingers and moans into the kiss when he feels the man's erection pressed against his own across his damp towel.

"Top or bottom?" the man breathes. Sanji looks into the man's lustful eyes as he considers his options. He has done both with Ace, and although he bottomed more often than not, it wasn't because he had a preference for it.

"It's up to you." he answers honestly.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be returning a favour here." the man tilts his head, making the gold bars chime softly under his earlobe, and raises an eyebrow, barely visible against the moonlight behind him. "Or are you... inexperienced?"

"Is that your way of complaining what I just did in there wasn't up to your standards?" Sanji snaps and hears the man swallow in response. So he liked it at least. "I'm experienced enough. Thank you for your concern. It's just... It's what I..." He sighs. Sanji might know just what his preference entails, but he's not exactly practiced at expressing it verbally. He takes a deep breath and tries again, breaking eye contact to avoid being stopped by his own embarrassment. "I get turned on when I do what my partner wants, so tell me what you want. If I'm OK with it, we can do it."

There is a moment of silence where Sanji feels his whole face burn, followed by a rush of arousal coursing through his body at the thought of making himself bare and vulnerable, to a man he doesn't even know by name, by sharing such an intimate fact. When the man finally speaks, it's a hushed "Are you sure?" Sanji rolls his eyes.

"Like I said, you tell me what you want, I'll decide if I'm fine with it. I can say no, you know." With that, the man quickly makes his way to the bedside table and pulls out what looks like a pair of handcuffs from the drawer, raising them up in the dim light to the blond questioningly. Sanji hesitates. The sight of the item does send a shiver of excitement up his spine, but as a cook his hands are precious to him. He's not about to risk injuring them just for a fun night. The man seems to take his lack of response as a no and is starting to replace it when Sanji speaks.

"Lemme see. Do you have the key?" Sanji says and holds out his hand.

"It unlocks with the switch here." the man says, plucking the side of one of the loops before holding it out to the blond. The cuff swings open in Sanji's hand. Sanji is relieved when he realizes that only the links between the cuffs are metalic. The loops themselves seem to be made from a hard rubbery material, flexible but not stretchy, and coated by a thick layer of velvety cushion. He tentatively cuffs his left wrist with the open loop, tightening it by increment until it fits loosely around the base of his hand without being able to fall out. He twists the loop around his hand to feel for possible scratches and burns. Then he pulls at the metal links sharply with his free hand and checks for possible bruises. Next he plucks the switch to see if it unlocks easily. All clear.

"They pass. So what's the plan with these?" the blond says, barely concealing a swallow in the middle of a sentence.

"I cuff you to the head board and fuck you." the man answers in a steady voice, pulling a bottle of lubricant and a condom from the same bedside table and holding them up for Sanji to see. Sounds sweet and simple.

"I assume I'm allowed to struggle?" Sanji smirks, because what's the fun in handcuffs if there's no struggle? The man obviously agrees. Sanji swallows once more before continuing and tries to keep his voice from becoming thick in anticipation. "I'll give you a handicap tip. Cuff me face down. If you leave me face up, you won't be able to hold me down long enough for the main event." he adds, not bothering to keep the cockiness out of his voice.

"Hn~?" the man puts on a devilish grin, baring teeth on one side. For a long moment Sanji thinks the man intents to challenge his claim, but eventually he pulls Sanji into his lap and kisses him. "OK, I'll take your word for it this once." the man murmurs almost affectionately while he tightens one loop over Sanji's left wrist with practiced ease. In one swift motion, he pulls Sanji's cuffed hand toward the headboard and swings the other loop around one of the short vertical metal bars near the base and cuffs Sanji's right hand.

Before Sanji finishes wondering if it was a slip up that the man said "this once", as if they'd ever meet again, he's already sprawled over the bed face down with his hands fixed to the headboard. Great. The handicap is supposed to make sure he loses in the end, but that doesn't mean he has to make it easy. He quickly gets on his knees and puts some distance between his legs to give himself some leverage, discarding his loose bath towel on the bed sheet. As soon as he feels the man trying to pin down one of his legs with his body weight, he swings his other leg back toward the man with the flexibility and force he knows would catch anyone by surprise the first time they see him. Sure enough, he feels the man hastily block the kick with an arm but loses balance and topples over onto the bed, making the mattress bounce around him. Sanji takes the opportunity and crosses his arms, allowing himself to roll onto his back, freeing both his legs. He feels a wave of childish glee, the one he felt years ago when he wrestled with Luffy over an extra scoop of ice cream, as he throws his legs around the man's tightly packed waist and twists his hips to flip him onto his back and to straddle him. He beams triumphantly at the man under him.

"What a waste of a handicap." he sneers. His moment of smugness is abruptly cut short by the feeling of warm rough fingers brushing against the inside of a butt cheek. He jerks his legs and tries to dismount the man at once but finds that both of his legs are pinned in place in the back of the knee by insanely strong and steady arms. The cuffs on his hands restrict the range of motion in his upper body so that he's an inch or so away at most from having his entire body pressed up against the man's. The man looks up and flashes him a toothy smile, not giving in to his struggles in the slightest.

"You were saying?" the man hums, his breath tickles Sanji's collar bone, making the blond shiver involuntarily.

"Not like you can fuck me from there." Sanji argues, not wanting to admit defeat so soon. His voice comes out more flustered than he'd like.

"You'd be surprised. But first we need a safe word."

"A what?"

"A safe word, in case you don't like what I'm doing and want to tell me to stop." Sanji considers that for a moment. His pride would like to claim that if he doesn't like it he can stop the man himself anytime he wants, but the fact that he's currently physically overpowered (because of the handicap, not because he's any weaker of course) means the man's probably right.

"Well why can't we just go with, you know, 'stop'?"

"Because you might yell that accidentally when you're high, like 'Don't stop!' or 'Stop teasing me!'" the man explains in a mocking voice, giving the blond the urge to kick him in the head had his legs not been pinned down. "So we need something you won't say without thinking."

"How about 'you win'?" the blond suggests, because there's no way those words would come out of him subconsciously under any circumstances.

"Hmm, I'd like that better as the go word instead of the safe word, but it's your choice." the man whispers with a hint of regret and gives Sanji's collar bone a slow lick before sucking on the same spot with enough pressure to bruise. His fingers promptly return to tracing tickling lines along the inside of the blond's butt cheeks. He inches himself downward on the bed from under the blond, allowing his mouth to trace kisses and bites down the blond's now sweat covered chest. Sanji's breaths quicken at the heat and friction along his inner thighs. His erection twitches and leaks as it slides against the solid abs. He tilts his head to the side to bite on his own outstretched and cuffed arm in an attempt to stop any embarrassing noises from escaping his throat.

"Don't. I want to hear you." the man demands, reaching one hand up to pinch the blond's chin lightly. Sanji realizes that his legs are no longer pinned, but the will to struggle has long left him, giving way to the sweet temptation of submitting to the mercy of the man's bidding. Obediently he removes his mouth from his bicep and rests his forehead instead. His shallow breaths become heavy panting as the man reaches one of his nipples, tugging it gently with his teeth before licking. He hears a pop in his hyperventilated daze, and his butt twitches involuntarily. He snaps his attention to the man's face, now level with the base of his ribs.

The man must be coating his fingers with lube now if Sanji's ears are still functional, but his mouth is diligently kissing and biting every inch of skin he comes across in slow savouring motions without a single trace of impatience or fluster. His breathing is slow and steady; his lips are gentle but insistent. He moves with so much composure it seems he can go on teasing the blond like this for all eternity and still enjoy every second of it, not feeling the need to rush things along. Sanji feels exposed, not only because of the nakedness, nor because of the restraint of his movements, but the fact that he's the only who's losing his self-control, the only one whose desires are being drawn out and laid bare for the man to see. The thought makes his knees tremble below him.

By the time the man's cold slick fingers press against his entrance, Sanji is no longer able to hold back the pleasured moans at the man's every touch. The man's tongue traces a small circle around the blond's belly button, barely touching the throbbing length with the smooth skin on the side of his face. Sanji desperately rolls his hips, seeking more friction for his painful erection, but the man dodges out of the way.

"Fuck! Stop... teasing." Sanji gasps, rolling his hips again to slide his weeping member against the bed sheet instead.

"Told you you'd say that." the man muses and bypasses the erection, playfully kissing his sack.

"Just... do it already!" the blond orders, no longer concerned that it sounds like a plea. The man obliges and licks reassuringly along his length as he presses one finger in, twisting and bending as he reaches deeper. A jolt of pleasure reverberates in his bones, drowning out the slight discomfort in the back with each pass. Ripples of cold sweat break out with the addition of each finger, only to be washed off by ripples of goose bumps following each hot and steady lick. Sanji doesn't know exactly how many are in him by the end, nor can he hear the sounds of his own voice. He's immersed in a sea of sensations, being pulled in a new direction with every wave.

Then suddenly he's yanked back to reality. The man is no longer under him, and his fingers are removed. For a moment the only sound he can hear is the gasping of his own breaths. His body is shivering and covered in sweat. His wrists burn slightly from the force he's using to pull on the handcuffs. He feels empty and yearning. He wants to find the sea he was in a few seconds ago and to dive in, to drown himself there, to let it fill his entire being.

"You have a beautiful voice." the man hums and kisses just above his tail bone. The gesture soothes Sanji's desires as much as a drop of water soothes a drought, but he'll be getting more soon, he assures himself as he hears the bottle cap pop again.

"It's not just my voice. I'm beautiful." he breathes out, noticing the hoarseness of his voice, as if he's been screaming.

"True." the man runs his dry hand appreciatively down Sanji's side before pausing at his hip to pull up slightly. His other hand comes to the other side and holds the blond steady. "I'm coming in." is all the warning he gets before he feels a sharp pain that makes him clench his teeth and pull on the cuffs uncontrollably. The pain slowly recedes as his body adjusts to the intrusion, and he becomes aware of the thumbs gently rubbing along his hip bones. The man is waiting for him.

"I'm good. Move." he chokes out. The man takes a long moment before complying, starting slow but quickly building up the pace. Soon Sanji finds himself submerged again in the sea of sensations, but instead of disjoint waves he's pulled into a whirlpool, spinning steadily out of control. It's not long before he's thrown over the edge, like a freefall, his guts curling into a tight knot, digging in pleasure, fear, and excitement simultaneously.

Sanji doesn't know when, or if the man achieved his own climax at all. When he comes back in reality, panting and unable to move a single muscle, the man is already off the bed and uncuffing his hands. A couple minutes later, the man flips him onto his back on the other side of the bed, spreads a dry towel where the blond's sweat and cum wet the bed sheet, and pulls a blanket over himself as he lies down on top of the towel. Another minute later, Sanji hears snoring. So he's not changing the bed sheet tonight. Well at least he has the decency of giving the cleaner side of the bed to the guest. When Sanji recovers enough to move, he quickly sheds another layer of skin in the shower and dries himself before putting on his underwear and dropping asleep to the sound of soft rhythmic snoring.

* * *

Sanji curses his biological clock when it wakes him up before sunrise again the next morning. The sleep was probably the best he's gotten in a long while, so he doesn't mind having a few more hours of it. It takes him a few moments before he remembers that the man who's still snoring softly into the back of his neck with an arm draped over his is not Ace. Right. He followed a stranger, a man, home, had sex, and stayed over. He struggles a little trying to get out of bed without waking the man, but the man simply rolls over and continues snoring.

He makes his way to the hallway to get dressed, remembering that's where he left his suits and shirt. A thin ring of faint purple bruise on each of his wrists catches his attention as he picks up his shirt. They might've gone a little overboard last night. He makes his way to the bathroom mirror and gives his body a quick check. Surprisingly the ones on his wrists are the only bruises he has beside the one on his collar bone that he remembers getting, so he's the only one who might've been a little out of control. He runs a finger over each of the bruises in silent apology before slipping on his shirt. For someone kinky enough to have a pair of handcuffs in his bedside drawer, the man's been quite gentle.

He picks up his phone from the bathroom counter and quickly checks for news from Luffy. None. Well he'll have to track down the troublemaker later in the day, and he needs to call Usopp to find out exactly how close to death the habitual liar is before he can decide to bring food or Chopper instead when he visits. Maybe Chopper's already there. But first thing first, breakfast.

Sanji has spent numerous nights in the houses of ladies he'd met for the first time in his life, so he has a few things that he would admit to having in his routine for the morning after. Breakfast of course is one of them, usually made from whatever produce available in the fridge, to show his gratitude to the divine goddess who has graced a mere mortal like him with a chance to worship her. The man is definitely no goddess, but breakfast is still a good idea as a simple "thanks for the night." He makes his way to the kitchen and opens the fridge only to find that it's completely empty except for about 20 cans of beer. He finds the pantry and sees that it's just as empty as the fridge, housing only boxes of canned beer and other types of alcohol stacked up in the corner. Not a single pot or pan, let alone ingredients.

Sanji lights a cigarette and sits back on the floor in front of the living room window looking out to the sea. Well that's a first. He contemplates his options. Should he go shopping and come back to cook? He doesn't know where the nearby shops are, and he doesn't have the key either. Even if he does go shopping, he really doesn't feel like buying a whole set of pots and pans for the guy he just met just so he can cook breakfast once. Should he order take out? That would suck. What else? He doesn't want to wait around without food for the man to wake himself up because who knows how long it'd take, but he doesn't want to wake the man up this early just to bug him about breakfast options either. Should he just leave a note and say he owes the guy a cooked meal and leave? He'll have to leave a number.

He's never left his number after a hook up before, but that's because he knows that as a mere mortal he'd only mess up somehow and commit the mortal sin of hurting the delicate feelings of a beautiful goddess. It's a matter of time. He can pull off one day flawlessly, but for anything longer than that he's not so confident. This one however, is not a goddess, so he supposes it's fine to leave a number. He searches his pockets for something to write on and finds the receipt for the beer from last night. He grabs a pen from the nearby counter as he thinks about how to start the note. A new nickname to celebrate the occasion sounds good.

 _Marimo,_  
 _Thanks, I had a good time._  
 _I owe you a meal. Call me when you're hungry._  
 _324 0302_

He considers leaving his name but decides against it since the man never told him his name either. He leaves the note on the floor where he sat the night before, washes the cups, and places the bottle on the counter beside the man's wallet and phone. That trusting bastard left his wallet and phone in plain sight when he brought a stranger home. Maybe he should hide them just to scare the guy into taking better care of his belongings. He decides to put both on top of his note to make the point. He pauses one last time before closing the door behind him and smiles to himself when he hears the faint snoring. Marimo is a cute name.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

 **I put this story down as Drama/Romance, so we're going through a couple chapters of drama first before we get to the romance. :)**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 3**

Zoro is a mood reader. He can see people's moods as glowing and changing colours around the outlines of their bodies. It's nothing brag-worthy as he's sure most of the women he's met in his life have that same ability anyway. It's just that people are always utterly confused when he asks about the colours they see for specific moods. Maybe different people see different colours, or maybe people just have weird names for colours that he doesn't know about. He knows not everyone is a mood reader though. Luffy, for example, is definitely not.

Zoro hasn't always been a mood reader. His earliest memory of seeing mood colours was when he was about nine or ten years old, at the top of a grassy hill under a bright full moon, watching Kuina, who had just beaten him for the 2001st time, break down and cry about how unfair it was that she was born a woman because it made her dream of becoming the world's strongest swordsman impossible to achieve. He didn't know what that thick cloud of sickening greyish purple around her was at the time, but the memory stuck around long enough for him to figure it out. Despair, resentment, helplessness, something along those lines. In his ignorant and hot headed youth Zoro had taken his pent up frustration from the losing streak out on her, yelling that she made him look like an idiot for trying so hard to win against her, asking if she'd blame it on her genes when he finally manages to overtake her through his efforts.

Those words made Kuina laugh, and they even promised to fight each other for the title of the strongest swordsman one day, so Zoro thought he'd managed to clear her silly dark thoughts. However on this day each year, the dark purple glow behind her smile haunts his mind. Kuina died the next day. Her father Koshirou, the owner of the dojo beside Zoro's orphanage, told him that it was an accident. She went to sharpen her sword, Wado Ichimonji, and fell down the stairs, landing on the blade just the wrong way. Everyone believed it was an accident, even Zoro, but when Koshirou entrusted Wado to him along with Kuina's dream, he realized that wasn't the case. Wado is a sword with a strong will of her own. She's been in Zoro's possession for almost 12 years and saved his life countless times, but Zoro knows her master is still Kuina. A sword like her wouldn't cut her master accidentally, let alone taking her life.

Every year when he comes back to visit her grave, he has the same question running through his head. If he had said something different that day when Kuina broke down and cried, would she still be alive today? He'd ask her, but it's pointless talking to a grave stone. Dead people don't exist anymore. They can't hear you. So on this day each year, he's in more need of a drinking buddy than usual. Saga is out of the question. He knew Kuina from the dojo, so they'd just end up talking about Kuina again. He needs a distraction. Come to think of it, Usopp is supposed to be working at Nami's restaurant tonight. It's Friday after all. He can head to Nami's and tell Luffy to meet him there.

With that plan, Zoro gives Kuina's grave stone a quick wipe to remove the last bits of dust and rides his bike into the sunset. People always claim that it's about a half an hour drive from Shimotsuki, where Kuina's grave is, back to downtown East Blue, but Zoro knows they're full of shit. Today the roads move even more than they usually do, and by the time Nami's restaurant comes into view, it's already 11pm. It closes at 12. So much for planning. At least that's enough time for a few beers and some snacks. He's getting hungry anyway.

To his disappointment, neither Usopp nor Nami is anywhere to be found. Instead, a tall thin blond is wearing Usopp's uniform, complete with the long nose's name stitched across the breast pocket. Nami must trust him enough to let him man the dining hall and cash register by himself, so he must not be a complete newbie. How is it possible that Zoro's never met him before? He's spent enough time in this restaurant to call it a second home. He'd probably sleep here too if Nami hadn't made it so difficult.

"Anywhere you like, sir!" the blond smiles, a thin layer of purple, that same sickening greyish purple, lining the outline of his golden blond hair and Usopp's bright orange uniform. Shit, on a day like this. Zoro blinks a few times to make sure it's not just his eyes (well, eye, since only one of his eyes can see mood colours) playing tricks on him, but the purple is still there. It flickers once or twice to a cold dark grey of caution, but quickly turns back.

The blond hands him a menu as he reaches the table, mumbling something about drinks under his smoke filled breath. He has a weird emo haircut that covers almost half of his face, including one of his eyes, which makes Zoro wonder how he manages to dodge all those tables and chairs on his way without proper depth perception. His visible eye is the same colour as the sea with a barely noticeable shimmer. The colour seems to want to pull Zoro in if he stares at it for longer than a second or two. It's kinda pretty, but it's totally ruined by the stupid swirly eyebrow above it. He has a goatee too, a black one instead of blond. It just screams "My features make me look like a girl, so I'm trying way too hard to look a little more badass." In short, all his features look stupid, and when put together, it should make his face look stupid too, but instead it looks... familiar, almost like it makes sense how they fit together (which it totally doesn't). That particular shade of golden blond, that shimmering blue, the swirl, and the pale smooth skin, Zoro's quite sure he's never met this guy before, so where has he seen these?

"Sir?" the blond prompts, jerking him from his thoughts. Oh right, drinks. "Beer." he answers. The blond smiles again and walks away, glowing dim purple the whole time. Maybe it's because Zoro just came back from Kuina's grave, but the combination of that smile and that colour creeps him out almost as much as the first time he met that Kuina-look-alike policewoman who works under Smoker. Zoro reaches for his wallet subconsciously, wanting to pull out Kuina's photo to check for resemblance.

Except... his wallet is not in his pant pocket. Come to think of it, he doesn't have his phone either. Great. Today just can't get any more perfect can it? If Nami or Usopp were working today he'd just tell them to put it on his tab. Nami would charge him some crazy interest, but that'd be it. That wouldn't fly with a stranger server though because whoever Nami hires would probably have the "no tabs" rule beaten into their heads before their first day of work, and it'd be more trouble explaining why he'd be an exception. More importantly it'd make him sound like he's trying to cheat a free meal out of a poor newbie server by giving him a hard time, and that's something he won't touch with a ten foot pole, especially when the poor guy's glowing purple already. So there's only one way, regardless of how much he wants that glass of beer.

"Sorry, can you put that back?" he asks when the blond returns with the beer. Zoro watches in irritation as a thin layer of pale yellow amusement pushes through from under the purple, trying to overpower it. Seriously, what's so funny when he's trying to make things easier for the newbie blond? But at least the guy keeps a straight face, quite professional for a server.

"Is there a problem, sir?" the blond asks, glowing brighter in yellow.

"I forgot to bring my wallet. Is there any way I can undo my order for the beer?" Zoro explains, trying to stretch his patience far enough to cover the irritation at seeing the stupidly sneering yellow. At least that makes the blond hesitate a bit before answering, his colour turning light grey. Then suddenly it turns pale red of... concern? It's the same shade as when Chopper's trying to patch him up after a fight. Why would...

"The beer's on the house. Finish it first. I'll be right back." the blond says, sliding the glass of beer closer to him. The blond seems to have made some kind of decision because all other colours fade, leaving the same shell of purple. Well whatever it is, free beer shouldn't be denied. Zoro downs the glass in one go. The blond disappears into the back room and returns with a lunch box.

"Here, I forgot that we get employee dinner here and brought my own. Eat it." he says, apparently deciding that he's not longer at work because Zoro's not paying, sitting down at the table and lighting a cigarette.

Zoro is a proud man, and he knows he's even a little touchy at times when it comes to the matter of pity. He'd break noses at the first sign of it. Luckily though for the blond, Zoro's had years to figure out the exact mood colour of pity, that pearly white of superiority and self-satisfaction, and how it differs from the pale red of genuine concern and compassion. So instead of breaking the blond's nose, he decides to settle the score for the sneering yellow from earlier. Yes, he's vengeful like that.

"How did you manage to forget that, genius?" he smirks and is rewarded immediately by a dark purple blue of annoyance, a colour Usopp called indigo. When the group first learned of Zoro's eye power, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper spent a week or two following Zoro and asking him what colour he saw while pointing to random people. It was annoying as hell, but at least it helped Zoro pair up a few moods with their colours and learn a few colour names in the process.

"Shut up and eat, you ungrateful bastard. I don't work here often." the blond snaps, blowing off smoke in annoyance, much to Zoro's satisfaction. He knows the blond doesn't work here often. Zoro might've had more fun here if he did. Zoro turns to the lunch box and opens the lid. He is hungry, and the smell of food makes him remember that even more. It's some kind of noodles in a thick sauce. Looks edible. He begins shoving it into his mouth.

When he's about half way through the box, he notices that the blond is leaning back in his seat and glowing with the light blue of curiosity, one of the colours Luffy likes to wear. His face is turned so that the eye that's not being blocked by his stupid emo hair is invisible to Zoro. There's a blue shimmer that matches his mood colour barely visible through the thin curtain of golden strands. He's studying Zoro, and he thinks he's being discreet. Zoro muses but keeps a straight face by stuffing more food into his mouth. Then a flash of reddish brown, or maroon, as Usopp would've insisted, rips through the beautiful blue. What was that again? Regret? Disappointment?

"'S wrong?" Zoro asks, but the reddish brown is already starting to dissipate.

"Life." the blond replies tersely, his colours fading to the usual purple background. Life must be tough for a colour like that to be the base colour of his moods. Zoro thinks back to Kuina. What could he have done to make her purple fade? Maybe he can find the answer today.

"You're closing soon, right?" Zoro asks, finishing the last bit of food.

"In about 15 minutes. I should start cleaning up. You're welcome to hang around until I have to lock up." the blond says as he busies himself with the closing routines. His outline now glows gently in a shade of teal, one of Saga's base colours, but not as intense. Zoro has yet to figure out exactly what mood that is. The teal keeps shifting until it settles in a soothing dark green Zoro proudly recognizes as his favourite shade of relaxed contentment. This guy really likes cleaning.

But the ugly purple stubbornly hangs on to the edge of the blond's outline in a thin strip, threatening to return as soon as other moods fade. What can he say to get rid of it? He doesn't even know what the gloomy blond's problem is, and it's not like he can ask about it while the guy's trying to close down.

"I have some good booze at my place. Wanna come have a drink after you're done?" Zoro asks and waits. The blond's colour starts swirling in a light grey hesitance and slowly turns into dark grey doubt like a growing storm. He turns around to look Zoro in the face, and a single drop black fear, the one Zoro's so used to seeing around Usopp, peaks its head until the whole thing is suddenly overtaken by silvery excitement. It's like the blond's an elementary school kid being invited to a sleep over for the first time.

"Sounds good. Give me a few more minutes." the blond beams in a layer of bright silver next to his golden hair. He looks good in that one.

At some point before getting to the parking lot, the blond asked Zoro if his place is close by. Well that's a stupid question because obviously it'd depend on how much the buildings move today. He wonders as they reach his bike if the blond has ever been on a bike before. When he turns around to pass his helmet, he finds the blond, now dressed in black suit and blue dress shirt, enveloped in a mixture of light grey hesitance and dark grey caution. OK, probably a first timer.

"Just hold on to me and don't move too much. I'll do the steering." he instructs, making a mental note that he'll be riding without his license or a helmet. He'd just have to not get into a crash.

The way to his apartment is rather uneventful. The buildings move as always, but they seem to be rather tame today, so they make it in about half an hour. As soon as he opens the door, the blond makes his way to the living room window and begins glowing in dark green. His ugly purple instantly vanishes without a trace. Looks like he doesn't need a drink after all. Zoro looks out the window himself. It's full moon tonight, a nice view for sake. He briefly wonders if a nice view like this could've cheered up Kuina that night. Of course not. It was full moon that night too. Maybe the blond has a thing for the moon, or maybe his problem isn't that serious after all.

"Shit! If you can afford to live in a place like this, you should at least do something about your shitty wardrobe." the blond breathes softly. His gentle tone doesn't seem to justify the uses of profanity, but it still annoys Zoro how the blond is sticking his nose where it doesn't belong.

"It's not my place, and my wardrobe is none of your business, curly." Zoro answers and makes his way to the bar to grab a bottle of sake and cups. They can still have sake even if it's not for the purpose of talking. It'd be a waste of the full moon if they don't. He's slightly relieved to see his wallet and phone sitting on the bar counter. A tiny green light is blinking from his phone, showing that he's got missed calls or messages, but he's not in a hurry to check those. He takes a seat next to the blond and pours out the sake for both and drinks his own. Sake never fails, even on this day of the year. He's on his third or fourth cup before he looks over at the blond who seems to be studying the cup's content by sipping it like wine. Zoro should just ask since it's bothering him already, since he brought the guy home already, since they're drinking already. It's really none of his business, but it's not like the guy doesn't have the choice to just tell him to fuck off.

"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. You don't have to though." Zoro starts off. The guy's confused. Zoro doesn't even need to see the mixed up colours along the guy's outline to know that. It's written all over his face, or the visible half of it.

"Something's bothering you, right? You looked like you might need someone to talk to." he explains to the blond and watches in slight panic as the blond's mood snaps to a mixture of maroon disappointment and annoyed indigo. What? Did he say something wrong? The blond laughs without a single drop of bright amusement in his mood colours, that ugly purple creeping back instead.

"How old are you?" the blond asks after a while. Fuck, did he touch a nerve of some kind? This is why he should just stay clear when it's none of his business.

"Twenty-one?" he answers. He's messed up already, so might as well find out what he did wrong.

"Well that should be old enough for you to have a bit of common sense, no? For one thing, strangers don't need your fucking pity, asshole!" the blond says, his voice dark with restraint. Zoro quickly runs through what he said earlier in his head. The blond's right. That sounded like pity. He honestly doesn't pity the guy, but if Zoro heard that line from someone else without his mood colours for a hint, he'd break that person's nose for pitying him. With his mood reading abilities he knows it's not a fair accusation, but the blond probably can't read mood colours.

"Sorry." Zoro says quickly before his pride finds out what his mouth is doing and stops it. He really isn't, but it's easier to say that than to try to explain his intentions. In fact he's not sure if he can explain his intentions even if he tries. The blond's mood is instantly brighter, happily swirling in pale yellow. Come to think of it, this guy's mood seems to shift more quickly and easily than anyone Zoro can think of. It's like he can go through the entire rainbow in a couple seconds. Fickle blond, Zoro muses as he watches the guy refill his own cup.

"It's OK. I let everyone make the same mistake once. The next time I rearrange their face." the blond says before lighting a cigarette. Zoro gives the blond another sweeping look and decides that he's a big talker. That body looks like it'd snap in half if he tries anything as extraneous as rearranging someone's face. His disbelief must've been audible because the blond switches to the indigo annoyance again before exhaling a puff of smoke.

"For another thing, when you offer a drink at your place to a complete stranger it usually means you want to have sex, just so you know." the blond adds. Oh. OK that's... definitely news to Zoro. The only reason he ever goes to bars is for the booze, so naturally he doesn't have a clue to what secret codes they have for that kind of things. It's not like he doesn't have sexual needs, but those are opportunities for mental training and can usually be dealt with by meditation and cold showers. And on the rare days when his will is weak and those methods don't work, he had an agreement with Saga. (No, he doesn't jerk off. That's like lying to his own body.)

The blond is quietly shifting through colours again, but Zoro's mind is too busy to decipher his moods. The blond followed him home thinking they'd have sex. Zoro doesn't have the need today, and even if he does, it's always a stupid idea to get physically involved with someone he just met. It can get messy in too many ways. He should just tell the blond it's a misunderstanding and send the guy home -

He's distracted from his thoughts by a particularly bright glow of smug yellow from the blond. He can practically hear the guy's cocky thoughts: "How can he not know that? Did he live under a rock or something?" Then the blond turns doubtful grey with drops of black as he seems to remember that he just admitted to following a stranger home for sex. Change of plan. The opportunity to fix the blond's smugness is just too good to pass up.

"If that's what you wanted, you should just say so." Zoro hums, leaning over to take the blond's cigarette from his mouth before pressing their lips together. That should wipe the smug smile off his face.

* * *

Zoro wakes up the next morning with a start. He just had a dream about Usopp asking Luffy for a duel about something serious, which is ridiculous because when those two are together, they never get anywhere close to serious. Usopp is so scared of pain that he'd avoid a real fight against an insect if he can help it, let alone against Luffy, let alone asking for it himself. That's why it's a dream, no matter how real it seems even after waking up.

He soon realizes that he slept naked, which kinda feels nice, but he wouldn't usually go through the trouble of stripping for bed just for the comfort. Ah yes, he had a guest over last night. He hears no sound from the bathroom or the living room, so the guy must've left while he was asleep. His hand goes to the side of the bed to see if his swords are still there, but he quickly remembers that Chopper still has them from his injury a few days ago. He should get them back tomorrow after he lets the little reindeer poke him around a bit more. Chopper always makes a big deal out of these minor injuries (just a dislocated shoulder this time), but it's hard to say no to him.

Zoro showers and heads to the living room for his morning meditation routine and finds his wallet on top of his phone on the floor. The message is clear: Don't leave your valuables lying around with a stranger. Tch, the blond is really an ungrateful bastard for the amount of trust Zoro showed him. Not that Zoro has much of value there in the wallet for anyone to steal, but he's a good judge of character, and the blond seemed trustworthy enough with a wallet at least. He opens his wallet and runs a finger over Kuina's photo, his mind wandering to the purple grey outline around the blond. What was it exactly that he wanted to accomplish last night anyway? Whatever it was, Zoro's absolutely sure it wasn't sex, at least it wasn't in the beginning. He has indulged a bit too far, letting his mind and body take over his will and roam free like that. He needs more training. Without wasting another breath, he sits down in the morning light in front of the window and starts his meditation.

His meditation is cut short, much to his annoyance, by the sound of his phone buzzing angrily on the floor beside him. He picks up with a grunt.

"Yo Zoro, it's me, Ace. I bet you didn't read your messages for the last two days, did you?"

"No. Left it home."

"As I thought. Hey you remember the ex I told you about that needs a place to stay, right? How about it? Can he stay at your place? You won't regret it. His food is amazing."

"Since when do you have ex-es? But sure, the other room is empty anyway."

"This is the only one I ever had. He's kinda the sticky type, so-"

"Ah whatever. So when's he moving in?"

"What do you mean whatever? You're the one who asked!"

"The story sounds troublesome, so just get to the point."

"... How about tomorrow afternoon? He can cook dinner for us, and we can have a party at your place."

"You and Luffy just want any excuse to have a party, right? Tomorrow's fine, but I don't have food here for him to cook."

"I know I know. We'll bring everything, but we're drinking your booze, OK?"

"Tch, like you ever bring your own."

"So that's a yes? OK see you tomorrow!" Ace hangs up. Zoro stares at the black screen for a few seconds before he notices the blinking light at the top. He probably should read those messages that Ace mentioned. Not that he usually gets many since his friends know he doesn't read them. He unlocks the screen and finds that he has 5 missed calls (3 from Ace and 2 from Nami) and 4 messages. Not too many.

 _Yo Zoro, my ex kinda needs a place by Sunday, so have you decided if he can stay at your place? He's an awesome cook. You'll love his food. - Ace_

That one's taken care of.

 _Hey, how're you feeling? Wanna drink tonight? - Saga_

Saga must've remembered it was that day of the year too. Not that Zoro ever drinks with Saga on that day. There's only so much you can talk about with a childhood friend without bringing up what Zoro needs a distraction from.

 _Zoro, we (Usopp and I) are not gonna be at the restaurant tonight, so just don't go there, OK? Find somewhere else. Go bug Luffy or Franky or something. If I find out you showed up there I'll double your debt. - Nami_

Fuck. Well that's a little late. From time to time Nami would give him warnings like this and tell him not to go to her restaurant. It doesn't always have anything to do with whether Nami or Usopp are there or not, and it doesn't seem to follow any pattern. He's been strictly adhering to those warnings in fear of his debt going up even more quickly than it is, but what's so bad about going there on those days anyway? He went there yesterday, and he's still alive. Drowning in debt, yes, but still alive. Oh wait, if Nami doesn't find out, he'll be fine. Does she have security cameras? She probably does. Fuck.

 _Oi Zoro, are you still alive? Nami said she can't reach Luffy either. Are you two together? Are you lost? You'd better not gone and gotten yourselves injured again, you hear me you bastards? - Chopper_

This one he should probably reply. He doesn't like the idea of distressing the little doctor more than he has to. Luffy going missing is news to him, but then again Luffy's missing twice a week anyway. He'll probably turn up when there's food, like tomorrow. Zoro quickly sends a little "I'm fine" and "don't worry" to the reindeer to ease his poor mind.

All checked. Zoro deletes his call history and messages. He doesn't know when he started, but it's a good habit to have especially for someone in his position. It makes sure no one can accidentally steal information of his friends and harm them. He even has everyone's number memorized by heart so he doesn't have to save them to the list of contacts. He checks one more time to make sure everything's cleared and sets his phone down so he can continue his interrupted meditation, but a piece of paper catches his eyes. It must've been there with his phone and wallet before. There's a message written in fancy swirly handwriting. Zoro takes the piece of paper and realizes that it's a receipt from Nami's restaurant.

 _Marimo,_

 _Thanks, I had a good time._

 _I owe you a meal. Call me when you're hungry._

 _324 0302_

It just so happens that Zoro actually knows what a marimo is, so much to his displeasure, an image of a fluffy green ball of seaweed the same size as his head pops into his head at the sight of the nickname. That cheeky blond must really enjoy giving out free meals. His stomach growls at the thought of food, making it difficult to meditate. It's almost lunch time, but he needs to get at least a set of training done before he eats since meditation is not happening. He stands up and makes his way to the weight room, leaving the note where he found it.

* * *

Leaving the note by the window turns out to be a mistake. Zoro hasn't been able to meditate again at all for the last day and a half. He's trashed the note after about the 3rd attempt, but even then when he sits in front of the window and closes his eyes, images of that night keep coming to him. Images of the blond walking toward him in Nami's empty dining hall, of the blond drinking his sake in the soft moon light, of the shimmering blue eyes looking up at him through the shower sprays, of the pale body shivering above him, of the blond glowing in bright yellow, in dark green, in pale red, in light grey, and in sickening purple. After a while Zoro gives up and decides he'd spend the time training his body until his mind is willing to cooperate again.

As a result, he's spent most of the last couple days in the weight room, coming out only to order take outs, to pee, and to sleep. As a result of the result, he's missed another dozen or so messages and calls by leaving his phone in the living room, but most of those have been people telling him they'll be at his party. Ace must've been quick in making the round of calls inviting everyone. This is one of their smaller parties since it's at his apartment instead of Nami's restaurant or Vivi's castle. Only their close-knit group are coming, just the way Zoro likes it. He doesn't like parties in general, but he doesn't mind their group.

He's just waking up from his after-lunch nap when he hears the first chime of his door bell. He hates that sound, but it's not like he has a say in what the door bell should sound like. It's not his place after all. It belongs to his adoptive family. The whole building does. He grunts and gets out of bed to open the door.

"Yo Zoro~ Just woke up?" Ace grins from behind the door, holding two bags in one hand and another hanging off his shoulder. "I found Luffy and brought him with me, in case you were worried."

"Yo Zoro! I went fishing and caught this huge yummy looking fish," Luffy yells and pushes his brother aside, not waiting to get into the room to start his story. "And when I tried to eat it I got poisoned! I thought I was gonna die." the boy chuckles.

"Oi Luffy, at least let me put down the groceries before you start your long ass story!" a third voice says, a voice that sounds way too familiar. The boy is promptly kicked through the door, rolling on the floor until he smashes his face on the living room window. The blond, _the_ blond, with his ridiculous hair, stupid eye brow, blue eyes, goatee, way-too-formal suit and dress shoes, and a puffing cancer stick between his lips, his mood glowing in a disgusting light pink, strolls into Zoro's apartment, his hands full with bags of groceries and cooking equipments. "Hey Marimo." the blond nods. The world is fucking small.

"So Curly here is your ex?" Zoro smirks and turns to Ace, nodding toward the blond.

"Yeah. Sanji. Have you guys met?" Ace says. Zoro freezes at the name.

 _Sanji_ , he knows that name. So that's where Zoro's seen the curly eyebrows and blue eyes. This blond is the heir of Zoro's adoptive family, the heir that went missing as a child.

Shit. He shouldn't be here. One of them will be killed.

"He's... Ace, sorry but he can't stay here." Zoro says with all the seriousness he can pack into words. There are things he's not allowed to explain to them, so he silently hopes for the brothers and the blond to understand that it's not about his preferences in roommates that he's talking about. It's not a matter of talking him into doing Ace a favor or letting a stranger stay out of kindness. He wonders if Sanji knows about his own situation, if he knows where he's standing, or if he's come to Zoro knowing exactly what he's getting into. The blond's mood colours are shifting again, but Zoro's too preoccupied to read them.

"What? But you said..." Ace breaks the tense silence.

"It's OK Ace." the blond, Sanji, cuts him off, dropping his bags to the floor and reaching for his half burnt cigarette. He exhales a puff of smoke, hurt written all over the visible half of his face. "Can you give me a ride to a hotel?"

"What? Wait, it's not OK. What's going on Zoro? You're not one to go back on your words." Ace asks, furious.

"I'm really sorry. I can't. I didn't know it was him." Zoro says. That's the most he can say. He looks Ace in the eyes as his heart pounds loudly in his chest. Please understand. He's not being selfish. Ace glares back with anger and disappointment. Zoro hates that look, but he holds his gaze.

Then he feels a hand on his uninjured shoulder, Luffy's hand, firm and steady. The boy speaks from behind him.

"Zoro, let him stay." Luffy says, his voice deep and calm. Zoro knows it's Luffy being serious. That voice usually calms him in fucked up situations, but Luffy doesn't know about his problem.

"I can't."

"It's OK Luffy. I'm not homeless." the blond snorts, his shoulders trembling, turning to leave. Ace holds on to his arm with a free hand.

"Sanji will be fine, Zoro. He's strong, and we're here too. Let him stay." Luffy insists, squeezing Zoro's shoulder for reassurance. Zoro turns to look at Luffy in shock. The boy grins widely at him. Luffy knows. Why? That kid's almost telepathic at times, but still, if the family secret is leaked, they'll both be targeted soon.

"Wait, what are you talking about, Lu?" Ace demands, confused.

"There are some dangerous thugs that live in this building, and Zoro thinks Sanji might get hurt if he runs into them. But he doesn't know Sanji's strong, so everything's fine. Now Sanji, cook me some meat!" Luffy explains, going back to his cheerful normal voice and wrapping his arms around the blond to drag him to the kitchen. Ace lets go of the blond and continues glaring at Zoro as a silent question.

"Yeah, something like that." Zoro agrees. It's close enough to the truth. He wonders how Luffy knew about it though, and it sounds like Luffy knows to keep it a secret too.

"Fine, as long as you let him stay." Ace says, returning to his cheerful self. "But if you make him cry, I'll break your leg." he adds with a smirk as he closes the door and heads to Zoro's weight room to put down Sanji's belongings.

"You sound like I'm trying to date your baby brother. Leave his stuff in the bedroom. I'll sleep in the weight room. The bedroom's not big enough for my weights."

"Sanji is like another baby brother to me, so be good to him." Ace warns and wiggles an eyebrow, "And are you trying to date him?" Before Zoro can show Ace just how uninterested he is in answering that stupid question, Luffy flies across the dining room and lands under the table, knocking over two chairs on the way.

"Keep your shitty hands off the food until I'm done. Ace, keep the rubber shithead out of the kitchen." the blond yells.

"Sanji's so mean~ Just a little bit is fine, right? I'm hungry~" the boy pouts and dusts off his pants.

"Ah. See, now the firecracker cook is mad. It's your fault, Zoro." Ace lowers his voice, walking across the living room to sit beside Luffy at the table. Zoro follows so they can keep their voices low.

"Why would it be my -"

"Just apologize before he makes everything spicy, will you? Luffy and I don't mind, but Chopper probably can't handle it. Besides, I don't know what's going on, and it sounds like you had a good reason to say that, but Sanji's probably thinking you just hate him. Not that I know what happened between you guys, nor do I want to pry. Just clear it up with him. You'll be roommates now, right?"

Zoro looks toward the blond just in time to see him pick up something from the garbage can and jam it into his pant pocket before furiously stuffing the garbage can with Zoro's empty take out boxes for the last two days. Oh, the note. The garbage can should be empty except for the little paper ball. The blond's now busy unpacking his pots and pans, glowing in a dark blue that reminds Zoro of Usopp when Kaya finally told him she couldn't handle their long distance relationship anymore and wanted to break up. So the blond is a drama queen.

The door bell rings again before Zoro can figure out how he'd go through this "apologizing" business, giving him an excuse to walk in the opposite direction instead. He opens the door to find a tearful but bright yellow Usopp and a worried looking Nami in pale red, such a rare colour for her. Both of them push past Zoro without a single word of greeting, heading for two different destinations.

Usopp zooms to the kitchen and wraps all four limbs around Sanji's waist, wiping his tears and snot on the blond's expensive looking suit.

"Sanhi, I've so *sniff* I've so habbi *hic* so habbi you're vack! Wwwwaaaaaahhh..."

"Usopp stop it! Uh gross! What the fuck are you talking about? I just saw you yesterday, shit nose!" the blond hits his head with a pot, but Usopp ignores the attack and continues his tearful reunion.

Nami on the other hand throws her arm around Luffy and drags him in a head lock to the couch on the far side of the living room. She lets go of the boy and speaks in a perfectly audible whisper.

"Oi Luffy, you knew what your brother was trying to do, right? Why didn't you stop him?" Zoro feels a chill run down his spine. Why does it sound like Nami knows about his little problem too? He feels Ace shift awkwardly in the next seat.

"Ah, it's fine. Sanji's a nakama after all." Luffy says cheerfully.

"I know that, but that's why we have to keep them safe, right?" Nami gives him a doubtful look.

"Don't worry. We're stronger now." the boy says and starts heading back toward the kitchen, dismissing further discussion.

"Wait! 'Don't worry.' he says, we don't even know who we're up against!" Nami calls after him, still trying to keep her voice low, but her words are ignored.

Nakama? Zoro knows what that means. If anyone in their group has a problem, it's everyone's problem, and each of them is willing to risk his or her life for anyone else in the group. That's how close they are. So the blond is a new member then? Well that changes things. If he's a nakama, then instead of keeping him away, they'll just stick together and fight off whatever danger that comes his way, even if the enemy is that family. But what if the blond doesn't want to fight them? He can still stay out of this mess. He just has to stay away from Zoro, or not be found out.

"Did I... do something wrong?" Ace leans over to him and asks, breaking his thoughts.

"Yeah, but you didn't know, so it's fine." Zoro says, standing up and making his way to the couch.

"Who else knows about this?" he asks Nami since she's more reliable than Luffy when it comes to answering questions, although she's always more troublesome to talk to.

"Everyone in the group except Sanji himself. Just the general situation and no details though. Definitely no names, so we're not in danger." Nami says reassuringly, glowing pale purple in defeat.

"I don't know how you all learned, but don't tell him. If we're careful he won't be found out even if he lives here. He can still back out when he leaves. He has a place to go back to somewhere, right?"

"Hmm? I'd ask you for lip sealing fee, but I kinda agree so I'll let you off this once. You just met him less than an hour ago and you're being protective already? That's kinda cute." Nami teases. Of course. She's a witch, that's why.

"I'm not -"

"Oh wait, it's not your first time meeting him because you probably ignored my warning and showed up at my restaurant Friday night anyway, right? You didn't answer my calls or messages." the witch pulls a calculating smile, her colour shifts through light blue curiosity to a scheming pale brown, a colour she wears so often it's pretty much her base colour. Dammit. It doesn't look good for Zoro's financial situation.

"I take that as a yes." Nami folds her arms and sits back. See, this is why Zoro is sure she's a mood reader too. It's like she can read his mind. "I did warn you, so you agree your debt should be doubled." That wasn't even a question.

"I didn't see your warning until the next day! I left the phone at home!"

"Well that'd be your problem then, no? Your phone's meant to go out _with_ you."

"You witch, is this what you -" Zoro's accusation is interrupted when the once again flying rubber boy hits him on the side and knocks him over.

"AAAACE!" the blond shouts as he storms toward them from the kitchen.

"Yes, sorry sir!" Ace grabs Luffy and ducks out of the way just before a kick sends Zoro up from the floor followed by a foot that pins him to the large window by his chest. A dull ache runs through his healing shoulder. Zoro grabs the ankle with his good hand and tightens the grip in an attempt to pull it off his chest, but it doesn't move.

"What the _fuck_ did you just call my beautiful Nami, you shitty grass head?!"

"What the fuck is _your_ problem, you stupid dartboard?! It's none of your business! I wasn't talking to you!"

"Any shitty manner-less ape who dares to insult a lady makes it my business to kick some basic etiquette into their thick rotten skull, you hear me shitty plant?" the blond releases the hold on Zoro's chest only to drop another kick aiming at his head. He blocks with his injured arm just in time, stopping it an inch or so above his forehead. Pain breaks out in his shoulder again. Damn, he's been overdoing his weight training these couple days.

"Oi S-Sanji, you'd b-b-break the w-window if you f-f-f-f-fight there. W-we're on 23rd f-f-floor you know!" Usopp pokes his head out from behind the couch.

"Sanji, Zoro, you bastards what do you think you're doing?! Sanji get off him! He just dislocated his shoulder this week!" Chopper yells from the half open door where he's standing with Robin and Franky, apparently having arrived just as the fight broke out.

The blond halts, still pushing down with his leg and glaring at Zoro with his one visible blue eye. A pinch of light grey hesitation mixes into his angry blood red mood. His eye slowly makes its way down Zoro's slightly trembling arm to his shoulder, but he makes no move to retreat his foot. Tch. Zoro doesn't need this scrawny ass blond who just happens to have legs slightly stronger than average to consider going easy on him because of some stupid shoulder wound. If only he had his swords back, the blond would be in pieces by now. He grits his teeth and bears the pain as he tries to throw the blond off balance by pushing back on his raised leg, but still it doesn't budge.

"It's OK Sanji. I didn't mind. You don't have to defend me." Nami finally gives her try at breaking the fight, but it only seems to fuel the blond's strength.

"You heard her, question mark. She doesn't mind." Zoro gives the blond an unimpressed look.

"Nami, being the angel that she is, is forgiving enough to say that she _didn't_ mind, so the next time you let such vulgar language out of your shitty mouth in the presence of my sweet Nami, I'll be breaking your other shoulder, asshole moss!" the blond threatens and finally puts down his leg with a click on the floor. He pulls out a cigarette and lights it.

"I'd like to see you try, and look who's talking about vulgar language." Zoro says as he readjusts his shirt. The blond promptly goes back to glaring, shoving his hands back into his pant pockets and shifting his weight to prepare for another attack.

"That's enough Zoro, or I'll increase your debt again! Sanji~, I'm thirsty. Could you get me a drink please?" Nami says quickly before the new round begins. It works like a charm, or a spell, since it's from Nami.

"Yes of course, my love~! Right this moment!" the blond spins on his heels to noodle around the witch before practically dancing his way to the kitchen, glowing in the exact same shade of disgusting pink he was in when he arrived. What an idiot. And here Zoro thought the blond was into guys, not that it matters because it's none of his business anyway, not that he's even the least bit curious.

Zoro hears the soft click of the front door being closed before everyone in the room lets out a breath in unison. Soon the chatter resumes as people move to greet the new arrivals.

"Bad mouthing girls in front of Sanji is suicide you know. Zoro you're kinda stupid aren't you? Hahaha." Luffy chuckles and picks his nose as he lets the little doctor fuss over his near death poison experience.

"I don't wanna hear that from you, idiot! You never warned me!" Zoro shakes his fist at the damn rubber as Ace pulls the swordsman aside with an arm around his neck, wearing an irritating smirk.

"Now I'm curious. How did you two meet last time?"

"It's none of your business."

"I knew you'd say that. It just means there's something interesting. Come on, spill!"

"Fuck off. What the fuck happened to not wanting to pry?" Zoro pushes the freckled overgrown boy off his shoulder. "I have an apology to make before Chopper's dinner is completely ruined. You gonna give me a hand?" because it's proving harder than he thought to just march up to the blond and apologize. He's not even completely sure what he should be apologizing for. Definitely not for calling Nami a witch at least.

"Oh about that, I don't think we need to rush anymore. Just make sure you get to it sometime today." Ace says, ruffling his grassy hair. Zoro glares and bats off his hand, making the freckled man laugh.

"Hey," Ace hums, making Zoro turn to look at him at the sudden tenderness in his tone. The freckled man is looking across the room with a warm glow of light green affection, one that he often wears when he listens to Luffy's stories. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Zoro follows his line of sight and sees the stupid blond, still in pink, spinning around to offer a large glass of fancy drink to Nami then takes Robin's hand and kisses it.

"I don't believe in love." he answers honestly.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

 **Just want to mention that I'll probably have to slow down the updates soon. I've been writing the same chapter (6) since I started posting this story, and it's still not finished. :'(**

 **Spoiler warning for Sanji's family situation.**

 **There are more notes at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 4**

Sanji fills his own glass from a bottle of champagne he hand picked from the idiot marimo's begrudgingly impressive collection, a champagne that goes well with today's seafood themed feast. He puts down the bottle and nods to Luffy, giving him an OK to start the toast. It's their tradition for every feast, with or without any reason to celebrate, that they start with a toast. The boy grins and raises his glass. Everyone follows the gesture.

"Yoshi," Luffy yells, "cheers to coming back alive to see all your faces!"

"I thought it's for the reunion of - " Chopper starts, but Usopp cuts him off with a loud "shhh" and a firm shake of his head.

"Reunion? Isn't it for our new nakama the pervy cook?" the asshole moss says.

"What are you talking about? You're the new nakama here, you shitty moss!"

After dishing out a death punch to those who spoke up (Sanji included, as well as Usopp, just because), Nami sighs and raises her glass again. Ah, angry Nami is so beautiful too!

"Geez, you guys don't even know what this party is for? Cheers to Sanji and Zoro becoming roommates!"

"Cheers!" everyone replies. Chatters and laughter soon break out as the feast officially starts. Sanji busies himself with refilling bowls and plates that the others, mainly the D. brothers, are emptying at rates that'd freak out any inexperienced cook. He can't help but do a little twirl as he clears his dear Robin's plate of crab shells, earning himself a brilliant smile that makes his heart flip. He happily sways as the goddess turns to Luffy, who's trying to stuff a whole lobster down his throat.

"By the way Luffy, according to Chopper the poison on the skin of that armored stonefish you caught would cover you in burning puss-filled blisters inside and out and slowly choke up your airway, leaving you to die a slow and painful death, so how did you come back alive without a scratch?" she asks, resting her chin on a delicate hand. Everyone except the D. brothers has to stop eating for a moment to clear the image.

"Oh, a woman passed by and sucked the poison from my mouth." the boy says with his mouth full of lobster meat. Sanji burns with envy. That damn lucky rubber idiot had a mysterious lady save his pathetic life by... k... k... kissing! Why him?! Why?! Sanji should've followed him when he invited! Luffy continues his story, oblivious to Sanji's murderous gaze.

"She said her name was... Reiko? No, Reika? No no no, Reily? No... I forgot, but you wouldn't believe it, she looks exactly like S-" Luffy's story is interrupted by the marimo stuffing a piece of fish in his mouth.

"Oi Luffy, try this. This is surprisingly pretty edible." the moss brain says.

"What do you mean surprisingly edible, you shitty moss? Are you not even capable of coming up with a decent compliment because your brain turned into moss too?" Sanji says, taking off some of his anger toward Luffy on the marimo.

"Who said I was trying to compliment your shitty cooking?"

"Whose cooking are you calling shitty?"

"Could the name be Reiju, perhaps?" the beautiful Robin directs the question toward Luffy with a smile, and the marimo promptly sends a glare her way. That shitty piece of algae, Sanji makes a mental note to kick some manners into him after dinner so that he won't ever glare at a lady again. There's a loud rattle as Ace's face hits his own plate followed by soft snoring a few moments later. Sanji walks over to lift his head and remove his plate so he's not breathing in his food scraps. This too is a regular occurrence, so the conversation continues without anyone making a fuss.

"Oh I've heard that name before. Poison Pink Vinsmoke Reiju. Rumors say she eats poisons as if they're snacks." Nami says from the other side of the table. Through his curtain of hair Sanji notices the marimo tenses.

"Pink? So she's like a superhero? That's so cool! Are there others too?" Chopper's eyes light up with a twinkle.

"Poison Pink? Vinsmoke? Why do I feel like it's a dangerous name?" Usopp puts down the crab he's working on to cover his ears as if trying to stop himself from hearing more.

"That's because they're _super_ infamous among the outlaws. Garuda Vinsmoke Judge and his daughter Poison Pink Vinsmoke Reiju. There are rumors of others in the family too, but none of them are confirmed. They're not real royalty, but because their family is the most powerful in the underground world, they act like they are. Even the police doesn't touch them for some reason." Franky explains to Usopp, who's now starting to shiver. The marimo is still not moving.

"S-so they're what, m-m-m-mafia?"

"Assassins, or at least that's what the rumors say. They're a _super_ secretive group. They assassinate anyone who learns too much about them, so not much is known." Franky continues. The marimo is still frozen. Sanji silently prays that he'd die from holding his breath for too long.

"AAAAHH! Stop talking Franky! Don't tell us any more! I don't want to know!" Usopp cries, hugging an equally frightened Chopper.

"I'm gonna get assassinated? I don't want to die! Luffy!" Chopper cries in return. Finally the marimo puts down his fork and leaves the table.

"Oi moss, where are you going? You still got food left on your plate. Don't waste food." Sanji warns. Like hell he's gonna let the asshole go through all his pet peeves and get away with it on the first day he moves in. He'd really break his shoulder this time, even if it means he'd have to make it up to Chopper afterwards.

"Getting some real booze. That shit tastes like piss. Is it even alcoholic?" the marimo says without a pause as he makes his way to the bar shelf. This man pisses him off more every minute. How was it possible that Sanji thought he could even be considered romantic a few days ago? As of this moment, Sanji happily declares to himself that he's fallen out of love for the first time in his life. In fact he's a little ashamed to admit that he was in love at all with the moss ball, and he's a firm believer that one should never be ashamed of love.

Of course Sanji's been in love before, hundreds of times in fact. He might not know much about relationships, but he considers himself an expert on love. If he tries he's sure he can write a book on falling in love. The way his heart tightens and then swells at the thought of the person, the way soft melodies always find their way to his lips, the way his taste buds gravitate toward sweet things, the way the world seems to glow with a gentle haze around him, to say he knows the symptoms by heart might be an understatement. This is the first time it has happened with a man, but that shouldn't matter. You love who you love. What makes the difference is that this is also the first time it happened with an asshole. To think he was secretly thrilled when he recognized the apartment door the D. brothers were knocking on, and it didn't even take 3 hours before the moss ball cures him of the love-sickness himself.

"You picked a hard nut to crack there sweetie. He said he doesn't believe in love." Ace's voice startles Sanji from his thoughts. He turns and finds the freckled man smiling at him, pointing his fork in the direction of the bar counter, where the moss ball is now sitting by himself drinking from a bottle that looks like the one they shared a few nights ago.

"The hell should I care? Good to see you awake again by the way. Finish the moss ball's food if Luffy doesn't get to it." Sanji lights himself a cigarette. Maybe he should get started on the dishes while there's still enough food on the table to last a little longer. He turns to the kitchen.

"Wait, don't you run from me too! Tell me how you met him last time." Ace calls from behind him, and silence suddenly hangs over the table (except for the sound of Luffy stuffing food down his throat of course). It just so happens that Sanji would rather not remember the events of Friday night himself at the moment, let alone recounting them in front of such an audience, not that he'd be fine with telling just Ace either. He decides to act like he hasn't heard the request at all and starts to fill the sink with soapy water.

He can barely hear Nami's sweet voice starting up the chatter again over the running water. He strains his ears to hear what she's talking about but picks up only unintelligible sounds. His angel seems to be keeping her voice low on purpose, as if she's telling them a secret. He's tempted to turn off the water and pretend to wash dishes just to hear the conversation when Usopp joins him at the sink without a word.

"You're full?" Sanji asks. It's odd for Usopp to leave the party this early. Even when he's full, he's usually goofing off with Luffy and Chopper, or setting up a stage for his and Franky's personal concert, or telling tall tales of his adventures that almost everyone knows never happened.

"Yeah. I mean no. Just a topic I didn't want to listen to." the long nose mutters to the sink. Oh? So they're talking about Kaya? It doesn't seem possible that his Nami would be so insensitive as to bring up Kaya with Usopp around. - Not that Sanji would blame her if she did; she probably has her reasons. - But he can't think of anything else that might make Usopp this upset.

"You know, how you get over old love is by starting new ones." Sanji offers. Usopp gives him a confused look but quickly looks down again. When the long nose doesn't answer, he continues, "and how's your can't-look-Nami-in-the-eye disease healing up? You came with her today, right?" As ridiculous as it sounds, that was what Usopp said he was sick with when Sanji called to check up on him after taking his shift for two days straight. Sanji is absolutely sure it's just one of the long nose's usual lies to make himself seem popular, but according to Usopp, his angel Nami has gone and confessed that she has feelings for the liar and knows that he has feelings for her too. The story went even as far as the goddess Nami telling Usopp to stop hiding behind his heart breaking past with Kaya and to man up and do something for himself.

"Getting better I guess. I can look at her now, but she's still scary when she gives me the cold shoulder." Usopp sighs. He just sighs. No overly dramatic shivering and muttering about what kind of pain Nami can inflict on him, no unjustifiably smug laughs at beating Sanji to capturing a lady's heart, no exaggerated tales of how Nami might've broken down in tears begging him to return her feelings. Shit, it actually looks a little like he's telling the truth this time. Sanji bites the end of his cigarette as he feels a wave of jealousy wash over him for the second time today. He turns and grabs the long nose by the front of his brown t-shirt with his wet soapy hands.

"You shitty bastard, what dirty trick did you use to make my beautiful Nami fall for you?" Sanji yells in frustration as he shakes his friend mercilessly. He half expects the liar to return to his usual self and either shake in fear yelling "don't hurt me" or wipe his nose with his finger while wearing a smug grin and saying something about being gifted with natural charm, but the man does neither. Instead, he bats Sanji's hands away in annoyance.

"Knock it off. It's not funny. I'm literally losing hair over this you know." Usopp says, shooting him a glance before going back to staring at the sink. Sanji leans back on the counter and gives the out-of-character man a studying look. Of course, the guy whose love life is turning out perfectly would be the one mulling over what to do next. He turns to the fridge to grab Nami's caramel pudding, one of the only two servings that are garnished with fruits, whipped cream, and cookies.

"Here, I'll offer this only once. You can serve her dessert today if you want to." Sanji sets the dessert down carefully on his serving platter before sliding the platter down the counter to Usopp. The long nose hesitantly reaches for the platter when Franky's obnoxious wailing echoes throughout the apartment over the sound of Chopper fussing over the amount of alcohol the marimo is allowed to have.

"I'm not crying, you stupid! Dammit, such a good story. I fucking love you guys!" Franky whips out a handkerchief and blows his nose loudly. That's strange. It's not like Franky didn't know about Kaya before. He's Usopp's employer after all. He was the one who spent the most time comforting the long nose when it happened. While Sanji's working his brain trying to make sense of what he's seeing, Franky's handkerchief is quickly replaced with a guitar. He gives the guitar an energetic strum and clears his throat.

"Listen guys, I've just come up with a new song. It's called 'Fated ... OW!" Nami shuts him up by whacking him on the head before he can finish shouting the title. The boys start a round of whiny protests, but it becomes a round of apologies instead when each of them receives another whack on the head.

"Hey Usopp, what were they talking about when you came into the kitchen?" Sanji asks. Now he's sure it wasn't Kaya.

"Don't worry about the details." Usopp says as he pulls on a face of determination and picks up the platter.

* * *

Sanji is relieved to see his sweet Nami a little less snappy toward the end of the evening, not that "snappy" is ever accurate when used to describe something as beautiful as a lady like Nami. Usopp is giving her a ride home after a couple more threats from Sanji about making her cry, not that she'd ever let Sanji see or hear her crying though. Sanji knows as well as any of the older members of the group that Nami is a brave and self-reliant young woman who spent almost half of her life fighting a group of thugs all on her own after they killed her foster mother in front of her and took her foster sister as hostage to force her to work for them. She won't show her tears for something as silly as Usopp being a wuss, which can be easily fixed with a bit of ass kicking on most days.

Everyone has left the apartment, some more reluctantly than others, except for Sanji and his new mossy landlord. Clean up is done, so Sanji's now relaxing in front of that gorgeously large living room window looking out to the sea. He hasn't seen the whole apartment yet, but this will probably be his favourite spot after the kitchen. He pulls out his pre-bedtime cigarette and is about to light it when he catches sight of the small paper ball rolling out of his pant pocket onto the floor.

"Thanks for the reminder." he hums as he hesitantly grabs and opens it again. It's the note he left for the moss head after their night together. He found it in the garbage can when he showed up today. It goes to show how welcome he really is here. Maybe he should be thankful that he's not kicked out as soon as Ace and Luffy leave. He runs his thumb over his own handwriting before lighting the note on fire and lighting his cigarette with its flame. He sets the burning note down on the saucer he's using as his ashtray and watches the flame, blowing on it gently to make it dance in the dark living room before it dies. If only flames ever show up this beautifully on videos too, he'd record it and show it to Ace. The freckles would love it. In the window's reflection he sees the marimo coming and sitting beside him, so he busies himself with the task of studying the lingering smoulder among the ashes.

"Sorry." is all he says after a long pause, looking straight through the window. Sanji studies the man. What does that mean? Sorry but he has to leave after all?

"For what?" he asks cautiously.

"Telling you that you can't stay here earlier." Sanji muffles a sigh of relief, all offenses instantly forgiven. The marimo's manners are still shit, but maybe that's the only way the guy knows how to apologize.

"So why did you say that?"

"You heard Luffy."

"As if that piece of rubber's explanations ever makes sense." Sanji snorts, prompting a faint twitch on the corner of the marimo's mouth that might or might not be an indication of amusement.

"I can't tell you." the marimo answers, and Sanji feels his good mood snaps in irritation.

"Then just don't apologize! What's the point?" Sanji hisses. Silence. Sanji sucks sharply on the cigarette. He can take a guess at why the moss ball didn't want him here. The crumpled up note is a good hint.

"We can pretend Friday never happened." Sanji offers. Maybe it'll be easier this way. It was only a random hook up anyway. They really were just strangers. It's not like Sanji was expecting it to ever happen again...

"If that's what you want, I don't mind."

"What do you mean if that's what I want? Isn't that why you're uncomfortable with the idea of me living here?"

"No, of course not. Why would I need to lie to myself about what I've done to be comfortable? Look, I had my reasons to think it's a bad idea for you to live here, but Luffy changed my mind, so just let it go, cook." the man says. Sanji's heart tightens then swells despite himself at the new nickname. The view through the window seems to become a little brighter but a little hazed. A dopey smile creeps up his lips. He knows he won't be able to fight off that smile even if he tries, and if he stops to think about it, it'd probably frustrate him how quickly he's changed his mind again. But he's not trying at the moment, nor is he spending any time on thinking. There's something more important at hand. He's fallen back in love.

"What's your family name?" the moss head asks, still staring through the window. So that's all he's getting in the department of apologies?

"What is this, a background check?"

"No. It's fine if you don't want to tell me." Sanji sighs at the lack of insistence. Talking to the man feels so frustrating sometimes.

"Kuroashi. Kuroashi Sanji. I'll be intruding for the next month, so let's get along, shitty marimo." That's close enough of a family name to him for all purposes, so he's not lying.

"Roronoa Zoro. Make yourself at home, shit cook."

"I'm a chef, you idiot moss."

"Whatever you say, _love cook_." the marimo stresses the nickname on purpose. Sanji rolls his eyes.

"I'll buy groceries and cook as my rent while I'm here, so I ask that you be grateful and follow a few simple rules. Number one, you show up for three square meals a day. Just let me know when you usually have them, and I'll work with your schedule. If you're going out and missing a meal, tell me ahead of time so I can make you a lunch box -"

"Wait a minute, I'm not taking a lunch box anywhere, and I don't eat breakfast." the moss ball protests.

"You will now. If I'm going out and missing a meal I'll prepare something before I leave. I'll keep it either in the oven to keep warm or in the fridge for you to reheat later, which brings us to the next rule." He draws on his half spent cigarette and exhales before continuing.

"Number two, don't waste food. You will finish everything I make for you without leaving a piece of scrap. Number three, don't touch anything in the kitchen without permission, the exceptions being cups and drinks. You break any of these rules, I break your face." although the thought of breaking the mossy face would've been more appealing a few hours earlier.

"Tch, like you can. Wait until I get my swords back." the marimo snorts.

"Swords?"

"Yeah. I'm a swordsman. I was supposed to get them back today, until you made Chopper freak out over my stupid shoulder wound again. Now I have to wait another week."

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. Chopper was really mad at me. I feel like I should apologize to him instead."

"Don't worry. Chopper always makes it a bigger deal than it is." Sanji laughs. That's true, and it always makes Sanji feel a little bit guilty thinking how funny the young doctor sounds when he's freaking out over just flesh wounds. The grass head sure knows the boy pretty well for someone who's new to the group. Through his curtain of hair Sanji sees the man lean back on his arms and relax at the sound of the blond's laughter, a small soft smile pulls at the corner of the man's thin lips. They sit in silent amusement for a few moments before Sanji remembers what he wanted to ask since he arrived.

"Do you have a set of keys for me?"

"No. I don't go out much. Just use mine."

"What? How's that gonna work when you suddenly want to go out and I'm not home?"

"I won't, as long as you follow your curfew." the man smirks.

"I'm not following a fucking curfew you lazy bastard! Just go get another copy of the keys made, or give them to me and I'll do it!"

"This is not my apartment. I can't do that." Oh, right. Sanji figures that's fair.

"Is that why you didn't want me staying here? I mean is the owner gonna be OK with me staying?"

"They won't know if you follow the curfew." A surge of guilt courses through Sanji's body. So he's causing inconveniences by staying here too. Of course. These are all people's homes. Nobody wants to share that with someone who doesn't belong there.

"OK, so what kind of curfew are we talking about?" Sanji asks, speaking in a lower voice than before.

"Be in the apartment between midnight and sunrise."

"You go out during those hours? What for?"

"Work." the man says. Sanji can tell he's being intentionally vague, so he doesn't press for more details. Maybe he really is a member of those biker gangs and has his gang duties during the night. It's none of Sanji's business though. The guy's nice enough to let him live here. It doesn't mean he's nice enough to share his life too. He checks his phone for the time. It's almost 12 now.

"You have to work today?" he asks.

"No," the moss answers with an inflection that implies he's not done talking, but the silence keeps stretching. Sanji turns to look at the man and finds him staring back with an almost comical look of concentration, as if he's trying to read the blond's thoughts by sheer will power. Sanji would laugh at his expression, but something else catches his attention. seven or eight small fuzzy black balls that could pass as flies or spiders are suspended in mid air in a neat horizontal line between the two men. He knows they're not flies or spiders though because they are so still it's as if they were painted onto an invisible glass wall between them with a marker. Sanji squints at them, but still look out of focus. He raises his hand over the hair-covered eye to block it more securely. Still blurry. The moss head doesn't seem to notice them though. Sanji hears him talking again just as the blond reaches out to try to touch them.

"So..." the marimo starts but hesitates again. Instantly the left most black ball disappears, and the rest of them shuffle around to space themselves evenly and become stationary again. Now he can tell that they are all the same height, but some are longer than others, making them look more oval. Sanji puts a finger through one of the balls, but touches only air, as if they're just from an optical illusion or a light projector.

"What are you doing?" his new landlord asks. The balls disappear without a trace.

"You didn't see those?" Sanji lets his gaze hover where the black balls were but sees nothing.

"See what? You probably need both of your eyes for them to function properly, shit cook."

"Never mind. Don't tell me how to use my eyes, shitty moss. You don't know what you're talking about." Sanji turns back to the view through the window. "What did you want to ask?"

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" the marimo finishes his question. The guy has some nerves to come to that conclusion with the shitty apology he gave earlier. Sanji might've forgiven him in the privacy of his mind, but that doesn't mean he has to let the shitty moss off the hook so easily.

"You don't have to answer." the moss ball quickly adds, looking away with a seemingly annoyed expression. Right, this again. Sanji takes one last satisfying draw from his cigarette before stubbing it out on the saucer. He rests his eyes on the calm waters in the distance.

"Since I'm such an awesome human being, I wouldn't mind forgiving you if you let me watch the sunrise by the water one of these days. It's..." Sanji deliberately pauses to turn and raise his visible eyebrow at the marimo before continuing, "against my curfew you see." he loads his voice with as much sarcasm as he can to make sure the grass head bastard doesn't miss it, and it makes him want to laugh when the man grunts and stands up to leave. What, is he offended?

"You take the bedroom." the man says before disappearing down the hall way.

* * *

The marimo has been surprisingly compliant with Sanji's rules without much of a fight other than the initial bitching about the need for breakfast. Then again, any ungrateful bastard who dares to skip meals even after eating Sanji's cooking will be shown no mercy while the cook rearranges their face. On the other hand, Sanji has also kept to his curfew. He had to apologize profoundly to his sweet Nami for not being able to take on any more closing shifts, but also to his surprise, Nami only patted his back and said "I see." instead of telling him how she'd be troubled by it.

It's now been a week since Sanji moved into the apartment, and he's already fairly familiar with the marimo's schedules. The moss head's life is pretty predictable. He wakes up at 8am, meditates, has breakfast, then weight trains, takes morning nap, and wakes up at 1pm for lunch. Then he meditates some more, naps again, weight trains, and has dinner at 7. After dinner it's mainly just sitting by the window with a bottle of booze until bedtime. The moss ball's ability to hold liquor is probably out of this world. Despite gulping down stuff like whisky for hours every night, he's never shown the slightest hint of being drunk. Sanji would've joined him more often after dinner if he hasn't been working early dinner shift almost every day of the week for his dear Nami. Usopp hasn't called in sick again, but Sanji's been filling in for the cooks. There's been only one night where the marimo has left the place for "work" after midnight, and he didn't come back until breakfast the next morning.

So it comes as a complete surprise when Sanji comes home from work at 11pm finding the marimo all dressed and ready to leave. Even more surprisingly, the marimo stops him from taking off his shoes and tells him to come along. When he asks what's going on, the moss ball holds up the thin long bag he's been carrying over his shoulder.

"I got my swords back. I'm gonna celebrate. You coming?" Celebrations always sound good. Sanji puts some leftover food from the Tabbies in the fridge and follows the moss ball back out the apartment. He starts to regret his decision about two hours into the ride from the apartment to whatever destination they're aiming at. They have now passed the same park five times, and Sanji is starting to feel sleepy. It's been a long shift at work too.

"You know, if you'd just tell me where you're trying to go, maybe I'll be able to tell you how to get there, lost moss." he shouts in the man's ear over the wind, trying to stop himself from falling asleep and tipping off the back of the motorbike.

"I'm not lost, shit cook. It's not my fault the roads move. Just shut up and watch." he hears as he drifts off to sleep, trusting that the marimo will catch him if he starts to fall off. He keeps drifting in and out of sleep for what seems like hours, resting his helmet-less head on the warm wide back of the marimo's leather jacket. Whenever he's jolted awake by a bump on the road or a sharp turn, he checks that his hands are tangled securely in the strap of the bag on the marimo's lap to add a bit more friction to prevent himself from sliding off. He should really stay awake for the ride, but sitting back and watching a stubborn and hopelessly lost marimo find his way to a secret destination for hours in the middle of the night isn't exactly exciting. At long last, he feels the vibration from the engine stop, and the marimo rolls his shoulders to push Sanji off his back.

"Oi cook, wake up. We're here." It takes a few moments before his ears adjust to the low noise level without the roaring engine, so his nose notices it first, the smell of salty sea breeze. He snaps his eyes open but sees only black except for the strip of rocks in front of them made visible by the bike's headlight.

"Where are we?" he asks as his ears begin to pick up the sounds of gentle waves slapping flat rocks beside them. He lets go of the marimo's warm back and shivers as the chilly wind engulfs him.

"You said you wanna watch the sunrise by the waters, right?" the moss answers.

"Who the fuck goes to watch the sunrise at 11pm, you idiot moss?"

"It's past 4am now."

"You were lost for _five hours_?"

"Told you I'm not lost. I found the place didn't I? While you were sleeping too." Good thing it's too dark to see the marimo's face, or Sanji is sure he'd want to kick a smug grin or two off it.

"Are you even sure we can see the sunrise from here?"

"We won't know until we try."

"You're supposed to know _before_ you come here! If it's not facing the east you can't see the sunrise!"

"Shut up, prissy cook. We're here already, might as well wait and see." Sanji pulls out his lighter to ward off the darkness. In the dim light he can make out the wide and shallow stair-like rocks around them before they meet the water a few meters away. He picks one of the smoother rocks and sits down, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it when he hears the marimo taking a seat beside him. They sit in silence for a while, listening to the waves as Sanji sucks on his cigarette. The moss head digs around in his bag and shoves something at Sanji's arm in the dark. Sanji takes it in his hand and realizes that it's a bottle of alcohol. It's too dark to see exactly what kind it is, but knowing the marimo it's probably something strong like whisky or vodka or that rice wine stuff.

"No cups, you classless marimo?"

"Not like we'll leave any of it till tomorrow." Good point. He opens it and gives it a sip, hissing as it burns his throat. Immediately his shivering stops, and the wind feels more refreshing than freezing. Damn, the shitty moss really can be romantic when he tries. Did he go through this much trouble just to fulfill something the blond mentioned as a passing joke?

"I'm a mood reader." the moss head starts when there's barely enough light to see the blurry outline of the horizon. Sanji turns his head at the claim, trying to make out the expression on the man's face in the dim light of the slowly paling morning sky over the water. What does that even mean?

"One of my eyes can see people's moods as a layer of colour around their bodies. It's not that uncommon. Nami and Robin probably have it too. You can tell from how they can read your mind sometimes."

"Bullshit. They're just smart, besides being beautiful and kind. I'd know if they have some freaky eye power like that. They'd tell me." Sanji argues, but the man ignores him and grabs the bottle from his hand instead.

"Your turn, cook. Why do you always hide one of your eyes?" he demands, taking a big swig from the bottle. Oh, so they're doing some kind of exchange of secrets here? He draws a breath from his cigarette and considers the question. It's not a secret anyway.

"My eyes don't focus properly when I use both at the same time. It gives me a headache, so I block one and use the other." he pauses and considers if he should tell the man about his eyebrows too. His friends from the group all know about it because he switches sides from time to time, so that's not a secret either. He takes a deep breath to steady himself and lifts his bangs for the man to see. "That, and my eyebrows are weird. I think I have two right eyes that belonged to two different people who hated each other." he chuckles at himself before lifting his eyes to look at the man, letting his bangs fall back over his face.

The man's outstretched hand lifts the bangs again as soon as the tip of his hair touches his face. Sanji stills in shock, feeling the heat of the hand seep through the skin on his forehead. It's now just bright enough for Sanji to see the intense steel grey eyes studying his eyebrows, no, his eyes. He's about to slap the marimo's hand away and swear up a storm telling him to keep his hands to himself when it happens again. Four blurry black balls of slightly different sizes hover in mid air between them. This time they grow slightly clearer, and Sanji recognizes them as handwritten words. The left most one is short, a two- or three-letter word maybe, an "In" or an "Ice"? The one on the right is loopy, with a tail that looks like somebody tied a bow to the end. It's Sanji's own handwriting, but why? He barely has enough time to decipher the last word as "cook" when the marimo speaks again.

"I'm..." the moss whispers, barely audible, as if he's speaking to himself. The left most word disappears with a silent pop, and the other three shuffle to fill the space. Sanji's eyes snap to meet the marimo's steel grey ones. Shit. These are his thoughts! But how? Before he can make more sense of what's happening, the hand on his forehead is gone, and the moss is back to drinking his booze to the soothing waves. Sanji rubs both of his eyes with his knuckles and rests his gaze on the now clearly visible horizon. He silently tries to gather his thoughts.

"You said... your eyes can..." Sanji starts talking before he knows what he wants to say, and the thought dies on his tongue.

"Yeah, and you too." the man answers. Sanji lets his mouth hang half open while he scrambles to pull together a coherent question in his head. "It might not be the exact same as mine, but you have a power too. You probably don't know about it because your power hasn't awaken yet, but your eyes have that shimmer that only eye power users have. Usually it's hard to tell just by looking, but your eye colour's light, so it's obvious." The marimo turns to face the blond and pulls down one of his bottom eyelids with a finger as an invitation for Sanji to take a closer look. Sanji reaches out with both hands to steady the moss head and moves closer to examine both eyes in the semi-darkness. It's true. His right eye is a smooth steel grey while his left one seems to have a thin layer of the finest glitter dust sprayed over it. Four black shapes quickly form between their faces and come into focus before Sanji's eyes in his own curly handwriting.

 _Too close, idiot cook!_

Sanji lets go and pulls himself back with a jerk, and the words disappear again. He stubs out his spent cigarette and takes a deep breath. He should tell the marimo. Reading people's thoughts without permission is bad. Not that it'd be unfair though, considering how the marimo's been reading his mood the whole time without telling him. But he's just the better one of the two men.

"Hey shitty moss, just so you know, I think my eyes just started working. I can read your thoughts when you stare me in the eye like that, and since I'm more decent as a human being than you, I'm letting you know first." There's a pause where all he hears is the waves, and Sanji sincerely wishes that the marimo is feeling the guilt. It'd be even better if the moss brain can guess what he's thinking now from the mood colour that he's no doubt reading.

"Sorry." the man says. Ah, that feels better, but he's not done yet.

"If you want to apologize you can start by telling me exactly why you wanted to know my sob story when we first met." Sanji probably doesn't want to know, but he asks anyway and pulls the bottle back into his own hand. At first the moss head remains silent while Sanji thinks he'll deny it or refuse to disclose the reasons, but then he starts talking.

He talks about his childhood friend, a girl from the dojo next to his orphanage. He talks about her strength, her dream, her insecurities, and her death. He talks about her mood colour, the first one that he ever saw, the one that still haunts him. He talks about his careless words in her moment of weakness and the promise they shared that he's not sure about anymore. He talks about having her sword and her dream entrusted to him and having doubts about her death. He talks about visiting her grave every year with the what-ifs running through his head. Then, he talks about Sanji's mood colour the first time they met, the night he came back from her grave.

Sanji listens without a word, and when the man is done, he pulls out a new cigarette and allows himself a moment of disappointment before lighting it. So that day when the man invited him home, it wasn't because he was physically attractive, nor was it because the moss head enjoyed his company, neither was it because of some kind of fated connection the two of them shared, like he's starting to convince himself lately. Even today probably wasn't the romantic apology he thought it was but another attempt to get him to spill his story. The man did none of these things for him. All of these things were for the sake of a long lost friend. If Sanji didn't happen to be in the same shitty mood as a girl in the man's memories on the day he was remembering her, the marimo wouldn't even have spared him a second glance, let alone going through all this trouble to dig out his problems.

It's more than just disappointing though. It's infuriating how messed up this man's thought process is. Sanji shouldn't be this upset. He knows that the man, Zoro, his new nakama and roommate of one week, wasn't trying to hurt him. He probably means well, and he probably just hasn't thought it through. Fuck, he probably hasn't thought about it at all, just followed his shitty instinct and ended up in a shit hole he dug himself. But being dumb is not really an offense. Sanji knows that people who mean well are hard to come by, that he should appreciate them regardless of whether he likes the results.

Before Sanji can let his inner voice of reason patch up his snapped patience, he finds himself standing up and winding back a leg, packing all his anger into a single side kick aimed at the man's newly healed shoulder. He expects to send the man flying to the nearby rocks, but the man must have braced against his attack and only slides a meter or two before stopping and resuming his sitting posture, showing no intention of evading further attacks or fighting back.

"So, what exactly were you trying to accomplish?" Sanji hears his own voice.

 _No. Stop._

"Suppose you dig out my trash and fix it, then what?" the voice continues.

 _Don't pick at his wounds._

"You go back in time and fix hers too?"

 _You have no right._

"Or do you tell yourself for the rest of your life that it's all your fault that she died because you could've fixed it for her like you did for me?"

 _You have no idea what he went through._

"Or were you hoping you'd find that you can't fix my problem either, have me spill it all and give me the 'I'm so sorry for you, but I can't help' bullshit?"

 _It's not his fault._

"And did it ever cross your shitty mind that we're different people with different problems, and the fact that we were in the same mood means JACK SHIT?" his voice screeches.

 _Stop. Just stop._

Finally his voice stops shouting. He finds himself panting, and his hands are shaking in rage. He accidentally drops his newly lit cigarette into the water that's closing in on them from the coming high tide, so he reaches for the bottle by his legs and takes a mouthful without considerations for the burn on his throat. His throat retaliates with a coughing fit.

"Say something, shithead." he says when the coughing ends.

"Sorry." the man says to the waves.

Sanji sits down with a huff. He must've at least fractured a bone or two with that kick. That's good enough. He lights another cigarette and looks over the water at the now pale blue sky. It's almost as bright as day now, and still no hint of where the sun will be rising. It's more than likely the dumb marimo picked the wrong beach.

"If" Sanji pauses. As angry as he is right now with that malfunctioning moss brain, this is still a problem the marimo spent a large chunck of his life mulling over. It needs to be treated with care. "If it wasn't the sword, if she died in a car accident or something simple like that, would you still be this hung up on it?" The moss remains silent.

"If you didn't see her mood colour at all, would you still doubt whether she meant her promise to you?" The moss shifts slightly.

"If you didn't that promise, if you didn't have her dream entrusted to you, would you still be fighting to be the best?" Sanji presses once more, and the moss snaps.

"It doesn't matter. That's not what happened." the man says, his voice bitter.

"Then why does it matter if you could've done anything differently? What happened already happened. Let it go, Zoro." Sanji rolls the name around on his tongue. It's the first time he's used it because it just doesn't feel right using a nickname at a time like this. "Do you fight for her promise's sake, or do you fight for yourself?" The moss is silent again. Sanji lets the silence stretch and busies himself with his cigarette.

"When I was around 6 years old, I was locked up in a dungeon cell, given no food and only a glass of water a day." Sanji passes the bottle and starts after a while, finding that he doesn't mind sharing his past nearly as much as he thought he would. It's not that his story would give the dumb moss any insight to his own problems, regardless of what that piece of algae believes, but Sanji feels he should return the gesture of sharing as a token of trust.

"It's the earliest memory I have. I didn't know who put me there, why I was in there, or how long they wanted to keep me there. All I could see was the daylight passing through a small barred window that was too high for me to reach, and all I could hear was the waves washing up against a nearby shore. I think I counted somewhere up to 50 days before someone let me out. I don't even remember who it was. Maybe one of the guards took pity on me, who knows? I certainly wasn't under the impression that I had anyone looking for me or trying to break me out while I was in there." he chuckles to himself, focusing his mind on the horizon he sees before him. He's out here now. There's wind. He can see and touch the waves. He can turn and walk away if he wants to, and he can get food. He takes a deep draw from his cigarette.

"I probably didn't make it very far before passing out on the road, and I would've died right there if it wasn't for Zeff. He took me in, fed me, clothed me, gave me a place to sleep and a place to work in his restaurant, taught me how to cook and how to fight. Then after doing all that for me on his own for ten years, he had to protect me from all the bullshit that people who claim to be my birth parents keep bringing to our door. They found out where I was when I turned 16, and they decided that they wanted me back, so they tried every underhanded method under the sun. They tried to frame Zeff as my kidnapper. They tried to kidnap me themselves. They tried to drive us out of business. They tried to burn down the place altogether.

"With me being the hotheaded weakling that I am, Zeff and the other cooks always shoved me behind them to shield me from everything. They still do, and that's when I get sent here, out of harm's way and far enough that I can't make problems worse for them. If only I wasn't so useless and can find out who my biological father is, I'd make him regret ever giving birth to me. But I can't even do that much." Guilt, frustration, helplessness. Sanji finds himself pinching the almost spent cigarette between his tightly fisted fingers.

"That restaurant, the Baratie, was the old man's dream. He and some of the cooks worked their whole life for it to get to where it is today, and they risk it all time after time just for the mess I bring from my past. Sometimes I wonder if it's better for those bastards to succeed kidnapping me for once, or accidentally killing me, or for me to die on the road before Zeff could drive by and pick me up. Their lives would be so much easier th-"

A punch sends the blond crashing roughly onto one of the rocks before he finishes talking. He pushes himself back up and finds the man standing and glaring at him in rage, his once again injured arm trembling slightly, his hands in fists.

"They keep risking everything to protect you because you're precious to them, shit cook. What the fuck do you think you're doing giving up so easily when they're still fighting? If you're weak then train and become stronger. If you -" the man suddenly stops with a shocked expression. Around ten black shapes quickly form between them, but before Sanji can read what they say, the man turns his head to the side in a snap, and they were gone.

"Even if you can't find the culprits, there must be things you can do to protect them. They're your real family after all." the man finishes in a lower voice before gulping down the remaining content of the bottle. Sanji watches him for a moment, tosses aside another ruined cigarette, and lights a new one. Dammit, the stupid marimo looks so cool when he's not being stupid, but still not as cool as Sanji himself of course, or at least not on most days.

"Thanks, marimo. I really needed that." Sanji draws another breath from the calming stick, feeling a familiar warmth on his hair as the sun rises above the small houses from behind them. "And for the record, this is west. Take me here next time when I want to see the sunset instead." He pulls out his phone to make a call and notices that it's now 7am. This sucks. Breakfast will be late.

"What are you doing?" the marimo asks.

"Calling a cab. It doesn't look like you can drive after that," Sanji gestures to the bottle, "not to say you could before, considering how lost we were."

"Tch, you wuss. That wasn't even one bottle. I'm ready to go anytime."

"Don't be a dick and make this difficult, shithead. I have a long lost mother to meet after I get your injured, drunk, directionless ass home." Sanji hardens his resolve at the thought. All fogs seem to be lifted. No matter what Zeff says this time, he won't be backing out.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Yes I know, it's nearly impossible to fall asleep on the back of a motorbike, but if Sanji stays awake they'd never make it to that "sunrise spot". :P One day when I finish the entire story and feel like fixing things, I'll go back to the beginning and change Zoro's vehicle to a car so Sanji can sleep more comfortably. For now, just... pretend it works.**

 **And... for the tiny bit of UsoNa... I don't have strong feelings about any pairing besides ZoSan, so for now all pairings are according to the initial groups they find themselves in when they reunite on Sabaody after two years. There won't be much besides ZoSan in this story.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

 **Sorry I lied. One more chapter of drama before we get to romance. It's coming. I promise!**

 **I finally managed to finish writing Chapter 6 just yesterday, but I can't edit and post it unless I get most of Chapter 7 written down because I tend to make a lot of changes to the previous chapter while writing the next one. That means this is probably the last weekly update unless Chapter 7 is miraculously easy to write. (Most of them took me 2-3 weeks each, but Chapter 6 took me a month.) So... don't forget me while I'm gone? :D**

 **Spoiler warning for even more of Sanji's family situation.**

 **More notes at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 5**

Zoro should be in a good mood. He got his swords back in his haramaki, came off clean to his new blond roommate about his mood reading ability, and even got the shit cook to trust him enough to share his own story too. Zoro almost spilled the whole bag of beans right there and told the cook who his biological family is in his sleep deprived, alcohol laden, and rage induced stupidity. It was a close call. If the blond stumbles across it on his own then fine, but Zoro's already made up his mind to keep the little prince out of this mess for as long as possible. He's made no progress on his Kuina problem, but at least the cook's mood colour is looking much healthier. It's now flickering in a passionate red, a colour quite familiar to Zoro.

It's the colour Luffy wore when he bowed his head and begged for a doctor to see Nami. It's the colour Nami wore when she jumped into water to save Zoro in front of the whole gang of her sister's captors. It's the colour Chopper wore when he stood to defend the late Dr. Hiluluk's flag. It's the colour Robin wore when she told Luffy not to come looking after her when she was captured by government spies. It's the colour Usopp wore when he challenged Luffy to a duel knowing he had no chance of winning.

But why did Usopp do that? An image keeps creeping into Zoro's dreams lately, an image of an enraged Usopp holding Luffy by the front of his usual red buttoned shirt, yelling that he's misjudged Luffy, that he didn't think Luffy was the type to abandon his nakama. That doesn't make any sense, but Zoro's sure he actually watched that scene unfold before.

Anyway, the point is that the colour the love cook is wearing right now is the one Zoro has been associating with people he likes and trusts for a long time. It's a colour that makes it almost impossible for Zoro to dislike its owner, regardless of how annoying the owner is.

Almost, so Zoro is not in as good a mood as he should be.

"I can't believe it. Of the 12 beaches you can get to by bike, you had to pick the only one where you can't see the sunrise. I have to admire your gift in the field of finding your way, marimo." the blond snorts. He's having so much fun with this that the sneering yellow is radiating in waves, threatening to take over the red.

"Shut up, shit cook. It's not like you helped." Zoro tries to ignore him completely, or at least not look at his annoying form, as he presses the button for the elevator.

"I was trying to help. If you'd just let me know you were trying to find a place to watch the sunrise in those 5 hours when you were wandering around the city aimlessly, we wouldn't've waited 3 more hours for nothing, stubborn moss." the cook walks into the open elevator and gives Zoro a mocking glare. Zoro would kill for a method to shut this cheeky blond up right now.

No, Zoro has a method to shut him up right now, or his instinct has one for him, which he doesn't agree with. He rarely disagrees with his instinct because it's usually right, but this time he's been at war with his instinct for over a week already. He hasn't had a single successful meditation session for the past week because every time he sits down to clear his mind, his instinct would blast images of its idea at him until he gives up meditating. He hasn't given in yet. His instinct just can't be right this time because no matter how well that colour suits the blond, and no matter how much that mouth needs to be shut, pulling him in by the tie and kissing him senseless cannot possibly be the right course of action.

He checks again. Yes, it's his instinct and not his sex drive, which is odd because going a week without proper meditation should throw his sex drive out of control already, but it's not acting up at all. That, too, makes no sense.

"Oi shithead, are you even listening? Geez, why do I bother?" the blond pulls roughly at the collar of Zoro's shirt, their faces inches from each other. With his eyes Zoro proudly traces the bruise breaking out under the curtain of hair from his punch earlier and wonders if it's worth a try to find out what his instinct is up to this whole time.

"I said you're going to see Chopper after breakfast to check your broken arm, do you hear me?" the cook yells in Zoro's face. Zoro's instinct takes advantage of his momentary curiosity and pulls the cook into a simple and steady kiss, just holding the two sets of slightly parted lips firmly together. Zoro releases the cook after a couple seconds and turns his focus inward, paying no attention to the reaction he's receiving.

 _So I did it. What now?_

No reply. Of course, when has his instinct ever answered a question or offered an explanation?

"I... thought you don't believe in love." he hears the blond speak in a slightly shaken voice. Where did he hear that from? Never mind. Must be Ace. He turns and finds the cook staring at him with an intense but unreadable expression. His mood is once again shifting through the colours of the rainbow faster than Zoro can possibly translate.

"I don't." It's true. Love doesn't exist. Zoro knows this because there's not a single mood colour, or even a pattern of mood colours, shared by all the people he knows who claim to be in love when they talk about their lovers. They're all talking about different things when they say "love".

"Then what-"

"It felt right. It's just a kiss." Zoro cuts him off. So this is what Ace meant by "sticky". Seriously, he's been with Ace of all people for all these years, and he still thinks you have to love someone to kiss them. Such... naivety. This is Zoro's instinct's fault, or his own. He's been weak enough to let his instinct take over again.

"Listen, I can't-" the cook starts again after a long pause. His voice might be even more shaken than before, but Zoro cuts him off again as he notices the light for the 20th floor lingers longer than it should. That's the floor where the family members' personal guards live. This can't be good if they see the blond talking to him. Scratch that. If they see the blond at all.

"Later, cook. We're on the wrong floor. Keep your head low, take the stairs, and get out of here. Run as fast as you can once you're out of sight." Zoro readies his swords as he feels the weightlessness that indicates the elevator is slowing to a stop on this floor. He holds his breath and waits for the bell, hoping that luck is on his side today, that the normally stubborn blond would listen to him this once, and that there'd be only one or two of the guards on the other side of the elevator door.

"At least tell me who we're fighting." the cook says, leisurely lighting a cigarette. Zoro has the urge to stop him from setting off the smoke alarm in the elevator, but he quickly remembers that a smoke alarm might work to their benefit.

"Guards. No fighting. Just get lost while I distract them." Zoro mutters as the door opens, and the cook gives a low snort.

"Yo, Zoro-" the smile quickly die on Saga's face as he spots the blond. He has his sword, but at least he's alone, and the fact that he's Zoro's guard and childhood friend should help.

"Hey, heading out? Or spying on me again?" Zoro returns the greeting, stepping closer to his guard to block his path, but Saga keeps glaring at the blond behind him. For a long moment, Zoro silently pleads that the idiot cook wouldn't do or say anything stupid, but to his relief, the blond casually walks around the two of them in big strides and heads for the stairs, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"Wait, isn't that-" Saga turns and draws his sword with clear killing intent. Zoro's blood freezes as he watches the blond stop in his track and turns to face Saga. He doesn't need to look at the mood colour to see the shock and anger written plainly on the visible half of his face. Fuck. He draws Wado and throws himself between the two of them.

"Cook, just go!" he shouts as he blocks Saga's attack with Wado and jams the sheath in Sanji's direction.

"Get out of my way shitty moss! You know me, you bastard? Who the fuck are you?" the blond bawls, kicking his sheath. Zoro winces at the thought of Wado's sheath being kicked, but he fixes his eyes on Saga.

"Go. I'll explain later. I promise." Zoro tries to calm the explosive blond with words. It's entirely possible it'll fail, but it's all he can do right now. When he doesn't hear a response, he hopes that it's because the blond is hesitating and not brewing more anger. Still, he keeps his eyes on Saga, making sure his guard knows he won't allow another attack.

"Please." he adds. The blond kicks his sheath once more before stomping down the stairs.

"What are you doing Zoro? You know who he is! You can't let him leave alive!" Saga asks. Fuck. This is not a good please to talk. He shoves Saga back into the elevator and presses for his floor again.

"Let him go. He has a family to go back to." Zoro says once safe inside his own apartment.

" _Your_ family will _kill_ you if they get their hands on him! Listen Zoro, you're the heir only in title right now, and as long as he exists, the family would want you dead to make way for him!"

"He doesn't even want to be the heir. Just don't let anyone know you saw him, and we're good." Zoro opens the fridge. Not that he's hungry, but the cook has his stupid rules about missing meals. Come to think of it, he has rules about touching stuff in the kitchen too. Well, then it's not his fault that he skips this meal.

"Zoro, he's _living here_?" Fuck. He forgot he shouldn't let Saga know about that. It must be pretty easy to figure out given how full the kitchen looks now.

"Relax. He's only staying for a month because he'd be homeless if he doesn't. I already told him not to go out at night. No one will know if you don't tell." Zoro turns and fixes his guard a glare. "And you're gonna promise you won't tell." He catches Saga's mood colour twisting in a strange mixture of dark red and blue instead of his usual teal, but only for a second.

"Of course I won't! You know I won't ever do anything that might put you in danger." Saga says, his mood snapping to that familiar passionate red. Despite working for the family, Saga is at least an honourable and trustworthy man. "But if you want both of you to stay alive, homeless might be a better place for him to be than here. What'd you do if you two ran into the dumbass duo's guards instead of me today? They'd be trying to kill you instead of him."

"They can't kill me even if they tried. So what did you come up here for anyway? You were going up, right?" Zoro tries to change the topic and hopefully get Saga to leave soon. The cook doesn't have the keys to get back in, and having him wander outside the building for more than a few minutes is not a good idea either.

"Not here. I was going to see Pink." Saga says and heads for the door. Perfect. If it's between Saga and Reiju, Zoro's not supposed to ask anyway. Reiju was the one who handled Zoro's adoption and assigned Saga as his guard, so she's like the guard's boss. He waves goodbye as Saga opens the door. "Don't let him stay any longer, Zoro. Move him out before anyone else finds out." his friend adds before closing the door behind him.

Zoro lets out a sigh of relief. He enjoys the company of his childhood friend only when they're not talking about the family or Kuina. He pulls out his phone to call the cook, but there's already a message from him.

 _There're leftovers from the Tabbies in the fridge. Heat it up and eat it for breakfast. I probably won't be back by lunch, so you're allowed to order take out this once. I called Chopper and said you'll stop by later. I'd better not find him worrying himself to death the day after he gives your swords back because you stood him up. And you'd better be ready to do some serious explaining when I get back tonight, shithead._ \- Sanji

So the cook has to know in the end. At least Zoro tried. Now whatever happens, he just hopes that Luffy's right this time, that they're really strong enough to pull through this mess. It sounds like the cook won't be back until night time. That gives him a bit of time to get a few things straight first. He feels slightly guilty, but Chopper will have to wait. Saga did say he was going to see Reiju, so maybe she's still busy.

 _You free? I want to talk. It'll probably take a while._ \- Green

The reply comes in a few minutes.

 _Come by in an hour._ \- Pink

Satisfied, Zoro clears his phone histories and eats his breakfast. He spends the hour cleaning and polishing his beloved swords for the first time in almost two weeks. There are muddy shoe marks on the sheath of Wado, which the shit cook will pay for when he gets back. Kitetsu feels even more restless than usual today, as if she's itching for some blood, but that might be because of Zoro's extended break from meditation that's weakened his mind. Maybe now he'll be able to meditate. He's given in and done what his instinct's been whining for him to do after all. He carefully sheathes Yubashiri and places her next to Wado and Kitetsu beside him on the floor.

He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, focusing on relaxing his body muscle by muscle from head to toe. Good. It looks like it might work this time. He starts to clear his thoughts, and immediately the constant but faint echo at the back of his mind becomes easily noticeable. He tries to ignore it and let it come and go freely.

The sound of dress shoes tapping against the wooden floor. The sound of a lighter clicking. The sound of chopping at expert speed. The smell of tobacco. The smell of floral shampoo. The smell of spices. The taste hot soup on a cold evening. The taste of shared booze in the dark. The taste of soft surprised lips. The feeling of suit jacket buttons digging into his back through a thin t-shirt. The feeling of a powerful sole pressing on his injured arm. The feeling of silky wet strands through his fingers.

"What the _fuck_ do you want?" Zoro jumps to his feet and barks at the empty room. Of course there's no answer. His instinct never gives answers. Zoro tucks his swords carefully into the side of his haramaki and puts away his polishing kit. This is getting ridiculous. He has to fix it soon. He has no idea how, but maybe this talk with Reiju will help. He's 5 minutes early. He can probably head over now.

Zoro makes his way to the apartment down the hall and knocks. He knows it's the right one. There are only two on this floor after all. This whole building belongs to the family, so when Zoro found out his new roommate for the month was the oblivious little prince, he had all the right to panic. Sanji's features make him easily recognizable to those who know the family members by face. Luckily for them though, the family's secretive enough that only a handful of people working for them know what they look like, and those few who know them only go out for "work" at night. Even Zoro, who's technically a family member, only sees Reiju, his next door neighbour and adoptive sister, no more than once or twice a year, and even less of other family members. If even Zoro had trouble recognizing the cook's connection to the family at first, they should be pretty safe.

"Master Yonji." Reiju's guard, Cosette, bows and greets him by his adoptive name as she opens the door. Franky's right in saying that the members of the family act like royalty. If Zoro hadn't thrown a fit about it when he was first adopted years ago, he'd have Saga serving him 24/7 too. It makes him sick. He happens to know this girl better than the other guards because she's the one who restocks the alcohol in his apartment once a month.

"It's rare that you want to talk to me. Are you finally warming up to your dear sister and coming for some family bonding time?" Reiju greets him from the dining room table with that fake smile she always wears. It seems to match her mood today though.

"Cut the crap. I don't have any family. Even if I did they'd not be in this building." Zoro makes his way into the apartment and finds that two sets of delicate tea cups and spoons are already laid out on the fancy white laced table cloth along with a matching tea pot and some desserts. He sits himself in front of the unclaimed cup and folds his arms, watching Cosette fill his cup for him. He'd prefer to do it himself, but he's learned over the years that he'd get the guards into trouble that way.

"Thank you, Cosette. Leave us alone for now." The guard bows and leaves the apartment at Reiju's command. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about Sanji." Zoro takes a deep breath and says. He didn't think anything about the family was relevant to him when he was adopted, so he never paid much attention when Reiju explained the adoption situation to him the first time. He just agreed because being part of the family would make tracking down Mihawk and getting him to accept Zoro's challenge easier. He vaguely remembers that he's adopted to replace someone who died at a young age.

"Oh? What do you want to know about him?" Reiju gently puts down her tea cup and looks at Zoro, still glowing yellow of amusement. She really does look just like the pervy cook. Silky blond hair covering half of her face, pale smooth skin, curly eyebrow that swirls in the opposite direction, shimmering blue eye that draws you in...

"Everything. Tell me from the start." Zoro breaks eye contact. He knows all the family members have eye powers, but he never bothered to remember who has what power. He's regretting that now.

"Hmm? Looks like you two are getting along quite well then." Zoro's blood runs cold. Did Saga...? No, that can't be. Zoro knows he was telling the truth when he said he won't tell anyone. Mood colours can't be faked like facial expressions. Unless Reiju's power can read minds? Reiju chuckles lightly behind her hand.

"Relax, boy. Don't make such a scary face. Your secret is safe with me. Unlike most of the family, I want both of you to live. You're both my baby brothers after all. But it's a good thing you don't socialize much. You're so easy to read even without using our gifts." Reiju smiles. Zoro keeps his mouth shut and his face neutral.

"I don't go out much, but I'm still your next door neighbour. I can hear his voice in the hallway. Sounds like he takes good care of you too, always telling you to eat your meals on time." Reiju continues to explain.

"So you're keeping watch on me." Zoro says, cursing himself for not warning the idiot cook of the dangers of being careless outside of the apartment. The cook doesn't know, so it's entirely Zoro's fault.

"No, I'm just paying attention to my surroundings." Reiju takes another sip from her cup. "How much has he told you about himself? Just so I know where to start."

"He doesn't remember much, just the fact that he was in a dungeon for a while." Zoro hesitates before answering. Telling her this much shouldn't matter.

"Sanji and Yonji were an experiment to strengthen the gifts in Vinsmoke offspring. Mother was an outsider who didn't have the Vinsmoke blood, so it was rare for them to have children with full gifts like me. Most of them end up like Ichiji and Niji, and you, where only one of your eyes has a gift."

"Wait, I don't have the Vinsmoke blood in me either."

"I was surprised too when I saw you in the orphanage. I've never heard of anyone outside of the family with gifts. That's why we decided to adopt you in place of Yonji who died from the experiment. Maybe you were an illegitimate child of one of our uncles or aunts?" Reiju chuckles softly behind her hand once more. For all Zoro knows it might be true, but it doesn't bother him in the slightest. His worth as a person has nothing to do with whose blood he carries or whether he was born outside of wedlock. His parents left him at the orphanage, so they have nothing to do with him anymore.

"What was the experiment?" he prompts, ready to move on with the story.

"The experiment began when Father found out Mother was pregnant with twins. He and his team of scientists managed to link the souls of the two boys while they were in the womb so that if one dies, his gift would transfer to the other." Reiju pauses. Her smile falls away, leaving an expressionless face. Her eyes are unfocused, and her hands are shaking just slightly, causing the cup in her grip to clatter against the saucer on the table. The upbeat yellow fades from her mood colour, taken over by a mix of dark red and purple. Zoro's seen this particular combination of colours only a couple times at most, and he hasn't quite figured out what it is yet. Something along the lines of hatred. But if there's no mood colour for love, surely there can't be one for hatred either. "The drug they used to connect the souls is poisonous to adults. Mother was dead before she could even give birth. The twins were taken from her dead body." Zoro swallows. How can a man do this to his wife?

"Father wanted to make sure that the stronger of the twins survives and obtains the full gift, so he trained them both rigorously as soon as they were able to walk. When they turned 6, a year or two before the estimated time of awakening of their gifts, they were put into separate dungeon cells for the last part of the experiment to see which of the two would last longer when deprived of necessities of life. The one who dies first would automatically have his gift transferred to the remaining twin." Reiju pauses again, idly twisting the spoon between her fingers for a minute or so.

"Father didn't trust the guards, so I was in charge of delivering the glass of water each of them gets everyday at noon. I was the one who found Yonji passed out on the floor, unresponsive. I called for the researchers, and while all the guards were distracted by the chaos on Yonji's side of the dungeon, I slipped Sanji out of his cell and told him to get as far away as possible. That was the last time I saw him until a decade later. Once Father found out that Sanji escaped, he tried to save Yonji so that if Sanji dies out there he'd still have a boy with the full gift, but Yonji died a few days later from malnutrition."

They sit in silence for a while, both deep in thought. Zoro remembers the look in the cook's blue eye when he began his story this morning, the way he seemed to be afraid to blink as he glued his gaze to the waves.

"He shouldn't have trusted you either." Zoro says under his breath. If what she's saying is true, Reiju might be a little different from the rest of the twisted family. Reiju gives no indication that she's heard Zoro's comment.

"Why?" he asks. "What's so good about having random abilities in both eyes that he'd go through this much trouble to get it?"

"Those with half gifts can only see things. Their powers are passive. Those with full gifts also have an active version of their power that comes with the passive. They can do things to their targets." Zoro narrows his eyes at Reiju curiously at the claim. Her power can do things? What kind of things? He breaks eye contact again as soon as he notices Reiju smiling back at him. Damn witch. She reminds Zoro of Nami and Robin combined. "Curious? That's too bad. I told you what our gifts were when I tried to teach you how to control yours. It's not my problem you weren't paying attention. But I'll at least tell you their limits again.

"Active powers only work on targets who have passive powers of their own, so they're only a threat to other family members. It's usually used by the head or the heir of the family to keep his relatives from trying to overthrow him. This is why we need an heir with the full gift in each generation. Oh, and having both active and passive powers makes your eyes unable to focus on the same object in everyday use, so this hair style runs in the family to reduce the headache. It seems Sanji figured that out all on his own." Reiju adds with a chuckle, brushing her curtain of hair covering one eye. "Of course, there are ones like Ichiji and Niji who keep their hair like this just to fit in too. What was it that you and your guard call him? 'Dumbass duo'? That fits them quite well." She chuckles again.

"Then why did the family adopt me, who has only passive power? Why didn't they just make you the heir?" Zoro asks. Reiju gives him a "are you stupid" look.

"It's because I'm a girl of course. Not only am I physically weaker, emotionally less stable, mentally inferior, and just plainly less intimidating as a leader." Reiju sneers, clearly not believing a single word she's saying. "Boys also happen to have a higher chance of passing on the genes responsible for our gifts. As for you, they were planning to run the experiment again once they figure out how to get around the problem of the drug being poisonous to adults. You were being kept as trial material. If they succeed in connecting your soul to either Ichiji's or Niji's, they'll kill you. If you die from the poison, they'd still have two they can play with. All of that was put on hold though when they found Sanji shortly after you were adopted. You should thank him. If it wasn't for him, the family wouldn't even have the time to find out that you're a much better fighter than the idiots and consider you as a potential heir instead of the two of them."

"Wouldn't a sex change be faster?" Zoro suggests, and he quickly comes to the conclusion that Reiju's power is not one that can kill its target directly. He is grateful.

"Why would I want to be heir to the man that killed my mother?" Reiju mutters after a death glare.

"Then why would the runaway idiot cook want to be heir to the family that messed him up?"

"Blame the fact that he was born a boy into the Vinsmoke family. It's just his fate."

"I don't believe in that crap. We make our own fate. He doesn't need to be dragged back into this shit hole." Zoro growls, but Reiju holds her gaze.

"Would you rather live as their lab rat than let the family make him the heir?"

"Like hell I'd live as anyone's lab rat. A rotten man like that father of yours doesn't need an heir." Zoro says as he silently readies his swords. If uttering such words to Reiju proves to be troublesome, he might have to cut his way out of the building today. He wouldn't regret his words though.

"Agreed." Reiju sighs, to Zoro's surprise. "Will you lend me a hand in taking him down?" She locks eyes with him. Zoro checks her mood colour. Red. At least she's telling the truth.

"Two more questions though before that. Who's been harassing the cook's restaurant?"

"Oh? So you know that much about him? You guys must be a lot closer than just roommates." Reiju smiles at him before continuing. "The pranks were done by Ichiji and Niji. I kept an eye on them to stop them from doing too much damage and to cover their tracks." Zoro gives a disapproving snort at the fact that the cook's sufferings over the years are being called pranks.

"And how did the family find him?" Zoro studies Reiju as her colour shifts to maroon of regret and disappointment mixed with light grey hesitance. Her eyes rest on Zoro as she seems to consider what to tell him.

"It... It was an accident." She says after a while. Zoro glares. That's not even an answer, but at least she's not lying.

"So you have a plan for taking the geezer down?" He holds out his hand.

"I try to figure out when he's routinely unguarded while you keep Sanji from getting involved with the family. When I'm done, I help you break into his room, and you kill him." Reiju shakes his hand in agreement of their alliance. The plan sounds simple enough except for the fact that the cook just resolved to protect his old man Zeff this morning, and Zoro has no idea where he is right now. Come to think of it, the blond was saying something about meeting his long lost mother.

"You said your mom died. Any idea why the little prince thinks he's gonna meet her today?"

"Ichiji and Niji hired an actress a couple weeks ago. They told her to camp at the restaurant for a month. Maybe Sanji's meeting her?" Reiju muses as her colour returns to the cheerful yellow. Before Zoro can figure out why he has a bad feeling about this, their phones ring at the same time. Zoro wrestles with his coat pocket as Reiju reads the message.

"Looks like you're stuck with me for the rest of the day." Reiju flashes Zoro another one of her perfect fake smiles. "Emergency family meeting tonight. Let's have lunch first so you can have your afternoon nap. I'll wake you up when we have to leave."

"Almost everyone lives in this building. Why can't we just have the meeting here?"

"The head of the family doesn't like to travel."

* * *

Zoro is definitely _not_ lost. Not a single shred of this whole situation is his fault. It's not his fault that Reiju, who's supposed to be leading the way, disappeared as soon as they entered the maze-like castle. It's not his fault that the conference room they hold these family meetings at has been moved since the last time he was here. It's definitely not his fault that the directions Saga gave him earlier in the car, the directions for the route from the front door to the conference room, just sucks. It says to turn left after going all the way up the main set of stairs. How is he supposed to know which set of stairs is the main one? He's passed about 7 of them now, and all of them moved since when he first saw them.

Now he sees no stairs anywhere in sight. It doesn't help that the hallways are all dark now since it's past dusk. Saga, being his personal guard, would've stuck with him and shown him the way if it wasn't for Reiju sending their guards upstairs first so she and Zoro can talk. So much for talking though since she and her voice vanished about 3 seconds after stepping into the castle.

Zoro stops his frantic running and pulls out his phone to check the time. He's already half an hour late. Maybe he should just wait outside for his ride back, but the front door moved too. Fuck. Well Saga did say to go all the way up the stairs, so the place should be on the top floor. Since no stairs are willing to come out of their hiding places for him at the time, he'll just have to get to the top floor his own way. He draws his swords.

 _Santoryu: Tatsu Maki._

Zoro sheathes his swords as he watches his tornado break its way through the floors above him. There. Now he has a way up. Through the newly constructed hole on the ceiling he can see that the next few floors are just as dark as the one he's currently on, but there is a bit of light coming from one of the top floors. He begins climbing the fallen pieces of stones to get to the next floor. As he comes closer to the light, he can see a circle of guards looking down the hole he made. These are the castle guards. Unlike their personal guards, these all have the exact same face and the same white mood colour that never changes. It always creeps him out seeing more than a couple of them at a time.

"Master Yonji!" they greet him using his adoptive name and reach out to help pull him up. As he stands up and straightens his clothes, he can make out voices from a room not far down the hall. It also seems to be where the light is from. He finally finds the place for the damn meeting.

"... back... son... Vinsmoke... low. I... also... training... " Zoro listens as he makes his way toward the room. The swarm of guards following him and the clicking of their boots on stone floor make it hard to pick up whole sentences, but he knows it's the twisted old head-of-the-family, Judge, talking. He hasn't been to that many of these meetings, but there's only one person who deliberately drags out the words to make them echo off the stone walls when he's talking. The sentences become more connected as the guards return to their posts in the hall way. Zoro is only a couple steps away from the open door when another voice cuts off the geezer and almost gives Zoro a heart attack.

"Shut it, shitty old fart." There's a click from a lighter, followed by the sound of exhaling. "I'm not here for that." Zoro rushes to the door only to catch a glimpse of a black shadow spinning in the middle of another swarm of their creepy guards, sending some of them in the air. Fuck. That idiot, did he get caught? Or did he find his way here himself? Zoro will need to get him out of here, and then they'll have to figure out if Reiju's brand new plan needs to be trashed now. Such a high maintenance little prince. He draws his swords and charges into the swarm.

Zoro slips his way through the crowd of identical guards, knocking out any that stand in his way with the back of his swords. As soon as the spinning cook comes into his reach, he holds up two swords in a block to stop one of the attacking legs. A sharp pain shoots up his recently fractured arm. Fuck. He thought he could sleep it off in the afternoon. The cook's furious red mood instantly switches to a doubtful dark grey when their eyes meet, and he visibly bites down on the filter of his newly lit cigarette. As soon as the cook stops attacking, the guards back off and form a circle around them as if trying not to cause any injuries to either of them. Zoro opens his mouth, but before he can start telling the cook to get out of here first and ask questions later, Judge talks over the chaos.

"Yonji, you're finally here! You've been trying to tear down my castle again by the sound of it? I'd like you to meet your brother, Sanji. He's been missing long before you joined the family, but now he has returned." Judge's voice rings in the room. Zoro glances around the room and sees all of the usual attendees to these meetings: Judge sits in the middle directly behind the cook, surrounded by yet another swarm of creepy guards. Reiju is seated on his... left? Or is it right? Her guard stands behind her. Beside her stands a worried looking Saga behind an empty chair for Zoro. The dumbass duo and their guards are on Judge's other side. For a meeting with so few people they always have a ridiculous number of guards present. It's the old geezer's style.

The cook takes the advantage of Zoro's distraction, winds back his free leg, and kicks Zoro hard in the side under his upheld arm. Zoro stumbles a few steps sideways and glares up at the now standing cook as Saga jumps in front of Zoro and points his sword at the cook. A few of the identical guards also make their way between Zoro and the blond. The cook is again silently shifting through colours at an alarming speed as he quickly burns down his cigarette. Confused grey, angry dark red, disappointed maroon, heart-broken dark blue, and finally, despairing ugly purple.

"Saga, it's OK. I can handle it." Zoro says quietly as he pushes Saga's sword away with one of his own. His guard gives him another doubtful look before reluctantly stepping aside. Zoro can tell he's staying close on purpose with his sword still drawn, ready to jump in if the cook attacks again.

The dumb blond cook is glaring at the retreating Saga instead of Zoro, making his freaky mind-reading ability completely useless at the one time when it'd actually be helpful. Zoro briefly considers just yelling at the cook to get out and wonders how bad it could be for everyone present to know that they know each other. He decides against it. If there's still any chance left for Reiju's plan, he doesn't want to ruin it if he doesn't have to. He silently thanks the fact that the cook knocked him sideways away from the door, instead of back towards it, and takes a few more slow steps to the side until the cook is directly between him and the door. He sheathes the two swords in his hands and takes Wado from his mouth.

 _Ittoryu: Sanjuroku Pound Ho_

He hasn't really sparred with the cook, but from the strength of his kicks and the fluidity in his movements Zoro guesses he's a seasoned fighter. This much shouldn't be able to hurt him. Zoro watches as the compressed air slash from his attack sends two of the nameless guards in the cook's direction, only to be stopped completely by an effortless kick from the cook. OK, so he needs to try harder. He draws all his swords again as the cook breaks into a sprint toward him.

 _Santoryu: Hyakuhachi Pound Ho_

The cook dodges one and deflects another of the three slashes flying at him, but the last one cuts through his expensive looking suit and maybe a bit of skin, sending him back a few steps. Zoro isn't any closer to his goal of getting the cook out of the room though since the blond is just back where he was before he started sprinting towards Zoro. At least now he's glaring at the swordsman, and Zoro takes the opportunity to run through what he wants to say to the cook in his head while keeping eye contact.

 _Cook, get out of here. Why did you come?_

He has no idea if the cook is reading his thoughts, and it doesn't help that one of the dumbass duo, the blue one to be exact, speaks as soon as he starts his attempt at telepathy.

"Stop it Winch Green, we all know he's a threat to your fragile status as the family heir, but that doesn't mean you get to try and slice him up as soon as he shows up here." Niji says mockingly, and Ichiji chuckles. The two always make a point to use his family code name instead of any real name. Not that it makes a difference what they call him though. He never listens to anything they have to say.

Zoro keeps his eyes fixed on the cook to look for signs that his attempted telepathy worked, and there it is. The cook's mood colour shifts to the familiar indigo of annoyance before being pushed out of the way by the bright yellow amusement, likely from hearing Zoro's nickname.

"Out of my way. I'm not here to see you," the cook answers, making it sound like a regular comment to the audience who doesn't know Zoro's question. "Winch Green." he adds with a smirk.

 _I'll kill you once we get out, shit cook._

The smirk on the cook's face works its way up to a grin. Good. This one way telepathy thing is working well.

"Yeah Green, keep your hands to yourself at least until the new heir's assigned his personal guard!" Ichiji sneers, and Niji chuckles. Zoro tunes them out again.

 _Listen, the ones harassing your restaurant are those two laughing idiots there, not the old man. And we have a plan in execution to deal with the geezer once and for all, so just get out of here before you ruin it._

The blond puts on a serious face but doesn't speak. Zoro takes it as a sign he's listening to, or rather, reading his advice. He continues.

 _Follow my lead._

The cook pulls a puzzled expression, but Zoro offers no further explanation. Instead, he sheathes Wado and turns his other two swords to attack with the back of the blades.

 _Nitoryu: Nigiri Maguma_

Zoro charges forward and jumps, throwing his entire weight at the cook above his swords. The cook blocks both swords with one leg but loses balance on his other leg, causing both of them to fly through the door and crash into the hallway wall. Perfect.

"Run. I'll chase you." Zoro whispers before the guards close in on them again.

"Yonji, stop attacking your brother." the two of them hear Judge's voice echo in the hall. The cook shoots Zoro a questioning look, and Zoro shrugs.

"I didn't hear that." he whispers again before giving the cook a push to encourage him to start running. As they make their jump down the hole Zoro made earlier, he hears Saga's voice calling him and ignores it as well. Less than a minute later, Zoro's already out of the castle and sprinting through the front garden after the cook.

"You do have a car or a bike here, right?" the cook asks as they run.

"No, I was hoping you do." Zoro overtakes him.

"I told you I don't drive, you idiot moss! How are we supposed to get out of here according to your brilliant escape plan?" the cook catches up to his side and complains to his ear.

"Shut up, shit cook! It's your fault for coming here. I had to come up with a plan right on the spot when I saw you. But since you asked, we could run."

"Run where? We're in the middle-of-nowhere half way between major cities. It's an hour and a half _drive_ either way! And for your information, I was kidnapped!"

"Looks like we don't have to worry about rides just yet." Zoro slows to a halt. The cook also stops and follows his gaze. A person is sitting on top of the car parked directly at the end of the garden path. They can only see his silhouette and his piercing bright yellow eyes against the waning half moon, but the giant sword-looking shape on his back is enough for anyone with a bit of common knowledge to identify him. This must be Zoro's lucky night.

"Warlord Dracule Mihawk? What's a government's dog doing here at an underground big shot's castle?" The cook calls to the man.

"I am following some rather interesting orders tonight to help out with a family affair. I was told not to let anyone with blond hair leave here." The man answers. As peculiar as that sounds, Zoro couldn't care less about the possible ties his adoptive family has with the corrupt and useless government. He looses his bandana from his arm and ties it over his head before drawing his swords.

"Sorry cook, step aside." Zoro says, ignores the cook's protests and walks toward the man. "I challenge you to a duel." he declares.

"Oh? Winch Green Vinsmoke Yonji, what do you want from me?"

"The name is Roronoa Zoro. I want your title as the strongest."

"You will die, boy."

"You have to stop us from leaving anyway, right? Just consider it part of your job." Zoro tightens his grip on his swords as he watches the man come down from the top of the car.

"Very well. I shall reward your recklessness with death." the man says as he draws his giant sword from his back. Zoro's thoughts flicker to Kuina and the night under the full moon as he readies his attack stance.

 _Santoryu Ogi: Sanzen Sekai_

Then it's over. Zoro sees the blood spill from the cut on his chest before he even feels the pain. Kitetsu is knocked out of his hand and has landed somewhere close to the cook. Yubashiri is scattered around his feet in pieces. Worst of all, Zoro knows that he hasn't made a single scratch on the warlord. He hears the sound of Wado dropping from his mouth onto the pebbled ground and feels his face slam onto the rough surface as he vaguely hears the cook call his name.

"Did you honestly think your swords can reach me when they are dripping in doubt and regret? You have potential. Do not rush to your death. Come to me again when you are ready." he hears the warlord from above him.

He stretches out a hand toward Kitetsu before everything goes black.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry for the cliffhanger, but we all know Zoro won't die from that.**

 **Yes I killed Yonji... because his code name suits Zoro so much better... haha... XP**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**

 **I've written only about half of Chapter 7, but I figured I won't make much more changes to this one anymore, so here you go. It's a bit early, but Merry Christmas! :)**

 **Warning: Sexual content with... questionable consent.**

 **More notes at the end.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 6**

Sanji turns another corner just to make sure nobody is following him before finally pulling out one more much needed cigarette. He would've chalked it up to the marimo's crazy landlord having strict tenancy regulations and being insane enough to hire live-in security guards for his properties, but not only did the "guard" point a sword at him, he was also able to identify Sanji by name in his head. Sanji saw his name floating in mid air in his own handwriting as soon as their eyes met.

 _Sanji, the missing heir._

And the shitty moss knows exactly what's going on and never said anything.

Sanji's cashing in all the trust he's built up over the years in Luffy's ability to pick out trustworthy nakama just to convince himself to take the moss head's word for it and walk away. They are nakama after all. Sanji has to trust him at least this much. He'd better have a brilliant explanation for this, or Sanji's breaking more than a bone or two this time.

He takes another deep draw from the filter. It doesn't affect his plan for the day though, apart from the meals and escorting the marimo to see Chopper. He still needs to stick his nose where Zeff doesn't want it today. He pulls out his phone to call and leave a message on Chopper's voice mail for Zoro's visit and to text the marimo the new meal plans and a couple well deserved threats. He finishes the cigarette and heads to the train station. It frustrates him, but it's probably easiest if he eats the lunch box they sell on the train for breakfast today.

The idea of sleeping on the train is quickly thrown out the window when Sanji starts chewing his thumb two minutes after departure for not being allowed to smoke. The image of the surprise-attack-of-a-kiss in the elevator pops back into his head as he runs his thumb along his lower lip. Ah yes, that's one more thing they have to set straight tonight. The algae idiot quickly declared that the kiss meant nothing to him, so Sanji will not let that kind of actions slide in the future. There's no way Sanji is getting into another "purely physical" relationship that lasts more than one night, especially not when it's already not so purely physical anymore on his end.

One of the many things he's learned from being with Ace is that he's likely biologically not capable of having that sort of relationships. It's not that he was ever in love with Ace, nor was he delusional enough to believe that their "thing" would've eventually turned into anything more. Sanji was perfectly clear on where the boundaries were. He still couldn't stop his mind from constantly pushing to cross them. He was attached, jealous, and even bitter at times, and he knew it wasn't because Ace was irreplaceable or even all that important to him romantically. It made him hate himself that the negative emotions he had were easily fixed when there was someone else, usually a beautiful lady he just met, who could shower him with the attention he was craving from Ace for the day.

It was entirely the fault of Sanji's flawed personality, so he won't do it again. It doesn't matter how mind-blowing the sex was that Friday night. It doesn't matter that the man seems to have kinks that match his just fine. It doesn't matter that the man made a move on him today. It doesn't matter that he's secretly in love with the man. He bites down hard on his thumb. It's because he's in love with the man that they will be nothing more than a one-night fling, roommates for the month, and nakama.

He gives himself a mental pat-on-the-back before making his way to greet the beautiful attendant who's approaching his seat pushing a cart of lunch boxes. Ace would be proud of him. He's grown at least a little.

Sanji's plan at the Baratie is simple. He'd slip in the front door (because Zeff would catch him instantly and kick him out if he goes in the back), and he'd find the woman who is supposedly his mother, or whoever's still there on her behalf, and have a talk in the coffee shop across the street to get the full story. He'd decide what to do after that. There's a slight change of his plan when he sees two more of him sitting at the small table closest to the kitchen.

No, two Sanji-look-alikes with Franky's fashion sense. The same shade of golden blond hair gelled into what look like two of Franky's ludicrous styles from his "new and improved" cyborg hair salon function, the same swirly eyebrows over Franky-styled pointy sunglasses, the same slender build in perverted skin-tight pants that Franky would approve of, and matching capes that might suit Chopper's taste, one in red and one in blue.

"Oh look, we found Cinderella." the red one says, tilting his seat so that the back keeps knocking loudly against the wall.

"You don't have to hide from us you know, we brought your glass slipper." the blue one says, tapping the bottom of one dirty boot on the rim of the table and no doubt leaving a mud print on the white tablecloth.

"Let's talk outside." Sanji jams an unlit cigarette between his lips. He knows the rules. He'll light it when they're outside.

"Hey hey, you know how long we've been waiting for you in these crappy seats? You could at least show us some gratitude." the blue one speaks again. Sanji promptly plants a kick to his face across the small table, knocking him off his chair.

"I said outside." Sanji bites on the filter of his perfectly new cigarette in an effort to keep his voice down.

"You got mud on my face, you little shit!" the blue one stands up and wipes his face in rage. He looks like he's in a lot less pain than Sanji intended to cause.

"So? You got mud on the tablecloth." Sanji wonders briefly why Zeff allowed such pigs to stay in the restaurant, but the answer comes to him quickly. It must be to prevent them from going out and looking for him.

"You bastard, I'm gonna kill you!" the blue one lifts Sanji by the collar and throws a punch to his face, the second one today, but not nearly as hard as the first one.

"Niji, stop it. We need him alive and well to get rid of the real bastard." the red one calls, flicking the heavily gelled hair covering the right side of his sunglasses. Sanji suddenly has the urge to change his hair style so that it doesn't bear any resemblance to this guy's.

"Oi Sanji, you damn brat, what are you doing picking a fight in front of the customers?" Patty pokes his head out from the kitchen door. Sanji looks around guiltily. Sure enough, he sees packed tables and frightened faces in every direction.

"We'll leave now." Sanji stands up and dusts off his suit. "Let's go shitheads, weren't you gonna take me somewhere?" The caped duo look stunned for a moment before leading the cook to the front door.

"Where do you think you're going, eggplant?" Zeff calls from beside Patty. Sanji doesn't need to turn and look at the old man to feel his glare, a glare that only he and a handful of the cooks know is filled with worry instead of anger.

"I'll be back, shitty old man. Just gonna say hi to some shitty relatives." Sanji says as he pushes open the door. He figures that's probably a faster way to learn the truth than trying to talk to those two idiots over coffee.

* * *

Sanji is unable to move a muscle as he watches one of Zoro's swords spin through the air and land not far behind him. He feels the air turbulence as the tip of the sword narrowly misses slicing his head in half, but his eyes are glued to the giant cut diagonally across Zoro's chest that's spewing blood as the man falls face first onto the ground. He rushes forward and plants his knees beside Zoro's unresponsive form and instantly feels his dress pants soaked with warm blood. He panics as the dark puddle of blood slowly increases in size.

"Take care of him, boy. I will wait for his return. He has entertained me more than the mission itself." Mihawk sheaths his giant sword and disappears into the night with a flick of his cloak. Sanji looks back to Zoro. What should he do? He's never seen injuries this bad before. How does it go with knife cuts? Bleeding, he should stop the bleeding. He rolls Zoro over with shaky hands so that the bloody man is on his back. He hovers his hands uselessly over the torn and blood soaked shirt, afraid of touching the wrong part of the wound in the dim moon light and making it worse.

"Move over. You're in the way." a cold voice speaks as a hand shoves his own away. He looks up and finds Zoro's guard (Sanji now knows that he's Zoro's personal guard from the family, not a security guard for the apartment building) busy pulling rolls of bandages and medical tapes out of a bag and laying them on a towel beside the puddle of blood. The guard takes a piece of clean cloth, presses it over the spot where blood is still streaming out, and turns to glare at Sanji.

"If you've got nothing to do, at least go grab his swords." the guard turns back to Zoro before he even finishes the sentence. Sanji looks numbly from his blood stained hands to Zoro then to the guard, who gives him another sharp look before throwing a towel at his face.

"Hurry up before the castle guards show up here. Use this for the broken one. Zoro wouldn't abandon her here." the guard's voice starts out in annoyance but ends as an almost tender whisper. He goes back to closing other parts of Zoro's wound with medical tape without another glance at Sanji. The blond silently searches the nearby ground for pieces of the broken sword and wraps them in the towel before retrieving the other two. When he's done carefully sheathing the two good swords, the guard is already carrying Zoro into the back seat of one of the parked cars.

"Get in and press on the cloth. He's still bleeding." the guard orders and gets into the driver seat. Sanji carefully lifts Zoro's unconscious body to slide into his seat so that the man's head is in his lap. The car starts moving as soon as he puts down Zoro's swords and closes the door. Sanji presses one hand on the half soaked piece of cloth just under the ribcage and runs his free hand soothingly through Zoro's short grassy hair. It's not like it'd help soothe any pain when the man's unconscious, but it gives the blond a way to keep his hands busy when he's restless. From the light of the passing street lamps he can see Zoro's calm and relaxed face, slightly scraped from his fall. Tiny lines of wrinkles fill up where his semi-permanent frown used to be. The gold bars on his ear chime softly to the movement of the car. The bandana is tied to his arm again, littered with traces of blood and dirt. The wound across his entire torso is pulled to close by pieces of clear medical tape but still covered in a bloody mess.

"Call the doctor." the guard orders while driving. When Sanji gives him a confused look, he speaks again, making it clear how much it irritates him to have to clarify things for the blond. "Zoro has a doctor he always goes to. You know him, right? Call him."

Sanji obediently takes out his phone. The fact that he's being repeatedly ordered around by a guy he barely knows by face and tried to kill him just earlier today hasn't even registered enough in his mind to bother him. It isn't until he hears Chopper's voice that the situation begins to sink in.

"Oi Sanji, you said Zoro would come by, and he hasn't shown up all day. Is it serious? That bastard's probably trying to sleep it off again. Is he with you? Let me talk to him." the little doctor rambles. For a long moment Sanji doesn't know what he should say. When he finally speaks, his voice brings out an avalanche of tears.

"I'm sorry. It's all my fault." he manages to choke out before his voice fails. He can hear the panic in the reindeer's voice over the phone as he asks for explanations. He should talk. He should at least tell him Zoro's still alive, but he can't seem to steady his breathing enough to make any intelligible sound. Soon the phone is yanked out of his hand. He looks up to find them parked on the side of the highway, and the guard is impatiently demanding driving directions over the phone. When he's done, he chucks the phone onto the empty passenger seat and drives.

Sanji's mind is blank as they drive on in silence. Everything is a blur except for the steady rise and fall of Zoro's chest under his hand. He's not sure how much time has passed when the guard speaks out of the blue.

"It's not love." he says, his voice dismissive with a pinch of anger. Sanji looks up and catches a brief glare the guard is sending him through the mirror. He has no idea what the guard is talking about, so he says nothing.

"What you feel for him. It might be a crush, admiration, curiosity, whatever, but it's not love." the guard continues. The accusation causes a sick feeling to stir in Sanji's stomach. "It's not love unless you're willing to sacrifice for him." the guard adds. Sanji snaps. How dare he...

"What makes you think my feelings for him are any of your business?" and what does this guy know about him anyway? What right does he have to claim something like that?

"What makes you think it's not my business?" the guard counters, his voice louder and angrier than before. He holds his glare through the mirror while Sanji's barely functional mind works out what he can possibly mean by that. Does he mean...? Zoro never mentioned... But if it's true, he'd have a perfect reason to hate Sanji this much.

"You're his boyfriend?" Sanji asks hesitantly.

"I'm not, but only because he doesn't need one. I'll be whatever he needs me to be because I love him. I infiltrated the family just to be by his side after he agreed to the adoption because I know he'd need someone he can trust. That's how much I'm willing to sacrifice for him. But you..." the guard glares at Sanji once more.

"You must be aware by now that some of us in the family wants you dead to secure his place as heir while others wants him dead to empty the seat for you. Your very existence is a threat to his life. You getting involved with the family is pushing him closer to his death sentence, and yet he's risking it all to save you." the guard turns off the engine. It takes a moment before Sanji realizes that they're outside Dr. Kureha's private hospital in Drums, Chopper's hometown.

"You're right when you said this is all your fault. If you really love him, you'd think about what you can do to keep him safe." the guard says before exiting the driver seat and slamming the door shut. Sanji looks down at the unconscious and bloody swordsman in his lap. He can't hide behind the excuse that Zoro was being a secretive bastard and never told him about the dangers, or that he didn't know it could cause this much harm to Zoro. The fact of the matter is if he didn't show up at the meeting today, Zoro would still be unscratched.

He feels the door beside him open with a click before Chopper pokes his head in.

"Sanji, are you OK? Can you come out by yourself? I'm getting Franky to help me move Zoro to the stretcher, and he'd have more room if you come out first." Sanji nods and slides out of the car with Zoro's swords. He quietly walks past Franky, who gives him a heavy pat on the shoulder, and sees the rest of their group scattered about the hospital entrance, worry written on all their faces.

"Robin, come with me to the operation room. Zoro will probably need as much blood as we can give him." Chopper yells as he pushes Zoro's stretcher through the entrance. Robin is the only one in their group that shares Zoro's blood type. Chopper would know, of course. Sanji watches from afar as everyone else crowds in to take a quick look at Zoro before he disappears into the operation room. Sanji's gut twists. He let all his nakama down too. He allowed this to happen to Zoro right before his eyes.

"I'll go with you." the guard says to Chopper, running beside the stretcher with one hand firmly on the rail. "I have the same blood type as him too." Chopper seems to hesitate at the offer, but the guard insists. "He'll need as much as we can give him, right?" The little doctor mutters that he'll have to run some tests first but allows the guard into the room before closing the door.

 _"This is all your fault."_

Sanji stands outside the automatic glass doors, unsure if he even has the right anymore to step in and join his nakama in the hallway. Usopp is the first to walk out towards him. Sanji forces himself to stay where he is and looks to the ground as his friend stops right in front of him. He catches Usopp raising a hand and flinches slightly. If the long nose wants to hit him for what he's done tonight, if anyone else in the group wants to do the same, he deserves it. But instead of a punch, Sanji feels a worried pinch on his shoulder as his friend gently shakes him.

"Sanji, are you OK? We should get Chopper to check you over too when he's done with Zoro. Did you get hurt anywhere?" Sanji shakes his head, but Usopp is already checking for himself. "Oi, you have a cut on your chest too. Is it still bleeding? Your hands and legs are full of blood. Did you hurt them? And what happened to your face?"

"I'm fine." he says quietly, slowly pushing Usopp away. He doesn't deserve this much concern from them.

"Sanji," Luffy's calm serious voice calls from behind the long nose. "Who did this to him?" Of course, if anyone's going to rebuke him for hurting a nakama, it'd be Luffy. The boy may not act like it most of the time, but he's the one that has drawn everyone together, the heart and the soul of the group. Sanji keeps his eyes on the ground.

"I did." he says, his voice barely audible to himself.

"Cut the crap, Sanji! Who did this?" Nami steps forward to stand beside Usopp, fixing a glare at the blond.

"Oi Nami, don't be so harsh. He's clearly blaming himself for -" the long nose pleads, but Nami cuts him off.

"Listen, there isn't a single one of us who would believe that you'd willingly let harm come to Zoro. I don't care what that creep said to you on your way here, but it's not your fault. That guy's always been a nut case around Zoro. You don't have to listen to a word he says." Sanji looks up at her, then at Usopp and Luffy, searching for traces of doubt or blame and finding none. Zoro's swords feel instantly lighter in his grip.

"You... you know him?" he asks. He's only seen the guard for the first time today after all.

"It's hard for us not to. We've known Zoro for a long time. They're childhood friends, and they hang out a lot. Saga tends to bark at anyone who gets too close to Zoro probably because he's frustrated that Zoro's too dense to ever notice his feelings. He barked at Luffy before too, but there's no bite. It's not like he's anywhere close to strong enough to win any of the fights he picks." Nami shrugs with a look of amusement.

"Saga?"

"Yeah. That's his name. Now tell us who cut Zoro open like that." Nami's tone turns serious in an instant. Sanji tries to decide if telling them the whole story is a good idea. Thinking back now, the marimo probably had a good reason to be so secretive to him. Being involved with the Vinsmoke family doesn't give the grass head much choice in that matter. He decides to answer only what he's asked.

"Mihawk." he says and watches in confusion as tension drains from his nakama and they turn to smile at each other. Luffy even comes to pat him on the shoulder.

"He found Hawk-eye? Good for him! We should throw him a feast when he wakes up! Did he win?" Luffy asks with a grin, which earns him a wack from Nami.

"You idiot, how could he have won if he looks like that?"

"Don't worry, Sanji. Zoro's fighting for his dream. He won't die before he defeats Mihawk." Usopp hooks an arm over his neck and pulls him toward the glass doors.

"Yeah, he'll live. He's Zoro after all. So can you cook me some meat? You said you'd come over to cook for me, but you never did!" Luffy whines, which reminds Sanji that he should prepare a warm sweet drink for Robin when she finishes giving blood. But first he needs a smoke. Now that his nakama have managed to ease a bit of his guilt, he can clearly feel the itch for a cigarette clawing at him.

"I'll see what I can find in the kitchen later. Just need a smoke break. You guys go in first." he props Zoro's swords against the wall by the entrance and pulls out a cigarette to light it, noting with a smile the cheerful replies his nakama give him as he turns to lean on the wall himself. As undeserving as he is for the title at the moment, he's still their nakama, and they have his back because of that. He can't help but wonder how lucky he is to have known them, to have known Luffy.

Come to think of it, some of them became nakama only by extension through Luffy, like he and the marimo did. They've never met each other until less than 2 weeks ago, and they know far too little about each other to have the level of trust required to be nakama. Yet they seem to have instantly accepted each other as someone they'd risk their lives for because of Luffy. The boy really has strange powers in that regard. The marimo obviously trusts him despite how ill-acquainted they are, but maybe he shouldn't.

 _"Your very existence is a threat to his life."_

Sanji slowly exhales a stream of smoke into the night air. Is it possible that they're just not suitable to be nakama after all even if Luffy accepts both of them separately? Sanji knows how accepting the boy is. Luffy sees nothing but the heart, but sometimes it takes more than two good hearts to have a bond.

"It's a little chilly tonight." Robin's voice startles Sanji out of his daze. He hasn't noticed when the glass doors opened, nor when the dark beauty came to stand beside him.

"Robin, my angel! How are you feeling? I should go and make you a warm drink. Please wait here." Sanji turns to put out his cigarette, but a hand sprouts from the wall and stops him.

"We have a _super_ warm blanket in the truck. Just give me a minute." Franky flashes them a toothy smile as he passes them and dives into the back of his truck. He begins throwing random objects around in search of the blanket.

"At least finish your cigarette first, Sanji. That's one of your last ones, right? I won't faint until then." Robin smiles, and Sanji complies. It's the second last one to be exact. He should've taken an extra pack with him when the moss head pulled him out the door last night.

"Do you..." Sanji finds his mouth talking again before he knows what he's trying to say, but the thought quickly follows. "Do you consider Vivi a nakama?" He watches in horror as the smile on Robin's face slowly fades to a light guilty frown.

"Uh... I don't mean to... Sorry." Sanji waves his hands desperately, as if his words earlier can be batted away. Robin was once part of the underground organization that stirred up a civil war and almost took over Vivi's kingdom, not to mention almost killing her father the king in the process. That was before Robin joined the group, and it's not something anyone wants to talk about. Sanji suspects that Robin has deliberately set up travel plans with Franky to avoid being invited to the rare get-togethers Vivi hosts for her friends out of her busy schedule as a princess.

"It's fine. Regardless of the excuses I might have had at the time, it's true that my actions have directly caused her tremendous pain. I don't hope that she would forgive me one day, and I don't think anything I do would atone for my crimes. However, I wouldn't hesitate to give up my life for hers, as I would do for any of you. Seeing how my conviction on the matter is likely unreciprocated, I believe that we cannot be considered nakama." Robin pauses, but before Sanji can offer any words of comfort, she continues.

"As for you and Zoro, on the other hand," she gives Sanji a reassuring smile as he looks at her in surprise. "Despite both having ties to the Vinsmokes, neither of you is keen on the idea of following the family's orders if it means hurting the other. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, tonight is a prime example of how Zoro is ready to betray the family to keep you safe. If you feel the same way, then I see no reason not to consider the two of you nakama."

Sanji is stunned speechless for a moment or two at the extent of Robin's intelligence network. He should've known that Robin would know everything. She has her connections to every corner of the underground world from the old days. Now he can see why someone like the marimo would think she can read moods or minds. Maybe he should've asked for her help sooner in finding the culprit behind the harassment aimed at Zeff, but she probably knew all along, just like the moss head, and never told him. If she knows this much already, she must also know that it's not about what the two of them do themselves that's the problem.

"Robin, you're so kind. You're avoiding the messed up parts of the situation just to make me feel better, aren't you?" Sanji exhales a puff of smoke into the chilly night air. "We don't have to try to kill each other to cause harm. The way things are right now, we just have to exist."

"Pardon me, but I don't see how that's relevant to your relationship." Robin tilts her head slightly in faked confusion and continues before Sanji can argue. "I refuse to believe that Zoro, of all people, would hold grudges against his nakama for things beyond their control. Neither would you, and that's all that matters. Besides, situations can be changed." Robin finishes and looks to the truck. Are those empty words of comfort, or are they a gentle encouragement for action? Before Sanji can find out, Robin breaks into a smile as she sees Franky approaching with a woolen blanket in his hand. He wraps it around her shoulders and pulls her into a silent affectionate hug. Sanji watches with slight envy as Robin relaxes in Franky's embrace with an appreciative sigh. Love is a beautiful thing. It's a shame the marimo is too blind to see it even with that freakish mood-reading eye.

"I'll be right back with some drinks. Cola, Franky?" Sanji takes a last draw from the cigarette and puts it out against the wall.

"Sure. Thanks, Sanji-bro." the cyborg answers as Sanji grabs Zoro's swords and makes his way upstairs to the kitchen. The building used to belong to the mayor before he went crazy and disappeared. When he came back, he tried to eat anyone he sees in the town, leaving many severely injured on the streets. That was when Dr. Kureha (or Doctorine, as Chopper calls her), Chopper's mentor, took over the building to use it as a temporary hospital to treat the towns folks. Franky has done a few renovations on the building since then, including the operation rooms, the glass automatic front doors for easy access for stretchers and wheelchairs, and enlarging the kitchen to accommodate more than one family.

Sanji leans the swords in the corner of the kitchen and quickly gets to work, listening to the distant but still obnoxious singing from Luffy and Usopp somewhere down the hallway. It's not like they haven't been here over a hundred times already, but they always insist on playing their exploration game every time. Sanji silently thanks the fact that Dr. Kureha is away on a trip and that the hospital is deserted. Chopper would probably freak out even more if they end up disturbing other patients.

It is a chilly night for the middle of July, so Sanji settles for hot chocolate for everyone except Franky, who would drink cola in all weathers all year round anyway. He drops a handful of marshmallows into the last cup and tries to remember where he would find cinnamon for the finishing touches. He has some in his spice chest, of course, and the chest is... in the marimo's apartment, along with his set of knives. Well, it looks like Luffy won't be getting his meat tonight. Drums is not far from East Blue compared to some of the other towns, but it's still close to an hour's drive away, not to mention Sanji would have to hunt down the keys first. A quick search confirms that there's no cinnamon he can use in the kitchen. Sanji sighs and loads all cups and a bottle of chilled cola onto the serving platter.

"Nami, my angel, I've made some hot chocolate just for you!" Sanji calls down the hall as he makes his way down the stairs with his platter balanced on one hand and Zoro's swords in the other. There was one time a couple years ago when the boys came back from their exploring with a jewlery box. Since then, Nami has always made sure she's part of the exploration team. When he hears a faint "thanks Sanji, just bring it downstairs," he smiles and complies, intentionally ignoring the "what about ours" and "what about meat" from the boys. He makes a bee line to the beautiful Robin, who's no doubt in great need of some sugar and liquid after giving blood to the marimo.

"Robin, my love, here you go. Sorry to keep you waiting." he says, lowering his serving platter in front of the couple seated on one of the hallway benches outside of the operation room. He's just about to stand up again after both have taken their drinks when he feels Zoro's swords snatched out of his other hand. He turns to find the guard, Saga, taking a seat on the opposite bench with the swords in his hand. Sanji's now empty hand subconsciously reaches for his last cigarette before he stops it as his finger touches the almost empty pack. He takes a deep breath and sets down the drinks on an empty bench. As resentful as that face looks at the moment, the guy just gave blood too. Sanji picks up one of the cups and makes the short trip across the hall.

"Yours, shithead." he says tersely, holding out the cup. Saga eyes it suspiciously, and Sanji snorts. If the guy dares to knock it over or spill any, he'd have all the valid excuses in the world to break his face, not that he'd ever wish for the waste of food for such a chance. Luckily, Saga hesitantly takes the cup and sips.

"Sanji, your turn. Come in. I need to check you." Chopper pokes his head out of the swinging doors of the operation room.

"Ah Chopper, I'm fine. Take a break and have some hot chocolate. I put extra marshmallows in yours." Sanji notes the momentary twinkle in the little doctor's eyes at the mention of marshmallows, but the doctor face is back in place within a split second.

"Listen to the doctor, you bastard! I need to check you! Have you seen yourself in a mirror?"

"It's just a flesh wound and a marimo punch, nothing that can't wait. Consider this a reward for a skilled and hardworking doctor on overtime." Sanji picks up Chopper's cup and presses it into his little hooves while the reindeer does his saying-that-won't-make-me-happy-at-all-you-bastard happy dance. Sanji watches as the little doctor shuffles over and climbs onto the nearest bench with a content sigh. He picks up his own cup and joins him.

"How's the marimo?" He asks and is immediately aware of the other three pairs of eyes on Chopper beside him.

"Zoro's in stable condition now. He has some minor fractures in his right arm and one of his left ribs, but those will heal just fine as long as he stays away from his crazy training routines." Oh right, those were from Sanji. "He's lucky that the cut is clean and just shallow enough to miss all of his inner organs except a couple places along the intestines. He's lost a lot of blood because one of his veins was cut, but we gave him plenty. I'm checking on him every 15 minutes or so to watch for any reactions to the new blood source." his large eyes shoot a quick glance at Saga. "It's a good thing you left the stitching to me, or it might scar pretty badly." Sanji looks up just in time to see the "of course, I know what I'm doing" look on Saga's face before it disappears.

"I don't know. It's the moss head after all. He might've wanted a badass scar instead." Sanji chuckles into his cup as he hears a "well that's too bad" from the little doctor with a pinch of irritation. "Will he be awake soon? I might need to borrow his keys to get my stuff so Luffy doesn't starve tonight." Before Chopper can answer, the guard speaks up from across the hall.

"I have the keys. I'll get them. You'd have to be stupid to think it's a good idea for you to show up at that building again." Saga glares at the blond and mocks.

"Wait a sec there, bro. I don't know what's going on, but you don't have to be so nasty." Franky defends the blond while Sanji's own fingers clench around the last cigarette in his pocket. He does want to break that smug face, but the guy's right. Even if the family doesn't know Sanji was living there, they'd at least keep an eye on Zoro's home when the man goes missing from the meeting.

"Outsiders should keep their mouths shut." Saga says and pushes open the swinging doors to the operation room.

"Oi what are you doing? Zoro needs rest!" Chopper yells in alarm and jumps off the bench.

"Returning his swords." the guy disappears behind the doors without looking back. There goes the last of Sanji's endurance. He stands up and turns to the hospital entrance. He feels a tuck on his sleeve and hears a quiet "Sanji". He turns to find Chopper's concerned face.

"Just going for a smoke. I'll let you check my injuries when I'm done." Sanji smiles reassuringly and pets the little doctor's head before marching out the glass doors. Once outside, he lights the cigarette with practiced ease and takes a deep, calming draw. This is the last one, and how quickly he gets his next pack would depend on a shitty bastard who hates his guts (he found out years ago that they don't sell cigarettes in Drums). As if on cue, the automatic doors slide open behind him, and the shitty bastard walks past him without a word.

"Bring my knife set and spice chest. They're on the kitchen counter." Sanji calls to his back, but Saga keeps walking. "My cigarettes are in the bedroom nightstand drawer. And some change of clothes..." Sanji continues. The guard turns to Sanji abruptly, making the blond stop mid-sentence in surprise.

"Bedroom?" he mutters, narrowing his eyes in anger. Oh, he's misunderstanding something there? Sanji smirks inwardly as he takes his sweet time taking another deep draw from his cigarette and exhaling. He doesn't like leaving misunderstandings like this unexplained, but it doesn't mean he has to rush. As immature as it might be, there's something deeply satisfying about seeing that particular face twist in jealousy.

"And some change of clothes for the moss head, from his weight room." There, that should make it clear that they're not sleeping together. But instead of relaxing or feeling embarrassed about his reaction, Saga continues to glare at Sanji. Is he so upset now that he can't process what the blond is trying to say? Sanji keeps his inward smirk and studies Saga's face when the now familiar little black balls appear between them.

 _He let you sleep in_ _our_ _room?_

A chilling realization runs from head to toe. This guy said he's not Zoro's boyfriend, but they're clearly not just friends either. It makes sense. That's why Zoro would have lube and handcuffs in his bedroom drawer when he doesn't appear to have anyone to use it with. Zoro's never brought a stranger home before Sanji after all. He's... getting in the way of a private relationship again, isn't he?

"I'll bring everything that's not Zoro's. You should move out anyway." Saga says flatly and turns to the car.

"Hey," Sanji calls to his back again, softer this time. "You wanted to kill me, right? Why did you help me get back here tonight?" Saga seems to pause in hesitation before taking out a piece of paper from his pocket and reaching for Sanji's discarded phone in the passenger seat of the car.

"There's something you can do for him that I can't." he takes Sanji's hand and gives him the piece of paper and the phone. "You can free him. You can take his place. If you're dead, he'd be stuck in the family for life." Sanji unfolds the paper and reads.

 _Pink: 300 1010_

"Talk to her when- _if_ \- you decide you want to do it for him. The family won't bother looking for him if you tell them he's dead. They don't need him as long as they have you as the heir. If you love him, it shouldn't be a hard decision to make." Saga gets into the driver's seat and drives off, leaving Sanji to stare at the number.

 _"It's not love unless you're willing to sacrifice for him."_

* * *

By the time Saga came back with all of Sanji's belongings three hours later, most of the group had already left for the night. Luffy obviously didn't have the patience to wait until he can get meat. The two couples all had work the next morning. Saga left to tend to "family duties" after a short goodbye _alone_ with the unconscious marimo, which Sanji found just plain creepy. The only one who decided to stay the night was Chopper, and he stayed with the marimo in the operation room until the inter-city bus starts running again in the morning.

Sanji slept in one of the wards closer to the kitchen on the second floor, or he tried to. He didn't get a wink of sleep despite how tired he was both mentally and physically. He tried to do some much needed thinking when it was evident that he wouldn't be sleeping, but his sleep deprived but still hyperactive mind couldn't calm down enough for him to keep track of his thoughts. He finally gave up and got out of bed at 5 to cook a luxurious breakfast for himself and the little doctor.

"He's on bed rest and clear liquid diet with no alcohol for the first three days. I'll come back to check on him after that. He should be waking up around noon. Call me when he does, and don't let him have his swords. And you promised you absolutely won't get into a fight with him!" Chopper repeats for the 6th time as he dries the last of the dishes. They have moved Zoro to the ward Sanji was in last night, right beside the kitchen.

"Don't worry, Chopper. I remember. Bed rest, liquid diet, no booze, no swords, and no fighting, right?" Sanji wipes down the last counter surface and hangs the dish cloth on one of the cabinet handles to dry.

"That's _clear_ liquid diet, and remember both of you need to apply the cream every 6 hours. I mean _both_ of you, Sanji!"

"Got it, Doctor. Now let's get going before you miss your bus."

"You stay here and keep an eye on Zoro. I know my way around here better than you do, so I'll be fine on my own." the reindeer orders and picks up his backpack heads down the stairs, stopping only for a quick goodbye. Sanji makes his way back to the side of the unconscious marimo after watching Chopper disappear around the corner of the block through the window.

"It's just us now, secretive moss. Wake up soon so we can get to the explaining you promised." Sanji chuckles to himself. He should go back to the bed on the opposite side of the room to get some more sleep himself, but he has a feeling he won't be getting any sleep until he deals with the information overload in his head from yesterday. The marimo stirs as if trying to answer Sanji's request.

"Oi, you awake?" Sanji leans over to take a closer look. It's only 8 in the morning. He wasn't expecting the lazy bastard to wake up this early after an injury like that, but those eyes squint as they slowly open.

"Cook," the man mutters when his eyes finally focus on Sanji's face. Nothing more comes after the nickname, but his dilated eyes are fixed on Sanji with desperation, as if trying to grab a hold of the blond by sight alone. Two black shadows form between them.

 _I need..._

Then nothing. Maybe the moss head is still confused, having just woken from a dream or something.

"Oi dumbass, wake up properly if you're gonna open your eyes. What do you need? Water?" Sanji snaps his fingers in front of the man's eyes, but they continue to cling to his face with no other thoughts to be read except for jumbled repetitions of "Cook", "I", and "need".

"Wait here. I'll grab some water." Sanji straightens his back and turns. He'll need to call Chopper too. The marimo is acting strange. Maybe he hit his head too hard last night when he fell? Sanji feels his left wrist being pulled harshly as he tries take a step away from the bed, and he barely has enough time to look back and read an "I need you, Cook" before the man tackles him to the carpet floor and starts kissing him as if trying to suffocate him.

Sanji feels a wave of anger rush over him. What does this man think he's doing? What does he mean he needs him? What about Saga? What is Saga to him? Is this "just a kiss" again? Who does he think he is? He pushes out with his hands to get enough room to plant a foot on Zoro's uncut shoulder and pries the man off himself. He needs answers first.

"Wait a fucking minute, you ape!" he begins, but before he can get a single question out, Zoro's thought hangs in front of him once again in his own curly writing.

 _I need you... Cook._

Zoro has his hands planted on either side of the cook's shoulders, wearing an expression of a hungry child being scolded for stealing food for the first time. Those four words read like a broken plea in Sanji's head. Saga's voice rings in his ears.

 _"I'll be whatever he needs me to be because I love him."_

 _"It's not love unless you're willing to sacrifice for him."_

 _"If you love him, it shouldn't be a hard decision to make."_

The anger fades, replaced by a pinch in the chest. Sanji removes the foot on Zoro's shoulder and sits up slowly.

"I'm right here, but you'll tear your stitches like this." he says as he guides the man until Zoro lies on his back on the carpet. The blond pulls off his tie and wraps it over Zoro's eyes to stop the man from seeing his unwillingness through mood colours. The man obediently raises his head to allow Sanji to tie the fabric without question, sliding the pair of strong calloused hands down the blond's thin dress shirt. He wonders briefly if Zoro remembers the safe word.

"You win." he leans down to whisper in the man's ear. A sharp intake of breath and finger nails dragging along the thighs of his dress pants confirm that Zoro has completely forgotten what the phrase means. Of course. Sanji was just a stranger then, not that he's much more than that now, but he's fine with this. He hesitates for a moment before pressing a kiss to the side of the man's jaw.

"Tell me what you want me to do." he whispers again between soft kisses. If he could do this for Ace before, there's no reason why he can't do it for the man he loves now.

"Stay here with me, Cook." Zoro pants, slipping his hands under the dress shirt hungrily, "I want to feel you." His voice is thick with desire, but it still sounds more like pleading than seduction.

"I'm not going anywhere, Marimo." Sanji says calmly as he works through the buttons of his shirt, letting it fall open and drape over the man's bandaged chest. He sits up straight cooperatively when Zoro slides the shirt off his shoulders and makes no move to help or hinder the man's shaking hands from clumsily undoing his belt and dress pants and pulling them to his knees. Sanji feels the first shiver of arousal as a warm but rough hand wraps around his length. Here he is again, naked, exposed, and willingly at Zoro's mercy. The thought, combined with Zoro's skillful strokes, has him boiling in lust within a minute or two.

"'S it OK?" Zoro asks as he takes one of the blond's hands and places it on the rim of his sweat pants, a clean pair that Saga brought last night. Sanji wants to laugh. The only time the marimo has any manners is during sex. Of course it's OK. Anything Zoro wants to do now is OK because the man needs him. Whatever that nosy guard is willing to be for him is not enough right now because he needs the COOK. Even if this is purely physical to Zoro. Even if Sanji has to deal with his own emotional mess later. Even if this is Zoro waking up from a bad dream about that childhood friend again. Even if Zoro never loves him. Even if Zoro finds love elsewhere one day. Even if Zoro has already found love elsewhere and left no room for him. It's all OK.

As a reply, Sanji quickly rids both of them of all their clothes below the waist, straddles the man, and leans in to place a kiss on his lips, thrusting their erections against each other in the process. Zoro gasps against his lips before tangling one hand in his hair and tracing the other up his back. The man pulls Sanji down to deepen the kiss, running his tongue greedily along the side of the cook's. Sanji lets him without a fight. He's already lost. He's fallen in love first. Now he belongs to Zoro, and Zoro still belongs to himself.

"You have lube?" Zoro breaks the kiss and asks.

"No. I can go without." Sanji offers. He wasn't lying when he said that anything Zoro wants is OK. It'll hurt for a while, but nothing he can't handle. He leans in to continue the kiss, but Zoro steers the blond's face to his bandaged shoulder by the back of the neck. When Sanji looks up again, the man is licking the fingers of his free hand. The sight is both provocative and disgusting at the same time.

"What the fuck are you doing?" the blond asks.

"Getting lube."

"You're gross."

"And you're a kinky bastard." the man says as he slides his palm and thumb along Sanji's back as guides to make up for his lack of sight and presses a slick finger past the blond's entrance. Sanji grits his teeth at the unannounced intrusion. Zoro's tongue finds the shell of the cook's ear and licks as he keeps a firm hold on the back of Sanji's neck with one hand and thursts with the other.

"Fuck you..." Sanji retorts through clenched jaws, pressing his forehead against the man's board shoulder. The finger stops mid-thrust, and Zoro turns to him.

"'S that what you want?" the man asks in all seriousness. Sanji's fine with that too. It's Anything-Zoro-Wants Day today after all. But after a quick run through their options, he decides it's not a good idea if they don't want to risk tearing Zoro's stitches.

"Not today." At once the thrusting resumes, and soon the second and third fingers are added. Before long, Zoro withdraws his hand and spits onto the palm. The blond fakes a gag in disgust.

"What, you wanna suck me instead then?"

"You didn't shower."

"Exactly, so just shut up and watch." Zoro spits again and reaches down to coat his length, deliberately brushing up against the blond's throbbing erection in the process. Sanji bites back a moan and tries not to roll his hips.

"You're quiet today." the man hums in Sanji's ear, sending a shiver through his bones.

"I'm not drunk." Sanji tries to keep his voice steady. He feels a couple light taps on his thigh, telling him to get up. He takes the hint and gets onto his knees in time to see a small smile pulling at the corner of Zoro's mouth. He allows himself to be guided on the way down and tries to relax for the entry. It hurts more than real lube, but he only allows himself a moment of adjustment before he starts moving in a slow and sensual rhythm, as if they're really making love. This, too, is OK. Even if this is as close to love making as they'll ever get. This man can have his body, his heart, his life, everything. Even if there's nothing for him in return.

Zoro reaches his high with a low grunt, and the blond follows soon after, being careful to capture his release in his own hands to avoid soiling the man's bandages. Sanji leans down once more to place a kiss to the man's jaw before unstraddling him and standing up. Zoro forcefully pulls off his blindfold.

"Wait." the man calls and scrambles to sit up. Sanji can see the panic making its way into his eyes.

 _Don't go._

"Just washing my hands and grabbing a towel for your filthy ass." Sanji teases.

When he comes back from cleaning himself, he finds Zoro lying sideways on the carpet with a blanket, looking up at him with relief. Without a word, he hangs the clean wet towel on the foot board of the bed and gets down under the blanket beside the man. Zoro instantly pulls him into an embrace with both arms and a leg.

"I'm sorry, Cook." the man says against Sanji's forehead, pulling the blond tighter against his chest. He doesn't know what Zoro is apologizing for, and it's probably something he doesn't want to find out.

"It's OK." he says against Zoro's bandaged chest and wraps his arms around the man. It doesn't matter what it is.

He will call Pink. He will gladly give up his life if he can free Zoro from the family, but not now. Let him stay here a little longer. Right now Zoro needs him. He snuggles against the man, and soon the sound of soft snoring lulls him to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **It's a slight pet peeve of mine... I keep seeing Robin address the rest of the crew by their occupations in fics even after Enies Lobby. She only does that before to keep her distance because she's sure she can't trust them with her life even if she's willing to sacrifice her own for theirs. When she finds out that they'd do the same for her, she calls them by their names too. I mean I understand it's often done to in fics to keep her in character, but it's so sad to see her always having so little faith in them. :(**

 **And congratulations Sanji! You've finally graduated from puppy love. :P**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**

 **Happy New Year!**

 **The existence of this chapter is thanks to Siriana2526 and Panda Blackwhite for suggesting reading/study material for me. :)**

 **I haven't written a single word of Chapter 8, but I've given up trying to stay on top of things coz who knows when the next chapter's gonna get written at this rate? :P So I'm posting this now. If I need to edit/rewrite part of this chapter in the middle of writing Chapter 8, I'll just worry about it then. T-T Sorry for the rant. I've been a little pessimistic with my progress lately. I didn't even have the patience to edit this chapter in detail... so let me know if there are errors that are bothering you.**

 **Oh yes, and I've taken quite a few lines/dialogues from the manga/anime in this chapter, modified to fit the story of course.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 7**

"Did you honestly think your swords can reach me when they are dripping in doubt and regret?"

 _Doubt... and regret._

"You're so lucky Zoro, being born a boy."

 _Kuina._

"Let's make a promise! One of us must become the number one swordsman of the world!"

"Stupid, you lost to me already. Fine, I promise you."

 _Liar. You didn't even mean it._

"Humans are really fragile beings, Zoro."

 _No, Sensei, it was my fault. I wasn't able to stop her when I had the chance._

"If it wasn't the sword, if she died in a car accident or something simple like that, would you still be this hung up on it?"

 _Cook?_

"If you didn't make that promise, if you didn't have your dream entrusted to you, would you still be fighting to be the best?"

Those are the cook's words, but that voice... still smoke hazed, but lighter and more innocent compared to the cook's sultry resonance. Who is it?

"Do you fight for her promise's sake, or do you fight for yourself?"

 _I fight for the promise._

"If you didn't see her mood colour at all, would you still doubt whether she meant her promise to you?"

 _Her promise..._

It shouldn't matter what her mood was. Words are sacred. A promise is a promise once the words are spoken. He knows this, and so did she. But she broke her promise. She took her own life instead. It hurts that she took their promise so lightly.

"Zoro, you're so weak, as always."

It hurts almost as much as not being able to hear those mocking words from her ever again. What hurts more, though, is that she believed she couldn't fulfill that promise until the end of her life. She was wrong, but now it's too late for him to prove it to her. The dead don't see. The dead don't hear. The dead don't know.

"Then fight for your half of the promise. Fight for the sake of not going back on your own words."

 _Cook?_ No, it's that boy again.

Now he's waking up to the sounds of angry shouting in a small old hotel room. No one seems to be aware that he's awake because their eyes are all on the pair in the middle of the room under the dim swinging lamp. Usopp is shaking Luffy by the front of his red buttoned shirt. Nami, Vivi, and Chopper are frantically trying to calm the pair down, but their voices are drowned out as the fight goes on.

"Yeah, but so what? And so what if she does? Sanji's not her nakama! She doesn't give a damn! She's just bullshitting us! I don't believe her! We'll protect our own nakama! I'll never give up Sanji! Are you all idiots? Do you listen to that woman like dogs? The nakama I know wouldn't give in to a petty threat! They would believe in Sanji's and Zoro's strength! Stop bluffing, damn brat! Don't say 'I've decided' like you're the real leader! I've misjudged you, Luffy!"

Zoro has a feeling he knows what they're talking about. Usopp's shouting at the wrong person.

"I have made my decision. I won't change it no matter what you say. We're making sure Sanji stays in North Blue, and we're keeping him and Zoro from meeting each other from now on."

That's right. He and the cook won't be seeing each other again. It hurts like when he realized he wouldn't see Kuina again, like cutting off a piece of his own flesh, but it has to be done.

"Bull shit! I won't allow that! Sanji is a nakama too! Did you just think it's too troublesome to fight for him this time? You're abandoning Sanji way too easily!"

 _No, it's my fault, Usopp. Luffy is just shouldering my blame._

"Don't talk like you know everything, bastard! You're not the only one who cares about Sanji!"

"If you care, you wouldn't allow this to happen! I know everyone listens to you as the leader, so fight me! If I win, we take Sanji with us to Alabasta! Monkey D. Luffy, I challenge you to a duel!"

Usopp is now down at the front of the hotel building, shouting the time and place of the duel at Luffy, who's listening from the couch. Nami's trying to talk Luffy into going out and apologizing to Usopp while Vivi and Chopper are on the balcony trying to change Usopp's mind. Zoro tries to decide which side is less futile as the scene fades into the light. Then he remembers. He has cut his ties with the cook. He didn't even ask for the cook's permission. Whatever bonds and memories they have managed to build between them is now completely nonexistent. The next time they meet, they will be strangers. It's his fault. He closes his eyes and pictures the cook's face to try to fill the emptiness in his chest.

 _I need you, Cook. I'm sorry, Cook._

* * *

The funny thing about dreams is that the more Zoro tries to remember them, the faster they slip out of his grasp. He's sure his sexual outburst this morning when he woke up wasn't completely due to his lack of meditation in the last couple weeks. It had at least something to do with the dream he had. It wasn't a wet dream either.

Thanks to that, he was unable to explain to the cook what exactly happened there, but to his initial relief, the cook didn't ask about it, nor did he ask about Saga's attack or the family. No, the cook barely even talked to him after relaying Chopper's orders and showing him his swords (and hiding them again, except for Yubashiri, whose pieces Zoro now keeps in his bed side table) aside from "here's your food" and "time to change the bandages". What's more frustrating is that the cook's mood colour's been soaking in doubtful grey and defeated light purple, and yet he wouldn't ask a single question.

Of course, Zoro has tried a few times to catch the cook's attention and to ask about what's bothering him. By about the 7th attempt it was clear that the blond was pulling out all kinds of excuses to avoid being questioned. Right now the cook is concentrating a little too hard on stirring a pot of clear vegetable soup that obviously doesn't need stirring.

"Oi Cook." Zoro tries once more. This time the cook pretends not to hear him, and it's not working very well because his mood colour just snapped to indigo.

"Cook." Persistence is the key to success.

"Go back to bed. What part of 'You're on bed rest' do you not understand?"

"Tell me what's wrong." Zoro continues.

"I swear to god, if this is about her again..." The cook snarls, but it dies as his angry red settles back to a resigned light purple. For a moment Zoro is utterly confused at the mention of a "her" before he realizes that the cook is referring to Kuina.

"It's not. This is about you sulking like a pain in the ass." Zoro has learned in the past couple weeks that the topic of the blond's moodiness is a hot button even though the blond is a moody mess about 80% of the time. If he ever brings it up, the cook will deny it with all his might and double his moodiness. And that was before Zoro told him about his mood-reading abilities. Just for today though, he has to put his finger on that button, or the cook would just dodge him again.

"Fuck you! You have some nerves to demand explanations from me after telling me _nothing_ when I was swearing up and down that I'll find my birth parents and make them pay!" OK, at least that's what Zoro expected. He takes a deep breath. Might as well get this over with.

"I was adopted when I was 14." he starts, but the cook cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

"Yeah, I can guess most of it from yesterday. I don't want to hear it." the blond says without turning to face Zoro.

"Then what are you sulking about?"

"What made you think I am? Oh of course, you're spying on my mood with your shitty superpower again. How wonderful! It reminds me of that favourite line of yours. How does it go again? Right, it's none of your fucking business!" Zoro can't really argue with that, so he proposes a trade. He doesn't have anything to hide now anyway.

"I'll answer all your questions first. Then you answer mine."

"Fine. What is that guard to you?" the cook asks, slowing down his stirring just slightly. Zoro frowns. He expected the blond to ask about Saga, but that question is a little strange. Zoro fights off the urge to throw a "none of your business" back at him, which is clearly what the blond is after.

"He's my personal guard. The family assigns-"

"No, what does he mean to you personally? Who the fuck cares about their stupid family traditions?" That one's really none of his business. Zoro remains silent for a moment but decides to talk. He did say he'll answer all of the cook's questions.

"He's a childhood friend, someone I can trust in the family."

"Do you love him?" The cook turns to look Zoro square in the eye with his visible blue one. Huh?

"What does that have to-"

"It's OK. Don't answer." the cook shrugs. Fuck. Zoro should've said he'll answer one question and ask one in exchange.

"Love's not real, Cook." A swirl of heart-broken dark blue. The cook simply nods and turns back to stirring the soup.

"Love's not real..." the cook repeats to himself. "That's not what he thinks though." Now he's wrapped in tiny growing dots of light blue curiosity from the solid dark blue background. The pattern gradually dissipates back to light purple as the dots get bigger. It's the first time Zoro's ever seen colours appear together in that way. He raises an eyebrow as he admires the guy's creativity with his own mood. He's so absorbed in this new discovery in mood colours that it takes him a long while before the cook's comment gets processed in his head. What was that? How did the cook get _that_ impression?

"That's between me and him. So... you're sulking because you think I'm not returning my childhood friend's feelings for me?"

"Why did you have sex with me that night you brought me home from the Tabbies? You only wanted to talk, right?" the cook continues, his colour boils into regretful maroon. Is he feeling guilty because he thinks Zoro cheated on Saga with him?

"We're not together. We're just friends." Zoro explains. Normally he wouldn't bother because he doesn't give a shit what others think of him as long as he's at peace with his own conscience, but this isn't about what the cook thinks of him. This is about the cook beating himself up over non-existent crimes.

"With benefits." the blond adds. Zoro has no idea how the blond found out about his agreement with Saga. It doesn't change anything though.

"Yeah, like you and Ace before." Zoro says, but then remembers what Ace said about the blond. "At least for Ace." he adds.

"But he loves you."

"He agreed to our arrangement and gave me his word, so it's not my fault if he let his feelings get in the way. I'm not obligated to return his feelings just because he messed up like that. And that's _if_ it's true." although if it does turn out to be true, he'd have to end their agreement immediately. Zoro watches a flash of doubtful grey twisting in with more heart-broken blue around the cook. The stirring stops.

"What goes on between Saga and me is our business." Zoro reminds the cook.

"Of course." the cook nods, still wrapped in maroon and dark blue.

"So stop letting it get to you. Why do you care? It's not like you know him that well."

"What gets to me is my business." the cook resumes stirring as he counters, copying Zoro's tone from just a few seconds ago. So this whole thing is about this morning and not the family? Zoro feels a wave of guilt. He should've known better than to take it out on the cook this morning. He should've had better control of himself. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten involved with the blond that Friday night in the first place. It gets messy so easily without an agreement beforehand, and the more he tries to clear things up, the messier it seems to get. If the cook's having trouble with the whole "casual sex" thing, Zoro can make sure it doesn't happen again with him.

"Look, I don't know why I lost control this morning, but if you don't want me to touch you again, I promise I won't." Zoro says, and now the whole thing is dark blue. The cook freezes, his task of stirring the pot forgotten.

"OK. If that's what you want." the cook puts down the ladle and mutters after a long pause. Fuck. What's that supposed to mean? Zoro scratches the back of his neck.

"No, just tell me what _you_ want me to do." This is so fucking troublesome. Did Ace put up with _this_ for 5 years?

"What I want you to do? I want you to give me some fucking privacy and keep your mood-reading nose to yourself." the blond snaps, now bathed in indigo. That's it. Zoro's had enough of this game.

"Suit yourself." Zoro says, and that's the last thing that's said between them all night. Zoro avoids looking at the cook altogether to stop himself from seeing the irritating mood colours. As soon as he's finished his clear vegetable soup, he returns to his "bed rest" like he's supposed to. It's not like his concern for the blond is being appreciated. Why does he care anyway?

* * *

By the time Zoro wakes up the next morning, there's no trace of the cook in the room except for the smell of cigarette and an ashtray on the window sill. He finds it absolutely ridiculous that Chopper hasn't mentioned not allowing him second hand smoke when he's not allowed a drop of alcohol. From the amount of cigarette butts in the ashtray and the strength of the smell Zoro can tell that the blond probably didn't sleep last night. His suspicion is confirmed when he finishes changing the bandages and walks into the kitchen to find the blond nodding off while standing over another pot of boiling clear soup. He's actually asleep because Zoro's not seeing any mood colour on him.

"You look like shit." he says as he sits at the counter. His voice visibly startles the cook awake. Light grey confusion followed by indigo annoyance, all normal so far. Not that Zoro's checking. He just happens to see before he can start avoiding the cook.

"Be grateful. I figured you'd be lonely looking like shit by yourself for so long." the cook opens the fridge and passes him a glass of chilled grape juice. Zoro eyes the glass. He's not picky with food, but the cook has always started the morning with milk or orange juice.

"They don't have oranges here?"

"They do, but your injured ass is on liquid diet."

"Orange juice is liquid." Zoro reasons. He's been on this stupid liquid diet thing a couple times before, on Chopper's orders of course. Saga fed him both times. He's never heard of any liquid aside from booze that he's not supposed to have when he's on liquid diet.

"Not liquid enough for you after you got your intestines cut up and sewn back together." the cook serves him a bowl of clear soup. Another flash of maroon regret and dark blue heart-ache makes its way around the slim outline. What now? He's feeling guilty for this too?

"I've been trying to track down Mihawk for years." Zoro tries to explain. The cook turns to him questioningly. "It's my dream to defeat him. I didn't do it to save your ass. There's nothing for you to feel bad about."

"I thought I told you to keep your nose out of my mood, shitty marimo." the cook snaps, but Zoro can see a stream of relaxing dark green slowly replacing the maroon. Zoro snorts and drinks his soup.

When he's done with his food, or drinks, the cook is leaning out the kitchen window and talking to Chopper over the phone, no doubt going over the details of how to annoy Zoro over the next few days until the boy can come and do it himself. Zoro looks down at his empty bowl and glass as he hears the blond yawn in the middle of a sentence. Just a bowl and a glass, no need to trouble the tired looking cook. He walks to the sink and washes them himself. He goes through a few cabinets until he finds spaces to put them, but it doesn't take long.

When he's done putting them away, he catches a glimpse of the blond massaging his own forehead with long pale fingers, unaware of the ashes falling onto his pristine jacket sleeve from the cigarette between his thin lips as he speaks. A veil of light purple defeat glows around him. That idiot probably hasn't slept much since they came back from the castle, or the night before that (thanks to some shitty luck that led them to the wrong beach). The guy should really learn to ask for help with chores. Zoro decides to volunteer himself for cleaning up the kitchen. The cook never skips a meal or allow anyone else to, so he probably ate before Zoro woke up. The swordsman puts the pot of soup back into the fridge and wipes down the counter surfaces and the sink with a towel hanging nearby.

Satisfied with his work, Zoro obediently returns to bed rest. He can think of only one reason a phone call with Chopper might put the idiot cook in such stress. The little doctor's most likely unintentionally guilt-tripping him about not keeping Zoro in bed. It's not like Zoro's going out of his way to make things easy for the blond. There's only one form of training he's allowed to do right now, and it can be done in bed just as well as anywhere else. Zoro takes out the pieces of Yubashiri from his bed side drawer and carefully lays them before his crossed legs as if trying to piece them back into a whole sword. He hasn't thought about what to do with her yet. It's his fault that she's broken to this extent. It's because of his doubt and regret, the weaknesses of his mind and spirit.

He closes his eyes and evens out his breathing, putting his focus on relaxing each muscle. It's been a long time since he successfully meditated. He's in the middle of clearing his thoughts when he hears angry clicking of dress shoes on wooden floors and then the door to his room being slammed open.

"What the fuck did you do in my kitchen, you shitty moss?" Zoro digs a pinky into one ear to soothe his abused eardrum. There goes another attempt at meditation.

"I cleaned up after breakfast. You're welcome."

"You cleaned-... Didn't I tell you not to touch anything in my kitchen, shithead?" the cook continues his screaming. Zoro cracks one eye open and finds the blond burning in angry blood red. What's he so worked up for?

"Well, that's not _your_ kitchen. Chill out, shit cook. Go catch up on some sleep. You're probably cranky because you're sleep deprived."

"I was going to, until you moss brain wiped the _entire_ counter with the towel for the floor and put boiling hot soup into the fridge _without a lid_ and heated up everything else that needs to be kept cold and WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU HIDE YOUR BOWL AND GLASS?" the cook's volume goes up a notch toward the end of that question, and his hand runs forcefully over his face and through his silky hair, momentarily revealing both of his swirling eyebrows and a fading bruise.

The blond's clearly overreacting though. The towel was clean and dry, so who cares what it's used for? It's not like he got mud all over the counter. The fridge just has to work harder to bring the temperature back to normal. It won't take that long. Now what's left is for Zoro to show the steaming cook where the bowl and the glass are. He swings his legs off the bed.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Showing you where I put them?"

"No, _you_ stay in bed and away from my kitchen. Just tell me where to find them."

"The third shelf from the right."

"You put them back on the shelf _dirty_?"

"Relax, I'm not an idiot. I washed them."

"And did you _dry_ them?" Zoro's momentary silence fans the cook's anger into a raging flame around him.

"It's just water. It'll air dry on the shelf." Zoro raises an arm just in time to block what he now knows is a kick powerful enough to crack more of his healing bones, but the foot stops before it connects with the arm, trembling from what must be efforts of self control.

"I promised Chopper not to kick your ass when you're recovering. Don't make it harder than it has to be." the cook grits his teeth and puts down the raised foot, rolling his ankle back and forth and fisting his hands repeatedly. He's clearly fidgety from the lack of stress release, and Zoro happens to know a thing or two about stress. There are three things that work wonders on stress: training, booze, and sleep. It works best to have all three, in that order.

"Try it. This might be your only chance. It's not like you can ever kick my ass when I'm done recovering." Zoro taunts as he slides off the bed and slips into his boots. He might regret it later, but even in his current condition he can still last at least a few kicks. Chopper will fix him again after that. He's a miracle working doctor. Zoro picks up the empty sheath of Yubashiri leaning against the table and walks toward the hallway.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing, you f-..." the cook reaches to grab Zoro's uninjured arm as he passes, but he dodges and gives the blond a challenging grin.

"You want a fight, right? Hallway's got more space." Zoro keeps walking.

"Did moss fill up your ears too? I said I promised Chopper not to fight you!"

"It's not a fight if I'm not using my swords and you..." Zoro turns at the door to give the blond an assessing look. "take off your shoes." That seems to sway the cook slightly as his blood red mood softens in colour to pale red of concern and light grey hesitance. One more push should do it.

"Come on, it'd be just like stretching, or are you scared you'd lose to me even when I'm like this?" Zoro gestures to the bandages and is pleased to see the colours change again to indigo of annoyance and silvery excitement.

"As if a cook would ever lose to a piece of vegetation!" the cook kicks off his perfectly polished dress shoes and follows Zoro into the hallway.

The two of them stand facing each other as they get into their fighting stances, and Zoro waits. He has a feeling that the cook attacks first. There's no reason for it. Some things are just the way they are. Sure enough, the cook sprints and delivers a simple side kick, which Zoro dodges with ease. He's testing the waters. It's a move he starts with when he doesn't know the level of his opponent well enough. Zoro throws a half-assed slice with his sheath as he tries to remember why he knows this about the cook. This is their very first proper sparring session. Sure, they've "faked" a fight a couple days ago at the Vinsmoke castle, but the cook hasn't intentionally attacked him then.

A bare-footed kick lands on Zoro's side and knocks him out of his thoughts when he's just a little too slow with his block. It probably won't crack more bones like it did with shoes, but it still hurts like shit. Zoro stumbles a step or two before looking up to find the smug blond glowing in bright yellow amusement.

"Don't push yourself too hard there." the cook shoves his hands deeper into his pant pockets and smirks, his mood colour just a shade or two lighter than his golden locks. It's a good colour on him, but that smirk needs to go.

"The bandages are in the way." Zoro proceeds to free himself from the bandages as the cook gives an entirely unconvinced hum.

"Don't give Chopper even more reasons to kill me now."

"That's tempting, but no one will know if you don't tell. Plus, he's killed me before. It doesn't hurt that much." Zoro says as he steps into the cook's space and slashes upward with the sheath. It's his turn to attack first this round. This is also just the way it is. He doesn't have a proper sword, so he can't use any of the more powerful one-sword techniques if he wants to keep the only unbroken piece of Yubashiri intact. The cook counters by flipping onto his hands and extending his legs in a spinning kick. There, his hands are his weakness. It'd be a low move to aim there though, so low that Zoro would only do it during a sparring session with fake swords, where it's quite unlikely that he'd injure those precious hands for real. The reason Zoro knows this is also escaping him at the moment, but he decides to try it anyway. He hops out of the reach of those powerful legs and crouches to sweep the sheath along the wooden floor, timing it so that the cook wouldn't see it coming.

" _Fuck_!" the cook lands on his back with a loud _thud_ and promptly sits up to examine his hands, his silvery excitement snaps to pale red concern. "Shitty moss..." he mutters and glares at Zoro when he confirms that they're relatively unharmed.

"Guard them properly if you don't want them injured." Zoro casually taps his own shoulder with the sheath.

"How the fuck did you know I don't want my hands injured?" the cook frowns at Zoro. For a moment Zoro mirrors the frown as he tries to remember how he knows, but he quickly gives up and shrugs when nothing comes up.

"Just a hunch."

The third round quickly degenerates into a wrestling match. Zoro topples over when the cook tries to choke him by pushing on the sheath with those precious hands, and soon the sheath is abandoned along with all the unspoken rules for a proper sparring session. All that's left is the spirit of competition as they take turns trying to pin each other to the floor. Zoro doesn't mind though. It's been too long since he's had a satisfying sparring match.

He tries to recall when the last one was as he throws the cook to his side and rolls on top. With Kuina it was never sparring. Every fight with her was a challenge to his own limits where he put in 120% of everything he had and still came out short. Sparring with Saga was always one-sided and felt more like he was practicing techniques on his own. When exactly _was_ the last time? Maybe with Luffy?

"Shit!" the cook's breathless curse pulls him from his thoughts. Neither of them is struggling anymore, both panting from exertion. Zoro is still on top and pinning the cook's limbs with his own, which makes him the winner of this round. It doesn't seem to be what the cook is cursing about though. Zoro follows the blond's line of sight and looks down at his healing torso... or supposedly healing torso. Shit indeed. He's torn his stitches and is dripping blood onto the cook's crisp white dress shirt.

"Get off!" the cook gives him an unsympathetic shove, and Zoro, still breathing heavily, rolls onto his back beside the blond, who immediately sits up and obsesses with the stain on his shirt. After several minutes of pinching and poking, the blond throws his head back onto the floor with a defeated sigh.

"I don't want to see Chopper tomorrow."

"Neither do I." Zoro agrees, propping his head up to check out the bleeding wound. "But at least I won't be dying alone." he adds, and the cook bursts into a fit of laughter so contagious Zoro can't help but join in. The two of them stay side by side on the floor for a while, passing broken chuckles back and forth until they eventually die down and are replaced by a calming silence. Zoro looks to the cook to find him wrapped in blissful yellow and grinning at the ceiling like an idiot, his curtain of blond hair falling off the side of his face to reveal the healing bruise Zoro gave him a couple days ago.

Zoro reaches out to touch the bruise without thinking, but his hand stops in its track when the blond, clearly having spotted Zoro's action in his peripheral vision, drops the grin and glows in the heart-broken dark blue that matches the bruise. The blond doesn't turn to face him, nor does he move away. Instead, he closes his eyes softly and pinches his swirly eyebrows in a slight frown, as if trying to stay calm in anticipation of something painful... no, _hurtful_. Zoro pulls back his hand with a jerk and gets up to return the sheath to its place against the table. He promised not to touch the cook again. He almost broke that promise.

The cook still hasn't moved from his spot in the hallway when Zoro finishes wrapping himself up in bandages again. He's sitting there staring at one of the large hallway windows, wrapped in a cloud of cigarette smoke that blends seamlessly into his confused grey mood indicating he's deep in thought. Time for step two of the stress removal plan. Zoro marches right into the kitchen and comes back with a cup and the first alcoholic looking bottle he sees. It's a bottle of wine. Zoro is relieved to find that it's been open before. He's not sure if the cook can handle much more of him going through kitchen to find the bottle opener. He sits down beside the cook, uncorks the bottle, and fills the cup. It takes a couple nudges before the cook turns to see what Zoro wants.

"Didn't I tell you no alcohol, shitty moss?" he glares at Zoro.

"Why does it matter? Chopper's gonna kill us both anyway." the blond tilts his head and gives a slight nod in agreement before taking the cup. Zoro brings the bottle to his lips to take a swig. It tastes like piss, not that Zoro knows what piss tastes like, but if it has a specific taste it's probably something like this: Sour and flat, not nearly strong enough to give a kick, like fruit juice that's been watered down and gone bad. Come to think of it, that's literally what it is. What the cook likes about this stuff is-

"We're not even on Grand Line, and it's snowing in the middle of July. No wonder it's been freezing these couple days." the cook turns back to staring at the window, twirling the cup gently in his hand as if it's a real wine glass. Zoro follows his gaze and catches sight of fluttering snow flakes obscuring the view of the still dark green branches near by. It came a bit late this year.

"Pretty cool, isn't it? You've probably never been here when it happens, but it snows here every summer for a month or two, only in this town. It's a mystery phenomenon only the weather witch understands." Zoro explains and feels a sharp elbow to his side, which he assumes is for calling the weather witch a witch. The cook needs to lighten up. He's sure the title doesn't bother Nami in the least. Besides, he meant that as a compliment.

"I've been here when it snowed before, but I guess maybe it was winter then. We were stranded here from the snow, and poor Nami was sick at the time with something that almost ended up killing her. Luffy was so desperate to get a doctor to see her that he carried her all the way up here from the mountain base in his slippers. I followed along to help him fend off the attacks from the overgrown snow-rabbits around here, but those bastards brought an avalanche on us when they couldn't land any hits." the cook chuckles with a bittersweet expression, glowing in alternating shades of pale red and bright yellow at the piece of memory he apparently holds dear. "That's how we met Chopper too. He was the one who saved Nami, and Luffy asked him to join the group right away." he adds, taking a large gulp to empty his cup of wine.

Zoro frowns as he listens. He remembers being stranded here in the snow with a sick Nami and a desperate Luffy once a few years ago, maybe not in quite as much detail. He remembers Usopp and Vivi there, but he definitely doesn't remember seeing a curly-browed blond cook back then. Maybe Nami's been sick twice? That's possible, but he remembers Luffy asking Chopper to join the group too. Surely that happened only once. Zoro studies the cook for a minute and decides that he's telling the truth. He shrugs inwardly and drops the thought in favour of filling the cook's cup again.

"And come to think of it, I'd be your _older_ brother." the cook gives his newly filled cup a sip and smirks. Zoro raises an eyebrow at him. "I mean my name's Sanji, as in the third, and you're Yonji, the fourth." he explains.

"As if you really consider yourself part of that family."

"No, but it's still a win for me." the cook leans back on his hands with a grin.

"I didn't know being older and closer to death counts as a win."

"Being older doesn't mean I'm closer to death, you idiot. It just means I'm higher rank than you. I mean look at you! You're obviously way closer to death than I am." the blond gestures to the bandages.

"You don't even know if you're older than me. I'm fourth because they just took me in to replace the dead kid." Zoro counters. The mention of the dead kid seems to silence the cook for a little while. Maybe he remembers the original Yonji?

"Is that why you never call me by my name? It reminds you of the family?" the cook asks in a thoughtful voice.

"No," Zoro lies with a grin, "I just enjoy annoying you." The comment earns him an eye roll from the cook.

"I have to say that old fart's got some wicked naming sense. That code name suits you so well... _Winch Green Marimo_!"

"Tch, they must've given you a code name too, something equally embarrassing?"

"Ha, like I'm gonna tell you just so you can laugh at me."

"Oh it wouldn't be hard to figure out. Blue's taken, so Yellow? Swirling Yellow."

"What did you say?"

"Pervert Yellow."

"Fuck you!"

"Nose-bleed Yellow." That's a good one, although Zoro can't remember when he's ever seen the cook with a nose-bleed.

"I'm _so_ gonna kick your ass properly when you're done recovering." the blond snaps, now bathed in indigo, and Zoro takes a swig to celebrate pissing off the cook. "Wait, where did you get this?" the cook snatches the bottle from Zoro after another big gulp.

"Kitchen. Where else? I didn't touch anything else this time. You said drinks and cups are exceptions." Zoro adds before the cook explodes again, but it doesn't seem to help. Zoro watches in complete confusion as another storm of angry red engulfs the blond.

"You fucking idiot! They don't sell alcohol here in Drums you know! That's the last bottle I have, and I was saving it for marinating the beef for the feast tomorrow!" the blood red snaps to light purple as the blond eyes the bottle again. "And you just drank from the bottle didn't you?"

"What feast?"

"To celebrate you getting your ass kicked by Mihawk, obviously." Zoro shouldn't be surprised. It's probably Luffy who's throwing a feast over any excuse he can find.

"Just get Robin to bring you a new bottle. She knows about this shit." Zoro takes the bottle and taps the cook's cup lightly in an attempt to speed up the process of getting him drunk enough to fall asleep. It seems to be working because the cook drains it before returning to his bitching.

"This one was from Water 7! You can't get it in East Blue, you shithead! Besides, I can't trouble a lady with petty errands like this..."

"Tch, how much difference can there be? They all taste like piss." Zoro fills the cup once more. That should do it. It might take a while before it works into the blond's system, but three cups is more than enough to help him sleep. No need to waste alcohol, even if it's wine. Zoro takes another swig and swallows as quickly as possible so that he doesn't have to dwell on the taste.

As expected, the bitching dies down almost completely by the time Zoro finishes the bottle himself. He looks over to the red-faced blond sprawling on the floor next to him, still muttering insults and struggling to keep his eyes open. The cook's a total wuss to begin with when it comes to alcohol, but he must've been tired for _wine_ to work this well. Zoro nudges him with the empty bottle.

"Oi Cook, don't sleep here. You'll hurt your back." the cook snores loudly in response. Zoro lets out a sigh as he stands up and heaves the blond over his shoulder. The cook mutters incoherently to Zoro's bandaged back as the swordsman tries to steady the balance while keeping his hands clear of the cook's ass. He grins to himself when he stops by the side of the cook's bed, thinking of how best to piss off the blond later with the fact that he just got passed-out drunk from three cups of wine with barely 10% alcohol content. He leans forward to let the cook's ass fall heavily onto the bed, and the cook's completely limp head slides along his shoulder as he tries to stand straight again. So drunk, Zoro smirks.

 _"You're quiet today." he whispered, feeling the warmth of the cook's ear shell against his lips and thoroughly enjoying the resulting shiver through his hand as it passed by the back of the blond's neck._

 _"I'm not drunk." the cook replied into his shoulder, stubbornly trying to sound unaffected but failing miserably, nails digging into the bandages on his chest._

Zoro inhales sharply as he feels the tight coil of want in his stomach brought on by the flashback. He jumps back and catches the now unconscious cook by the shoulders just before he falls off the bed. He quickly lays the cook down on the bed and escapes the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He sits down with his back against the door and closes his eyes, hoping meditation would finally work for him this time.

* * *

Luffy is, surprisingly, missing from the feast he asked for, and Ace is here in his stead. It's almost their agreed dinner time, and Chopper's finally finished fussing over Zoro and (only figuratively) killing both him and the blond. The boys followed Franky outside not long ago to admire his newly built snow-ball machine, and the cook is busy preparing dinner in the company of his precious ladies. Zoro is hiding out in his temporary bedroom and working his way through a bottle of booze he came across among the groceries Ace brought. They have enough for the feast. It doesn't hurt for him to take one as long as Chopper doesn't find out.

"I heard you almost died?" Ace pokes his head into his view. "Have you been keeping my blond happy? Or do I need to break your leg?" he teases.

"Tch, like you can. And I thought ' _your_ blond' is that Marco guy you met from Whitebeard's place." Zoro says without bothering to turn to the man.

"Ah... yes well... I've kinda been dumped yesterday." Ace confesses, and Zoro tenses as unease overtakes his body for no apparent reason. He takes a swig and remains silent.

"I have a favour to ask of you." Ace speaks again, this time in a much more serious tone. He pauses for a long moment, as if trying to find the right words. "Sanji's in love with you. Love at first sight. I'm sure of it." Zoro listens as he considers what Ace can possibly want him to do about that.

"I don't feel that way about him." he offers. Ace has got to be insane to ask him anything along the lines of "please return his feelings". It doesn't work that way.

"I _know_ you don't. That's not what I'm asking." Ace says, and it set off a strange urge in Zoro to feel offended. "Look, I didn't know I'd put Sanji in danger when I asked you to let him stay at your place. Now that I know he's not safe around you, I've been trying to convince him to move back to my place, but he won't listen. He said he'll stay here with you until you're done recovering. You know how he is, that stubborn ass." Ace trails off with a frown, glowing in pale red of worry. Zoro feels a wave of anger, as if Ace has overstepped some kind of boundary.

"I want you to just tell him how you feel about him. If he hears it directly from you, maybe he'll be more willing to distance himself. That way it's safer for both of you, right?" the freckled man finishes. Zoro goes over the proposition in his head. It sounds entirely logical, very reasonable, so why does it feel as invasive as being told what he's doing wrong in the care of his swords? There are way too many things out of place about the blond that he just can't pinpoint lately. He needs a clear picture of what Ace is really trying to do to lighten the fog in his mind.

"Didn't you say he can't stay at your place because your boyfriend is jealous? That's why you wanted him at my place to begin with. Is that why you got dumped?"

"Ouch... haha, blunt as always." Ace scratches his head. "Yeah, that's kinda why he's mad. He'll get over it though... I think."

"I don't get it. Isn't the cook just an ex to you, same status as that Marco guy as of yesterday? Why would you go out of your way to risk your current relationship to 'help' him, especially after he turned down your help?" Zoro turns to look closely at the freckled man's mood colour. He stays quiet for a while, slowly engulfed in a cloud of maroon regret.

"Luffy and I used to have another brother, one that I failed to protect. Sanji reminds me of him sometimes. I don't want to fail again." Ace finally says as a trail of light green affection mixes into the maroon. It's a colour Zoro hasn't seen anywhere except on Ace, a colour he reserves for Luffy and maybe now the cook. For reasons beyond Zoro's comprehension, seeing this colour puts him at ease and makes him to stop feeling like a defensive brat under threat.

"Have I met him before? The cook, I mean." Zoro asks before he catches himself. It's a question that's been appearing at the back of his mind for some time now, but he has no idea why he'd ask that. The question sounds silly even to his own ears. Surely he'd remember if he's met the blond before, especially with his resemblance to the family members.

"You've met him two weeks ago, and you've been seeing him everyday. What are you talking about?" Right, but...

"I mean before that, like years ago. You've known him for years, right? Do you know if we've met before?" Zoro presses. Ace swallows visibly and looks away.

"Not that I know of. Wouldn't you remember if you did?" He answers lightly. That's what Zoro thought, but Ace sounds strange. Zoro studies the man. There's no yellow amusement, nor grey confusion in his mood colour. Instead, it's twisting in regretful maroon, scheming light brown, and a couple drops of black fear. Zoro grabs a fistful of beads from his necklace and pulls him to the swordsman's face.

"You're lying. Tell me what you know." Zoro growls, but the resolve in Ace's eyes only hardens as he remains silent. Finally Zoro lets go.

"Fine. I'll just ask Nami or Usopp." Zoro says as he stalks toward the kitchen. This seems to frighten the freckled man a bit as he grabs onto Zoro's arm and stops him.

"Wait, don't cause a ruckus in there! I'll tell you what I know already, so keep it down!"

"Ok, spill." Zoro turns to face the freckled man and crosses his arms.

"I've only found out about this at the party at your apartment the day Sanji moved in. Nami told us when you were in the washroom and blondie was in the kitchen. You met him the same time he joined the group when you were both 15, when Luffy helped save his restaurant from a bunch of ungrateful thugs that tried to rob the place after Sanji saved them from being starved to death. Nami said it was hate at first sight. The first thing he said to you was that you're the type that tends to die young, and you've hated each other ever since. At some point you were so obsessed with picking petty fights with each other all day long that the rest of the group agreed that you probably had mutual crushes on each other." Zoro snorts in disbelief.

"But one day you just told Luffy you were cutting ties with Sanji because of some problems with your adoptive family. You never explained why or how in detail, and the next thing they knew, your memories of each other had been wiped clean. Luffy stood by your decision and told the rest of the group to never let you and Sanji meet again. It was hard on the others though, especially Usopp. He had a huge fight with Luffy because of it and almost left the group."

This crazy story is making more sense to Zoro than it should. So many things click into place in his mind. Why he kept dreaming of a fight between Luffy and Usopp, why Nami tried to keep him away from her restaurant at random times over the years, why the whole group vaguely knew about the problem with his family and the cook, why he can't remember when or why he started the habit of clearing his phone histories, why his guard knew exactly who the cook was at first glance, why he knew all kinds of stupid little details about the cook that he was never told, why he remembers the same event as the cook but doesn't remember meeting him. Among all the things that are just starting to make sense, though, is one thing that clearly doesn't.

"What do you mean our memories were wiped clean?"

"I don't know. That's all Nami told us." Ace shrugs then sighs. "So you see why we have to keep this a secret from blondie. He's the crazy type that believes in fate and soul mates and all that crap, so regardless of what you _don't_ feel for him now, he'd draw a direct line between the fact that you two met as strangers twice and... well... fate. There's no way he'd leave you alone after that."

"And you think telling me won't change my mind?" It's not a rhetorical question. Zoro honestly doesn't know why Ace would trust him to hold his head straight through a story this crazy, and he's not sure if Ace should at the moment. He doesn't believe in fate, of course, but knowing that he has such a history with the blond cook is doing weird things to his stomach.

"You kinda gave me no choice there... but I'm not worried about it. You're the type that won't let impulses and emotions override reason, so it should be clear to you that you're both different people now from when you were 15. Whether you were attracted to him back then should have no bearing on what you feel for him now. It's not like you'd suddenly become madly in love with him just because you found out you liked him 6 years ago when you were both hormonal teenagers."

Fair enough. It's decided then. The task is easy, and there's no point delaying it. He gives Ace a final nod of agreement and marches into the kitchen.

"Cook, we need to talk." he declares as soon as he passes through the door.

"Later. Can't you see I'm cooking, shitty moss?" the cook replies, glowing in the familiar indigo as he stirs a pot of noodles. There's a moment of silence before the girls quickly find excuses and leave. Zoro's not even sure what excuses they used as he tries to keep his focus on the task at hand despite the distractions his body is trying to throw at him to lead him off course. His palms sweat. His throat tightens. His stomach twists uncomfortably. His chest clenches. _Focus_ , he repeats in his mind and tries to tune out everything else.

"What is it?" the cook asks after a while, not bothering to look up from the pot.

"I can take care of myself. You don't have to stick around." Zoro starts and feels a bout of searing pain through his core. _Focus_ , he repeats once more. When the cook doesn't respond, Zoro continues.

"Ace told me you're in love with me."

"That shitty freckles... I told him to mind his own-"

"I don't feel that way about you." Zoro cuts him off, and immediately the searing pain returns with more intensity than before. Zoro bites the inside of his cheek and bears it. _Focus_. Distractions are to be avoided. Pain is to be faced directly. Not the other way around. And both are to be endured and overcome, not to succumb to. The task is simple, and it's almost done.

"So you're saying you don't need me here, and you want me to leave." the cook concludes, enveloped in painful dark blue that seems to echo the pain that's trying to pull Zoro away from his task.

"Yeah. That's right." Zoro spits out the words against a crashing wave of "no"s resounding in his head. Being around the cook has made him weak, to the point that he's now struggling with the control of his own mind. He stays his ground as he watches swirls of blood red work their way into the cook's mood. It's fine this way. The cook will get angry, blow off some steam on him, and be over it.

Silence stretches between them, and the explosion Zoro's expecting from the blond never comes. The blond sighs gently over the boiling pot, never once turning to look at Zoro.

"I see. I'll go with Ace tonight after the feast, so just let me cook in peace for now." he says with a small awkward smile. Zoro realizes as he turns and walks out the door that what he saw around the cook was not blood red anger, but the slightly brighter shade of flame red determination. He doesn't know what reckless shit the blond is planning to pull off now, but at least he'll be away from Zoro and the family.

The blond will be safe, relatively speaking, and that's what matters.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry Sanji, I tried, but Zoro insisted on being dumb.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**

 **It's been over a month since I last updated, and I'm afraid this will be the fastest speed I'll be able to go from now on. It's been hard finding time and space to write these days, not to mention I'm not feeling particularly inspired by this part of the story... *sweats***

 **This chapter is not yet edited in detail because... I just finished writing it half an hour ago. If there are mistakes you spotted, please let me know. If you see a word in all caps, it's likely meant to be italic unless someone is shouting. :P**

 **Happy early Valentines Day! (But this chapter is rather unromantic for the occasion.)**

 **More notes at the end.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 8**

Sanji is once again in the passenger seat of Ace's car, being driven by the narcoleptic freckles down the highway in the middle of the night to the place he once thought of as his second home. Only this time, he doesn't feel the urge to yell and kick and demand to be driven back. The blond's been staring out the window on his right with unfocused eyes, frequently swallowing to try to clear the persistent lump in the back of his throat. He curls himself further into the light winter jacket from Ace (because Sanji really didn't pack for snow in July, and Ace, like Franky, can go shirtless regardless of the weather and season) and allows himself to be lost in thought.

He's already decided that he's OK with having nothing from Zoro in return. As impulsive a decision as that was, he doesn't intend on changing his mind. It's not like Zoro owes him anything for being the unfortunate object of his affections. He fell in love on his own accord after all. He _knows_ these things, but there they are again, the pain and disappointment when he heard Zoro's feelings finally spelled out for him, and the bitterness and stubborn attachment after the words sank in, just like back then with Ace.

How long did it take him to get over the fact that he could never have what he wanted with Ace? He doesn't even remember clearly. Was he hanging on to false hope right up to the last second of their so-called relationship? Or did he numb himself to the struggle at some point over the years? It hasn't even been 3 months since Ace finally dumped him, and he has forgotten already. It's not that Sanji thinks particularly lowly of himself for having and then forgetting these feelings. This is human nature after all, and human beings are ugly creatures at times. People greedily long for what's not rightfully theirs, becoming childishly bitter and resentful when it's not given to them, and then they heartlessly forget their attachment when it's convenient.

Luckily, Sanji's plan from now on involves not seeing Zoro again anyway. He has stolen the unsuspecting marimo's phone and used it to call the lady named "Pink" before he left Drums, and she has agreed to pick him up from a park near Ace's place at 2am. After that all Sanji has to do is to send Saga to the moss ball to stop him from ever wanting to get back in touch with the family. He's sure Saga will get the job done, for the guard's own sake and for Zoro's, since he was able to convince Sanji to take Zoro's place. Once inside the family, the blond will have as long as he needs to soothe his aching heart and to forget he ever met the man. From what he heard at the castle last time, he doubts he'll be seeing much of any of his friends then. They'll be assigning him a guard/spy to watch him like a hawk. Nobody will bring up the subject. It's perfect. He'll forget even faster this time.

"You can cry. I won't laugh at you... this once." Ace breaks him from his thoughts.

"Fuck off. I don't cry."

"Yeah, only about twice a month. That doesn't count." Ace snorts, clearly trying to piss off the blond for who knows why. Sanji exhales heavily as he finds himself too tired to get worked up over such an obvious taunt. He doesn't understand anything Ace is doing today, including showing up at the feast in the first place.

"What did you come for anyway?"

"Your food of course, and you're the one who said you needed a bottle of wine and groceries."

"I also said you should mind your own business."

"Look, I thought it'd help to give him a little pressure-"

"Don't lie, shitty freckles. I know you better than that. You _knew_ he had zero feelings for me to begin with. There was _nothing_ for you to help." Sanji swallows as the knot in his throat tightens again. "Why do you want me back in your apartment so badly even when Marco's pissed?" Not that he'll be in that apartment for long though, but Ace doesn't need to know that.

"Ah, you know. He's... uh... not worth your time."

"Since when do _you_ care about what's worth _my_ time, Mr. We're-only-ex-fuck-buddies? Fine, don't tell me what you're plotting." Sanji snaps, and Ace seems to take it as a sign that he's off the hook.

"I'm serious though. He's not worth your time if he'll just turn into another _me_ for you." Ace says softly. Sanji pretends not to hear him and returns to staring into the pitch black view outside the window. His mind wanders to the morning Zoro woke up, to those desperate and pleading eyes above him on the hospital carpet.

 _I need you, Cook._

Sanji's chest clenches painfully. Zoro needed him in a way Ace never did, and now he doesn't. There was no doubt in Sanji's mind that he'd do anything Zoro needed him to do, and now there's nothing more needed of him. Whatever that dream was about, it must've been unpleasant enough to shake the normally stoic man to that state. Does he wish for Zoro to suffer just so that he can feel needed again? He leans and rolls his head forcefully against the cold window in disgust. He's a mere human after all, destined to struggle in the filth of these unjustifiable desires all the days of his life... Or is it not all human beings, but only him who's this ugly inside?

"Oi Freckles, was it tiring for you back when you were my... when we had that thing going?"

"Oh trust me. It's still tiring for me."

"No, I mean am I... just a selfish bastard? I can't seem to stop myself from wanting more than what I'm entitled to whenever it comes to ... love, or whatever."

"Huh? Weren't you always spewing crap about how you offer love freely and expect nothing in return like a gentleman should?" Ace chuckles, and Sanji frowns. That's true. That's always his policy with the ladies, so why doesn't it work with men? Sanji doesn't reply, and Ace continues.

"Love _is_ selfish, blondie. It's not love unless you want something from it for yourself." Ace says slowly and pauses, as if trying to give the words a chance to sink in. "If you don't, it's just charity, and I don't mean it in a nice way. Charity is easy. It can be done anytime, anywhere, for anyone you choose. You just have to convince yourself to do what they want you to do and then go through the motions. You don't even have to know them or think about them. It won't hurt you either if it turns out to be one-sided. That's why it's cheap. Love has value only because there's real struggle."

"Since when do _you_ know so much about love?" Sanji asks in his best irritated voice.

"Since you finally shut up about knowing love so well you can write a book on it. See, you've got it backwards for years. You've only been in love with two people in your life, with me for way longer than with Zoro. The rest were just charity." Ace says with a smug grin.

"What? I was never..." Sanji protests. He wasn't. Right? It never felt like love with Ace.

"Just because it doesn't tickle your inner maiden heart and give you butterflies doesn't mean it's not love," Ace chuckles, "and it was tiring for me watching you deny yourself the right to at least _ask_ for what you wanted. I mean I know you get turned on by stuff like that-"

"Fuck you! I don't get turned on by that!" the blond snaps and feels the burn on his face from a fierce blush.

"You're right, you don't. Neither does Zoro ever get lost." Sanji promptly leaves a foot print on the side of the guy's head and whips out a cigarette. What Ace is saying can't be right. There's no way that bubbly feeling he experienced so many times before isn't love. What about that beautiful Moodie who always comes to the Baratie with that despicable Fullbody? Or what about that cute police lady Tashigi? Or that sweet waitress Connis? Or that lovely new cook Carmen? Or Kalifa who always scolds him? Or Camie who always praises his cooking? Ishily? Viola?... All of those were fake? And what, he's been in love with the damn freckles the whole time instead? That's absurd. Sanji should be laughing, but the fit of laughter never comes.

Instead, his shoulders feel lighter, and he finds it easier to breathe as he considers which of the two he hates more: the thought of being an emotionally messed up selfish bastard who couldn't sacrifice properly for the one he loves because he has trouble surrendering his own wants, or the thought that he's been offering cheap charity instead of true love to the goddesses who have graced his life. It could just be the cigarette calming his nerves, but on rare occasions Ace's sparks of wisdom can have the same effect on him.

"Why didn't you say something all those years? Did you enjoy watching me run in circles for you, you creep?"

"I didn't know what to say. I want you to be loved, but I didn't want to feel attached to you."

"So what is it, you just played around with my feelings for 5 years all the while complaining about it being tiring?"

"... If you put it that way, that does sound pretty bad." Ace says guiltily. It almost sounds like an apology. Almost. There's no way Sanji's letting the nosy freckles off the hook this easily after everything he stirred up today, so the blond lets the awkward almost-apology hang in the air in silence for the rest of the drive. Every time Ace tries to speak, Sanji makes it clear that the silence is intentional by glaring daggers his way. It's not until they're back in the small old apartment with all Sanji's bags that the blond decides that Ace has been punished enough.

"It's OK. I don't regret it." he says to the freckled man, who's been nervously avoiding eye contact and opening bags to help with the unpacking. Ace looks up at him like a hesitant puppy.

"I said I don't regret being with you for that long. It's not like I had better things to do with all that time. You've taught me a lot." Sanji throws himself onto the couch with a nearby blanket and closes his eyes. "And forget about unpacking. I'm tired. Let's just sleep." He'd have to pack everything again after Ace goes to sleep, so the less unpacking they do now the better. Not to mention it's already 12:30, and he still has a few things to do before meeting Pink at the park. He's surprised when he feels a hand gently combing through his hair.

"Hmm, I did teach you a lot. How about a review session in my bed? It's been a while since the last time I was free of obligations, and it'll help you..." Ace's voice moves closer to his ear in a whisper, "sleep off your worries, the good ol' way."

Without bothering to open his eyes, the irritated cook brings up a shoe-less foot and gives the source of the voice a satisfying kick. Sanji smirks to himself as he rolls himself on the couch to face away from the resulting crash. He's probably the only one who can deliver a kick that strong from that angle, thanks to his inhuman flexibility.

"Ouch, I feel rejected. You didn't have to kick so hard." The blond hears Ace grumble as he stands up.

"Apparently not hard enough. Isn't this why Marco's pissed? Of course he'd misunderstand if you keep joking like that with others. Learn some boundaries, idiot freckles!" Sanji snarls into the back of the couch and waits for a cheeky come-back Ace always throws when being accused, but there's silence instead. He turns and sits up to find the man pouting at him like a child who's being blamed for someone else's mischief.

"If that's the problem, it'd be easy to fix." Ace visibly slumps at the thought. "There's no misunderstanding. We're just not seeing the same things."

"Tell me." Sanji leans back on the couch and crosses his legs. If Ace needs his ears, then he has time to listen even if he has to tell Pink to come later.

"You see, he's balding, but he just won't seek help. I keep telling him that, and he thinks I'm making it up to make fun of his hair." Sanji raises an eyebrow. Ace smirks. That damn freckles, he's dodging the question again. "Don't worry though. I'll buy him a mirror tomorrow. Then he'll see what I'm talking about." Ace adds as he quickly makes his way to the room and waves the cook goodnight. The door snaps shut before Sanji could call him out on his bullshit. Sanji contemplates the option of kicking down that door and demanding explanations, but the freckles rarely keeps secrets from him. The blond decides to let Ace have his privacy this once in favour of having him go to sleep sooner. It's doesn't take long before he hears loud snoring from the door.

He quietly throws together a dozen meaty sandwiches for Ace and Luffy in the morning in case the boy comes back from his current adventure. It's a breakfast option that's still good when cold because he can't really count on the brothers to have the patience to reheat anything. He checks to make sure all his bags are once again packed and takes out a pen and a piece of paper to leave a note.

 _Shitty Freckles,_

 _There are sandwiches for you in the fridge. If Luffy still doesn't show up tomorrow, finish his share for lunch or dinner. I'm going back to the Baratie to cool off a bit on my own, so don't bother me._

 _Sanji_

That should be enough to stop Ace from questioning his disappearance for at least a little while. Sanji reads over the note and considers if this could be the last thing he ever gets to say to his first love and almost-brother. He frowns and picks up the pen again.

 _ps. I know I make it sound like I hate your ass most of the time, but I do appreciate having you in my life and all that you've done for me over the years._

Shit. Did he make it too obvious that it's a goodbye note? He crumples up the sheet of paper, shoves it into a pocket, and takes out a new one to rewrite the main message.

 _ps. Patch things up with Marco soon. I know you don't want to lose him._

There. At least he won't regret those being his last words to Ace. He leaves it on the fridge door and digs out Zoro's silenced phone once more from his pant pocket. He had to silence it soon after stealing it the day Zoro woke up because it just wouldn't stop buzzing. Luckily the marimo is a technophobe who would rather spend time clearing his phone history than set up a password. Sanji was surprised to find that Pink is in his contacts, but it makes sense that Zoro would know her if she's connected to the family somehow. He brings up the number for Saga, who has sent over 40 messages in the last three days besides unanswered calls.

 _Hey shithead, it's me. The lady will pick me up soon. Go keep the moss head company so he doesn't get homesick._

Sanji purposely keeps the message free of names in case it finds its way to some unintended readers. He figures he'll have to make a habit of these things from now on. The reply comes within the minute.

 _Thanks... for doing this for him._

Ha, now that kinda ruins his mood. Come to think of it, Sanji's not doing this entirely for Zoro's sake. Well he is, but not entirely in the sacrificial sense that Saga was talking about the other day. This is his own family's problem after all. If he hadn't escaped as a child, he'd still be the heir, and Zoro likely wouldn't have been dragged into this mess. He's just going back to clean up after himself. It's more atonement than sacrifice, but he'd rather not tell the guard that.

 _Hearing that from you doesn't make me happy. You'd better keep him safe since you're such an expert at it._

 _I know what to do. You don't have to tell me._

The guy's still as unpleasant as before, but now Sanji can vaguely understand that he, too, is going through the struggles of love. How long has it been for him? Sanji fiddles with the phone in his hand. It must've been years if he really infiltrated the family for Zoro, and the clueless moss ball doesn't know a thing. Why hasn't the guard told him though? Afraid of being rejected? Afraid of losing him as a friend? If that's the case, Saga's pretty arrogant for a coward.

Not that Sanji should judge though. He dodged the question himself when Zoro asked what's bothering him. At first it was because he thought there was something beyond the bedroom activities between the moss and his guard, and when he found out that wasn't the case...

 _"Love's not real, Cook."_

What did he think he was doing? Being considerate by not pressuring the marimo into something he doesn't believe in? The cook snorts under his breath. He's a pathetic liar. As if someone like Zoro, who's about as stubborn as a bull in his beliefs, would get "pressured" by something as inconsequential as hearing about someone else's feelings. Well no, that's not what he was doing. He was... making selfless sacrifices for Zoro's safety and freedom, and considering Zoro's temperament, such a sacrifice must be done in secret... right?

That's a rather elaborate excuse he's come up with. His brain must've put some major effort into that one. He was probably just afraid of the rejection he knew was coming. Sanji was being a coward, just like Saga, and there's no place for a coward in Zoro's life. The closest they can get is to exist in his living space.

Sanji checks the time and decides he should probably head out. The number of bags he has to carry to the park might require a bit of planning and balancing, especially with all the cooking equipment Saga brought for him from Zoro's apartment. He takes off the jacket he borrowed from Ace and rolls his shoulders in preparation.

* * *

Sanji rests the bags on the floor and searches for a cigarette in silent dread as the elevator door closes behind him, the same door that revealed the murderous guard a few days ago. He should've known. This is the Vinsmoke's building. He pulls out a cigarette and looks to the girl apologetically.

"Sorry, does it bother you, Miss Cosette?"

"Please don't call me that, Master Sanji, and you don't have to concern yourself with my comfort. I'm just a guard, sir. Please think of me as your servant." the girl bows nervously. It took him quite a bit of effort to convince her not to carry his bags for him too. The words sound so wrong coming from her every time, but maybe just once, Sanji might like hearing these same words from that marimo's snobby guard instead.

"Then don't be so formal with me, Cosette. Of course your comfort is my concern. A lady as beautiful as you are should always be treated with utmost care." he puts away his cigarette and gently takes one of her hands. The girl blushes.

"P-please excuse me!" she bows deeply and turns to lead the way out of the elevator as soon as the door opens. Twenty-third floor, apartment number 2302. Sanji sighs as the girl fumbles with the keys in front of the door. It just has to be this way.

"Please excuse the mess. We haven't had the chance to clear out the apartment for you because of the short notice. If you wouldn't mind, please have a rest here for the night. We will have the place cleaned and the lock replaced tomorrow morning." Cosette helps Sanji with some of his bags and switches on the living room light. Sanji looks around the apartment and feels the lump in his throat tighten again as he finds everything looking almost exactly the same as he remembered from the night Zoro dragged him out to see the sunrise. Speaking of existing in his living space...

"Don't worry about clearing things out. I like it the way it is. It'd be great if you could just change the lock for me tomorrow." Sanji smiles to the timid guard. That'll lock Saga out at least.

"As you wish, sir. Mistress Reiju will be back from her family duty tomorrow morning, and she would like to speak with you over breakfast. If you wouldn't mind, I will be back to escort you at 8 am. Until then, please make yourself at home. I will take my leave now. Please do not hesitate to call me if you are in need of anything." the girl bows again and closes the door behind her, leaving Sanji to wonder to himself why he hasn't made the connection that the code name "Pink" in the Vinsmoke family would in fact be for the famous Poison Pink Vinsmoke Reiju.

Maybe he's just sleep deprived. He decides to push all distracting thoughts aside and go straight to sleep. The blond goes through a mental list of places to spend the night to avoid being flooded by unwanted memories as he digs for his toothbrush and towel in one of the bags. The bedroom is definitely out of the question, as well as the couch and the living room floor. Too close to the window. Sanji deliberately traces the bottom edge of all the walls with his eyes as he walks to the bathroom to resist the temptation to be sucked in by the view again. Sleep. He needs sleep.

He studies the bags under his eyes in the bathroom mirror as he continues down the list. The bathroom is a no, as is the kitchen, not to mention how uncomfortable the cold tiled floors would be to sleep on even if he adds a few more layers of blankets for padding. He's never been inside Zoro's weight room before, so that sounds good. It's also pretty much his only choice left unless he wants to curl up in one of the closets or... the hallway.

But wait, there are spiders in the closets and the hallway. He's seen the webs. Sanji shivers at the thought. The weight room it is then.

* * *

Sanji sits up lazily, flipping the blanket to the side. The room is now bright enough for everything to be clearly visible, so he must've tricked his internal clock by messing with his sleep schedule lately. Either that or even his internal clock prefers the dream world more than reality. He had a dream of course, because everything around him, from the mats he's sleeping on to the fabric of the pillow, smells like the moss ball. Last night he even tried to drown out the smell by stinking up the room with cigarettes, but his sleepy brain ended up mixing the smells instead of comparing their strengths. As a result a parallel world was constructed in his dream, a world where he met Zoro years ago when love was still a simple concept, where he wasn't a coward and was able to earn his place in Zoro's life, where Zoro touched him with gentle affection instead of primal desire, where Zoro wanted him to stay by his side instead of telling him to leave.

It's now 7:30. Cosette mentioned that she'll be here at 8. He needs to hurry if he wants to get ready properly before walking out the door. He did iron his suits when he was in Drums because they were all wrinkly from the careless way Saga packed them, but his hair will need time to dry. Before all that he needs a cup of good strong coffee. Sanji sets his hands to work in the kitchen on autopilot while his mind tries to squeeze in a few extra minutes of nap time.

"Good morning, Sanji." A sweet female voice calls from behind the kitchen island. The cook jumps, splashing himself with half a pot of thankfully still cold water. As happy as he is to be greeted by such a lovely sound first thing in the morning, it still freaks him out a little to find that he's not as alone as he thought he was. He quickly recovers his composure and turns to shower the angel with words of adoration, but the words die on his lips the moment he takes her hand and looks to her face. It's like flirting with his own reflection in the mirror.

"And welcome home." the woman continues as Sanji's gaze hovers over her eerily familiar features. "We've met on Monday at the family meeting, and before, of course, but I suppose you don't remember the good old times anymore." Perfectly curled golden blond locks fall gracefully over the right side of her face. Her visible ocean blue eye shimmers in the morning light the way his own often does in the mirror. Her thin eyebrow swirls upwards at the end. She's leaning forward in her seat, resting her chin on one hand propped up on the counter top. The frills on her tight-fitted blouse fall casually beside her elbow. A small smile pulls at her thin lips, and she tilts her head expectantly after a few moments.

"Oh how rude of me to stare! I was just mesmerized by your beauty." Sanji says weakly, unable to convince even himself. "Let me... get myself cleaned up here." he gestures to his wet pajamas and quickly excuses himself to change into a suit. Where he saw only horrifying fashion sense and unfortunate genetic ties in Ichiji and Niji, he's feeling a strange connection with the lady in his kitchen. Could this be lo-... Scratch that. Ace would kick him if he'd still call this love after the whole lesson he received last night. A familial bond maybe? They are... were... will be... family after all.

"You weren't this quiet the last time we talked." she muses as she watches Sanji return to the kitchen. He figures she must be talking about before he left the family when he was six.

"I must've been annoying as a child. I do apologize." When Reiju doesn't reply, the cook turns to see her eyebrow pinches ever so slightly, and black shapes appear in the air between them.

 _As a child? They haven't told you?_

Before Sanji can start confessing his thought reading ability and ask for an explanation for that thought, Reiju moves the conversation along.

"So tell me, why did you come back? Where's Zoro?" The mention of Zoro puts the cook back on guard. He's in enemy territory, and as pleasant as this woman is at the moment, he can't let anyone have the slightest hint that Zoro is still alive.

"He's dead. He tried to kill me at the meeting. Mihawk cut him down and saved me." Sanji lowers his eyes to the counter. He's not exactly comfortable lying to any lady. Reiju gives an amused hum.

"And why are you here?" she demands.

"To claim what's rightfully mine." Sanji winces inwardly as the words leave his mouth. That's such a cheesy line. It probably sounds less believable than the tall tales Usopp tells. He's getting goose bumps just by saying it out loud. He shoves a cigarette between his lips and reaches for the lighter to cover for his unease. Cold sweat starts forming on the back of his neck when Reiju chuckles at his response.

"You're a terrible liar as always." she says sweetly, reaching over the counter towards Sanji's chest with one hand. Her fingers stops a few inches from the button of Sanji's shirt and pinches the air between them, twisting and studying an invisible thread. Sanji freezes as he remembers Zoro's words.

 _"Your eyes have that shimmer that only eye power users have."_

Shit. She has one of those strange powers too, and there's no way for him to find out what it is. What if she can see right through any lies he tells? Shit. He should've at least asked the marimo, but how could he have known? Reiju laughs harder.

"Relax, Sanji. You're all tense. Don't worry. I want him to stay safe too. He sacrificed a lot to keep you safe last time." The amusement fades from her face and is replaced by a hint of sadness. What does she mean Zoro sacrificed for him? Even if she knows Zoro fought Mihawk and lost so that Sanji can escape, it's still odd to call it a sacrifice. It's not like Zoro planned on getting cut up like that when he challenged the warlord. Sanji studies her carefully and wonders if he should continue insisting on the fact of Zoro's death. He doesn't want to appear too keen. He's supposed to not care about what happens to Zoro after all. He exhales a puff of smoke and shrugs.

"Feel free to believe what you want. Would you like some coffee?" Sanji returns to his abandoned pot in an attempt to change the subject.

"Tea please. A little cream, no sugar. I told Cosette I'd have breakfast with you, and she thought she'd be cooking for us. Sorry for the confusion because she doesn't know your skills. I told her to take the morning off so I can have your cooking again." Sanji freezes again. She's had his cooking before? His mind flashes to the Baratie. Is she connected to the harassment too? No, no way. She's a lady! How could he doubt her like that?

"Like I said, you don't have to be so tense around me. I guess there's no helping it since you don't remember me, but you used to cook for me all the time." Used to? Like when? Before he was locked up in the dungeon? He didn't think he knew how to cook before he was picked up by Zeff... Sanji hears Reiju sighing behind him.

"I guess no matter what I tell you now you wouldn't trust me. Why don't we have some food instead?" Reiju says to the cook's back. Sanji feels a pinch of guilt for making a lady feel that he doesn't trust her, but the relief that she's willing to drop the topic for the moment washes it out.

"What would you like for breakfast, my angel?" Sanji turns and serves her a cup of tea with an apologetic smile.

"Call me Reiju, or just sister is fine too. How about an omelette?"

"Right away, my dear sister."

* * *

Reiju spends the rest of the morning bringing Sanji up to date on what he needs to know as the family heir: the family's structure, their business ties with the government and underground organizations, his family duties, and everything else Sanji doesn't give a shit about. He's sure Reiju is withholding important information from him until he can prove his loyalty to the family somehow.

"... and I suppose you will be receiving your first list of assignments at our next meeting." Reiju continues talking as if reciting a memorized passage. Sanji hasn't exactly been paying attention for the last half an hour or so, but the word "assignments" seems to ring a bell. She said something about those a while ago...

"Assignments?" he asks sharply, ready to apologize for interrupting her.

"Yes, people you need to assassinate." Oh that's right. That's what she said before.

"So... I'll be killing people from a list." Sanji swallows as he feels a chill down his spine.

"You do realize you're volunteering to be the heir of an underground organization whose primary business is in assassination, don't you?" Reiju says in a scolding tone instead of a mocking one Sanji expected. He's been naive. He should've known it's not as simple as walking in the front door and declaring himself the new heir. But does that mean Zoro had to do it before?

"Did he..." Sanji begins before he can remind himself that he's not supposed to care about Zoro. He stops the question immediately, but the silence that hangs over the dining table confirms that Reiju knows exactly what he's asking.

"It's OK. I know Zoro is alive. There's no reason for you to be here otherwise." Reiju reaches a hand across the table and plucks the air in front of Sanji's chest once more. "As for him, his success rate on assignments was extremely low, so I had to... clean up after him most of the time." she fixes her eyes on the tips of her fingers as Sanji watches her in a complete loss for words.

"I can take your assignments if you want. Both of you are too kind of the job, and my hands are already dirty." Reiju puts on a small smile, but the corner of her mouth quivers. Sanji's hand shoots out to grab hers.

"If you hate it that much, just don't do it!" Sanji shouts, squeezing her hand not so gently. The smile falls from her face, but she's otherwise unfazed.

"Zoro doesn't have any weaknesses for the family to hold, the perks of being a lone wolf I suppose." Reiju explains calmly, her captured hand folds to squeeze Sanji's lightly. "I'm not so lucky. Neither are you." She lifts her eyes to meet his, and the implications of her words hits Sanji like a bolt of lightning. Zeff, and maybe Ace too. Shit. How can he be so careless? His mind races for ways to get out of the spider web in which he willingly tangled himself. Backing out seems impossible, so that leaves...

"How long will it be before I can take over as the family head?" Sanji asks. Reiju seems intrigued by his question as she tilts her head slightly and studies his face.

"According to the family traditions, the head will step down once the heir is married and his wife gives birth to a boy. If you want, we can arrange a bride for you right away from our distant relatives."

"Any methods that might be faster?" and doesn't use a lady as a tool? The very thought of a woman being "arranged" to marry someone she's never met for that kind of reason makes the cook sick. Besides, he might be asking too much considering the situation he got himself into, but he always wanted to marry for love one day. Reiju continues studying him but doesn't reply. Black shapes appear between them.

 _Well, there was the "plan"..._

"Plan?" Sanji mutters in confusion, but he quickly recalls his one-sided telepathic exchange with Zoro at the castle.

 _We have a plan in execution to deal with the geezer once and for all._

Is that what Reiju is referring to? He ponders if it's a good idea to ask about it, but the look of pleasant surprise on Reiju's face cuts his pondering short.

"So your gift awakened. What is it? Mind reading?" Her tone reminds Sanji of what Zeff sounded like the first time he put together a recipe worthy of a spot on the Baratie's menu.

"You have one too, right? A 'gift', you call it?" Sanji replies cautiously, not wanting to give out more information than he can gather.

"Of course. It's a Vinsmoke trait. As the heir, you'll have to learn about all family members' gifts, but let me answer your questions one at a time." Reiju assures him with a composed smile, but before she can get to Sanji's previous questions, another one bubbles up.

"A Vinsmoke trait? But I thought he's adopted..." It's too late. Sanji knows he's asking way too many questions about Zoro to have anyone believe that he doesn't care about the moss head. He tries to tell himself that it's OK, that Reiju is a lady, and that a lady would never betray his trust. His unhelpful mind decides to choose this precise moment to remind him of Nami and Robin, and of how they can earn their enemies trust and crush it under their feet without batting an eye. Reiju chuckles lightly in a way that reminds the cook of Robin, making it difficult for him to breathe.

"So he told you about his gift. No, he's not related to us by blood. I couldn't help but tease him once or twice about the possibility, but his gift is not from the Vinsmoke blood line. Even if it is though, you'd still love him, right?" She smiles at Sanji, who blushes and panics.

"W-what? I'm not... I don't... I..." Sanji cuts off his own stuttering and tries to clear his throat. He needs to change the topic. "How would you know he's not related?" he mumbles. Oh fuck, does he have to keep asking about the marimo? Reiju chuckles again.

"One question at a time, boy. Let's go back to the first one I haven't answered. Yes, there is a faster method for you to become the family head. If anything happens to the current head and he's unable to carry on his family duties, the heir would automatically take over the position. That was the plan between Zoro and me, at least until you showed up at our family meeting and took him with you." Well that makes Sanji at least a little guilty. He tends to get in the way of a lot of plans wherever he goes.

"It can't be helped though. With your temper the way it is and the pranks the two idiots have been playing at your restaurant lately, it might've been silly of us to try to keep you out of the loop. Besides, you might be better suited for the plan than that boy is, especially if you figure out how to use your active power before then." Sanji pinches his brows in confusion at the mention of an "active power", and Reiju taps a finger to her chin in thought before continuing.

"I suppose I should tell you about your - about _our_ gifts. You asked about mine earlier? I'm a bond reader. The bonds people form with each other are attached to their hearts." Reiju raises her hand to the space in front of his heart again, twirling invisible threads with her index finger. "Different types of bonds appear in different colours, and the stronger the bond is, the more clearly I can see them. This one for example," she pinches her middle finger to her thumb and pulls to the side, "is to someone you feel strongly indebted to, someone you respect and cherish, like a parent, perhaps?" Zeff. Sanji feels his heartbeat quicken as he considers the possibility of Reiju being able to trace the location of every important person in his life by following the "bonds" she sees.

"And this one," Reiju pauses and runs a finger gently along another invisible thread. A hint of moisture glitters over her visible blue eye, "is to someone you love, someone you're willing to sacrifice your life to protect." Her eye meets Sanji's, hopeful and searching. "It's Zoro, isn't it? This is why you're here." Before Sanji can make up his mind about whether he should trust her and assure her of Zoro's safety or play it safe and firmly deny it, Reiju wraps her hand protectively around the thread and presses it to her forehead in a silent prayer. A teardrop spills from her eye as she closes it. Sanji shuts his mouth, swallows the words on his tongue, and watches as the teardrop makes its way down the side of her face.

"I'm so sorry, Sanji. I'm so glad you found each other again." She begins sobbing as more teardrops roll down her cheek and fall onto the table. Sanji quickly pulls out a couple sheets of paper napkins from the box and presses them into her still curled up hands.

"I'll get you some tea." He leans in and whispers in her ear before heading to the kitchen. When a lady breaks down in tears in front of him, a gentleman needs to act calm and offer a listening ear. The fact that what Reiju has to say seems to have something to do with Sanji himself is but a minor detail at this point. A cup of fragrant green tea, a little cream, no sugar, and a slice of mango cheesecake perhaps? Good thing he made extras the week before and froze them.

"Take your time. I'm right here if you want me to listen." Sanji says gently as he slides the cup of tea and the slice of cheesecake toward the lady. Reiju cradles the cup in her hands appreciatively and takes a sip. The sobbing has slowed down to sniffles, and when she opens her mouth to speak, her voice is once again steady. She tells him of a story straight out of his dream world last night, where he met Zoro years ago when they both believed in love and loved each other, and although the absurdity of the story makes him want to laugh in her face, he holds his peace and listens because her voice is filled with guilt and sadness.

"I was the one who cut your bond. I was the one who suggested it to Zoro too." Reiju admits to the tea cup, "I couldn't think of another way. _He_ was going to find out about you, and you were _so_ happy with your life..." Sanji instinctively reaches out and wraps his hands around his sister's.

"Slow down." Sanji coos, "I'm not mad at you. First tell me what you mean by cutting my bond." Reiju takes a deep but shaky breath.

"Those of us of the Vinsmoke house who have gifts in both eyes have an active version of our powers. In my case, aside from being able to see bonds, I can cut them too. When I cut a bond between two people, they will have their memories altered as if they've never met or heard of each other." Reiju's voice is calm and detached, but her hands are fisted nervously on the table under Sanji's. It takes a few moments before Sanji can wrap his mind around the concept of such a power. But if she can do that...

"Why didn't you free yourself from the family then? If that old fart doesn't remember having you as a daughter, you'd be free!" Reiju looks up and gives him a weak smile.

"I tried. It's common knowledge within the Vinsmokes that active powers only work on others who have their own passive powers. Normally this would mean other family members, but it seems that my power can't cut bonds between blood relatives. If it's not for the existence of Zoro, my power would've been completely useless." Sanji can't help but chuckle. Zoro is truly a freak of nature with his green hair, a superpower out of nowhere, and an aversion to the notion of love.

"Maybe he was made in a lab before ending up in an orphanage." he wonders out loud, pulling an amused huff from Reiju. "So how did you know what would happen when you cut a bond if you've never succeeded before?"

"Of course I tested it out on Zoro when he joined the family. His bonds with the two idiots were barely there anyway. They'd probably forget each other on their own." Reiju beams, but her expression fades quickly. "Cutting your bond with him was different though. I could feel how much it hurt to tear you apart, maybe because the two of you couldn't. I'm so sorry." she adds quietly. Sanji gives her hands another gentle squeeze.

"Now tell me, who was going to find out about me? Why did we have to cut our bond?" Sanji nudges.

"Father. His passive power is to see the name and the face of the person who matters the most to his target. Zoro was a lone wolf whose strongest bond was with a childhood friend who was already dead, but when he met you, I could see that it was only a matter of time before your bond overtakes it in strength." Sanji listens in confusion. That sounds dangerous and shitty, but surely it doesn't warrant a drastic precautionary move like cutting bonds and rewriting memories. It's not like they will drop dead on the spot as soon as Sanji's identity is discovered.

"You don't understand! Father is a full gift user like me, so he also has an active power. He can command his target to do anything physical to the person whose name and face he sees. He can't make Zoro love you or hate you, but he can make Zoro slap you or kill you on his command." Reiju seems uncharacteristically agitated as her visible blue eye pleads for Sanji to take her words seriously. Sanji finds himself unable to comfort her as the next conclusion forms in his mind.

"And you know this from... experience?" he quietly breathes out the question, and she remains silent as a confirmation. Her fists under Sanji's hands begin to tremble in what the cook can only guess as anger or fear as she fixes her gaze once more on the cup. He can only imagine the kind of things that man she calls "father" forced her to do to someone she cared for dearly. Was it a friend? Or maybe another family member? How old was she when it happened? Or did it happen more than once? Sanji doesn't want to know. He doesn't need to know. It doesn't change what he has to do. He sits back and lights himself a cigarette.

"Tell me about the plan. What do I need to do to find out about this active power of mine?" He leans back in his seat as he exhales a stream of smoke.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I hope I've redeemed Ace at least a little bit since last chapter. I know it's not enough. He will regret his mistake profoundly at some point. :P I do believe in pure friendship between two people who have broken up.**

 **Yes, it takes a woman's tears to make Sanji believe in a member of his rotten family. Women's tears will always work even if**

 **(CANON SPOILER)**

 **Pudding happens to him.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**

 **\- Sorry for being away for so long. As some of you might know, I'm pregnant with our second child. Between putting up with our 2 year old little monster for 12hrs a day and this second one demanding that I sleep for 15hrs a day, I haven't been able to turn my computer on very much in the last 4 months. But now that the worst part of the pregnancy seems to have passed, I'll try my best to finish this fic before the second monster arrives in October. There's one more chapter and an epilogue left. From what I heard about the pure chaos of having two kids, if I don't finish this before then, please be aware that I probably won't be updating for another 5 years.**

 **\- It just so happens that while this fic was on break, we found out from the anime that the Vinsmokes (SPOILER!) actually aren't blonds. Oooops. Oh well, they'll stay blond in this fic because I like it better that way, even though it'd make more sense why Zoro didn't know who Sanji was when they met in Chapter 3 if they all had different coloured hair...**

 **\- As a skeptic of the "magic of true love" myself, I've been having quite a hard time trying to convince Zoro of it, so I did a bit of research (and by research I mean Google search). I tried to keep it accurate, but don't quote me on it, especially if you're a biochem or a psych major. :P**

 **\- More notes at the end.**

* * *

 **My Life for Yours**

 **Chapter 9**

Zoro stands in front of the automatic glass doors of the hospital hugging his elbows in an attempt to ward off the chilly wind brought on by the mysterious snow in July. His T-shirt is a little thin for the weather, but nothing he can't handle. He raises a hand and waves as Usopp backs his car onto the narrow, snow covered road. Chopper rolls down the window to threaten the swordsman some more about alcohol consumption, causing Nami to shiver in her front passenger seat as the cold night air fills the small car. Zoro watches the car disappear around a corner at the bottom of the hill before he hears the glass doors slide open behind him.

"You OK with that, bro?" Franky, glowing in a thin layer of flame red determination, steps out to stand beside him and points a thumb at the lit second floor window behind them. The only people still inside the building are the cook and Ace, busy packing at the moment. Zoro has a feeling he won't like this conversation very much, but if one of his nakama wants a talk with him while glowing in that colour, he should at least listen.

"With what?"

"Sanji-bro going home with that handsome ex of his after you give him the rejection of the century?" The cyborg puts on a smirk. Zoro looks to the passenger seat of the truck to see Robin completely absorbed in the book she's reading, but he knows that's just an appearance she puts up when she's listening in on a nearby conversation. Theirs, no doubt.

"Tch, fucking gossips..." Zoro hisses, trying to make sure it's loud enough for Robin to hear with her sprouting ear somewhere close by. Robin's facial expression gives no indication of his success. "The cook's love life is none of my business, nor is it yours. Besides, Ace doesn't like him that way."

"So you wouldn't be OK with it if he does?" Franky chuckles, and Zoro gives no answer. That's not what he meant. Franky's just having fun twisting his words. "And you should stop telling yourself that, you know." the cyborg adds.

"What?"

"That you're not in love with Sanji."

"Love's not real. And I don't fucking lie to myself." Zoro growls, deeply insulted that his nakama, most likely both Franky and Robin, would even suggest that he'd do such a thing. As much as Zoro hates dishonesty and tries to avoid it, he understands that lying has its place and time, but lying to one's self is a completely different story. It serves no purpose except to cover up for cowardice.

"Not a lie if it'll come true after you repeat it enough times. You're skeptical because of that _super_ mood reading power of yours, right? I know you think mood colours don't lie, but you know bro, some people can influence their own moods at will. Maybe they can't make up false ones, but they can hide them." Franky nods to the truck. Zoro follows his gaze but is not sure what he's supposed to see. Robin's still reading, or pretending to read.

"She said she figured out the way around your ability. Not that she'd use it against you of course, but just to show you it can be done." Franky explains, and for the first time in fuck knows how long, Zoro realizes that he's not seeing any mood colours around her. Robin turns a page and lets out a single flare of bright yellow amusement, the mood colour equivalent of "this is what he means". So this entire talk is Robin's idea to begin with. This is why Zoro finds her annoying at times. Why can't she just come and talk to him herself? Then again, he knows why. He wouldn't have listened for long enough to get the message. She worries too much, always making preventative measures for every little thing that can possibly go wrong. It's tiring to listen to, so he tunes her out sometimes.

Before Zoro can insist that most people aren't as sneaky and manipulative as Robin, the glass doors open again to make way for the freckled man. He casually walks out onto the snow carrying what seems to be the last of the cook's belongings. He's wearing his baggy shorts and a light jacket, his bare chest not the least bit bothered by the cold. The cook is behind him, shivering slightly in his usual black suits and a dim glow of dark blue, dragging his steps as he follows. While Ace stops by his car to load the bags, the blond turns to exchange a quick thanks and goodbye with Franky before letting his gaze rest on Zoro.

It's not a glare, nor does he seem to be attempting any form of communication. He looks tired. His bright golden strands are now a shade of ash grey in the soft radiance of the snow, swaying slightly in the wind. His ivory skin is now paper white with wrinkles gathering around his visible eye. Only the deep ocean blue eye still flickers with the same old shimmer, drawing Zoro in by the second. The blond inhales as if finally deciding to say something when his thin shoulders are wrapped in the light jacket Ace was wearing a few seconds ago. The freckled man lets his hands slide off the cook's shoulders and down his upper arms in a gesture to help him stay warm. The gesture sets Zoro ablaze.

"We'll get going then. Enjoy the rest of your evening, gentlemen," the now shirtless freckled man says with a slight bow and turns to the truck, "and lady." Ace adds as one of his hands goes to the small of the cook's slender back to encourage him to turn to the car. Zoro takes a subconscious step forward before he can fight off the urge to rip that hand and that jacket off the blond. He has no reason to do that.

"I left some soup for you in the fridge. Heat it up before you drink it." the cook says in a hurry before turning and allowing Ace to guide him through the snow. Zoro's T-shirt no longer feels thin for the weather. He glares at the two men's backs, confused at his own sudden rage.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you don't have to outright deny love because of something you don't entirely understand." Franky continues as soon as the pair are out of earshot. "I mean for all we know, what you see with that eye of yours might not even _be_ moods or emotions. I mean how would you know if it's not something stupid, like people's change in body temperature or blood flow when they're thinking different thoughts? How much sense would it make for you to go through life thinking 'love's not real' because you were seeing _that_?"

The words make Zoro peel his eyes off the men and look at Franky. That does sound irrational to draw that conclusion, but what Franky doesn't understand is that it hardly makes a difference.

"I don't need love anyway." Zoro shrugs, "Even _if_ it's real, it'd only be a distraction." Franky gives no reply at first, and for a few long seconds, his mood colour, if that's what it is, dims to the maroon shade of regret. Zoro looks to Robin and finds her folding her book closed only to stare at it as it rests in her lap.

"Robin used to say something like that. She called it a hindrance." Franky sighs in a tender voice that Zoro's never heard from the usually obnoxiously loud cyborg. The swordsman shoots him a look to urge him to continue the story. "Until one day she hurt someone she cared about. That's what can happen if you deny love, Zoro-bro. It can leave regret instead."

Oh, so this is what the whole talk is about. These two think that he's gonna regret rejecting the cook because it'd hurt him, and they want Zoro to, what, push himself in love to make the blond happy? Zoro's eyes wander to Ace's car, where the cook is now throwing a fit over which bags should be placed on top of which ones. Ace steps out of the way sheepishly as the cook gets busy rearranging his belongings. Then it catches Zoro's eyes again, that all too familiar greyish purple of despair, creeping its way around the blond's outline.

Of course Zoro knows regret. He'd do all he can to prevent more of it too. But lying to the cook won't prevent it, nor would forcing himself into something he doesn't believe in. Even if love's real, it's not something he understands, and he clearly cannot accomplish what he doesn't understand. He's not in love with the blond. He's not capable of love to begin with. There's nothing more for him to do for the blond except to trust in the man's strength to overcome whatever pain he caused.

"You understand that it hurt him, right? Don't you think you should at least try to find out why or how much it hurts?" Franky says, pulling Zoro from his thoughts. Well, maybe he can do at least that.

"I'll try." he finally nods, causing the cyborg to pull him into a bone-crushing hug while wailing "That's my boy" and "I knew you're a good guy, dammit!" at a deafening volume, followed by some offensive nose blowing, tear wiping, and cry denying. Zoro silently thanks the fact that Ace's car left just in time to miss the scene.

* * *

The next morning Zoro wakes up to the sound of knife blade on chop board from the kitchen next door. He had a dream, but the details are already fogged up in his mind. All that linger are the feelings of loss, desperation, and now hope, seemingly brought on by the sound he's hearing. He rushes to the sound without trying to comb through those puzzling emotions, only to have them washed out by an overwhelming wave of disappointment, when he catches sight of silvery strands and deep red robe behind the kitchen counter.

"Why are you here?" Zoro plops into his usual chair.

"Oh Zoro, you're up? Pink's giving both of us some time off from family duties for your injury." Saga waves the small dull fruit knife in his hand, flinging a couple drops of orange juice to the floor. Zoro has no doubt in his mind that if Reiju or anyone in the family knows where he is, they'd be coming here to hunt him down instead of giving him time off. But there's no point correcting his childhood friend who might be risking his life to be here with him. He hums in reply and allows Saga to continue. "Anything you want for breakfast?"

"Shitty cook mentioned he left me some soup in the fridge. Just have to heat it up."

"Soup? That's it?" Saga scoffs but puts down the knife to open the fridge.

"Still on liquid diet. You know how Chopper is." Zoro watches as Saga carelessly heaves the pot onto the stove, spilling a spoonful or two on the way. The guard then continues to clumsily juice the oranges he cut earlier. The cook would probably throw a fit by now if he knows what Saga is doing in his kitchen considering the mess being made and the food being wasted. Not to mention he'd fuss about orange juice not being liquid enough for a liquid diet too. The mental image of an angry cook brings a chuckle to his throat before he swallows it dry.

The cook wouldn't be worried about this kitchen now. He'd be in Ace's tiny old kitchen, busying himself with never-ending food requests from the freckled man who has an appetite of a whale while listening to a ongoing lullaby of "You'll get over it" and "Zoro's not worth it anyway" from that sweet talker ex of his. Of course Ace would be right. It'd be in the blond's best interest to stop wasting his time with Zoro. But no matter how many times Zoro repeats these things to himself, even his constant mantra of "The blond's much safer away from me" that helped put him to sleep last night sounds like an excuse now in the morning light. Something's wrong with the whole situation, and he can't put his finger on it.

"Zoro?" Zoro feels a light tap on his hand and looks up to find Saga holding out the handle of a spoon to him. He takes it with a silent "thanks" and begins inhaling his bowl of soup.

"You alright? Anything I can help with?" Saga asks as Zoro finishes testing the temperature and takes his first gulp. Zoro dismisses it with a grunt. It's nothing for the guard to worry about. Instead of leaving the topic, Saga asks once more, sounding more insistent this time. "You look stressed. Let me help?"

Zoro swallows his mouthful of soup and eyes his childhood friend in confusion. It takes him an awkward moment before the thin layer of orange coloured lust around Saga's outline and his tentatively outstretched hand remind Zoro exactly what they're talking about. That wording, coupled with a light touch to the other man's jaw, is the signal they agreed on to initiate their "deal". One more thing Zoro has to set straight. He snatches Saga's hand before it reaches his jaw and looks the man in the eye.

"Saga, I'm breaking off the deal." Zoro says calmly and averts his eyes at the first hint of that painful dark blue. He's seen enough of that colour in the last few days. He gets back to work on his soup bowl instead, leaving Saga with his own thoughts on the matter.

"Is it because of the heir?" Saga finally asks.

"No. You're-" _the one who crossed the line_ , but Zoro bites back the words. He's already done it once the day before, and Franky's words are still fresh in his mind.

 _"Until one day she hurt someone she cared about."_

"It's my problem. Don't worry about it." Zoro finishes his soup and returns to bed for his morning meditation.

* * *

Zoro stays in his recovery ward for the rest of the morning for some light exercise, just simple squats and push-ups since he doesn't have his weights or his swords around. The idiot cook even took his broken one for who knows why. Saga hasn't shown up again all morning, and Zoro hasn't bothered looking for lunch, so Chopper is the one to finally interrupt his exercise routines. The furious doctor quickly pins him back onto his bed.

"And you've started passing gas, right? It's a sign your intestine's healing normally." Chopper takes off his stethoscope after an eternity of poking around and continues to scribble madly on his patient record. "You can start eating semi-liquid now. Where's Sanji? I need to give him new food prep instructions and check his wound too."

"I told him to leave after the party yesterday." Zoro throws on a shirt over his brand new bandages. "I can have my swords back now, right? Since I'm healing and all."

"What do you mean you told him to leave, you bastard? How will you get your food then?!" Chopper looks at him for a second or two before gasping, "Did you two have a fight?"

"No, I just don't need him to take care of me. I can cook." Zoro shrugs. It can't be that hard. "Now where did you keep my swords?"

"Zoro, you're not supposed to be out of bed long enough to cook anything! Your wound's not nearly healed enough yet! Next time you tear it open you might really bleed to death! And no, you may not have your swords. I don't know where they are. I left Sanji in charge of that." Chopper jams the back of his pen into Zoro's good shoulder as a warning. That sneaky cook, Zoro was confused when he found a note from the damn blond where Yubashiri's pieces and sheath used to be, saying he's "borrowing" it for a while. Why would he need to borrow a broken sword anyway? And now he has the other two as well. What is this, retaliation for the pain of rejection?

"You understand that it hurt him, right? Don't you think you should at least try to find out why or how much it hurts?"

How is Zoro supposed to find that out? He doubts the proud cook would give him an honest answer even if he asks. But it's a form of pain, right? So maybe Chopper would know. Zoro watches as Chopper buzzes around the bed, cleaning up his work station while muttering a plan to track down the cook and bring him back here. It's a strange question to ask, maybe, but Zoro did say he'd try.

"Oi Chopper, how much does rejection hurt?"

"Hmm? Oh blood rejection? You don't have to worry about that anymore because if it hasn't happened when you received the blood, it won't happen later. It doesn't hurt at first because it happens in the blood stream and doesn't touch any nerve endings, but it's very dangerous because you'll quickly run out of red blood cells to carry oxygen. Tissues throughout your body will start dying from lack of oxygen within minutes-"

"No, I mean... being rejected by someone you... like? Love? Have feelings for?" Zoro scratches the back of his neck. "Never mind..."

"Oh." Chopper stops in his track to give the swordsman a questioning look before formulating an answer. "Psychiatry is not my specialization, so I can only tell you the basics. In short, humans beings are fundamentally social creatures, so rejections in any social interactions would not only cause perceived pain, but also leave lasting negative effects on the person's thought patterns and behaviours. More specifically though, the pain and effects caused by rejection in a romantic setting would largely depend on which stage the person is at in the development of his or her feelings toward this relationship."

"Stage?"

"Yeah. Like any long lasting human relationships, the one designated to the mating process has distinct stages governed by vastly different sets of hormones. It starts with testosterone and estrogen, which regulate the feeling of lust in the person and help motivate him or her to be on the look out for any suitable mating candidates. An isolated rejection at this stage might not cause much pain, but repeated rejection might result in lower self esteem and a tendency to avoid future social interactions."

That's not where the cook is at then. Zoro nods to encourage the little doctor to continue his lecture.

"When the person comes across what the brain decides is a suitable candidate, the body enters Stage Two of the process, driven by adrenaline, the 'fight or flight' hormone, and dopamine, the happiness hormone. Dopamine is responsible for creating that 'love struck' state of pure bliss. It makes the potential mating partner appear much more attractive and desirable, rendering their flaws invisible so the person is more inclined to daydream about them and not think about anything else. By the way, it's also responsible for the natural motivation and reward system in our brain. Its effects are so pleasurable that things which trigger the release of dopamine can be dangerously addictive. And you must be familiar with the effects of adrenaline: increased heart rate, breathing rate, metabolism, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, heightened senses, and focused attention on your immediate surroundings. It's the same hormone that helps you survive dangerous situations like a losing battle, but in the context of the mating process, its function is to focus the person's attention on the potential mating partner to gather as much information about them and as quickly as possible.

"This is the stage more commonly known as 'being in love', but contrary to its portrayal in popular media, it's not designed to last. Not only is it highly costly in terms of energy required to maintain this state, it's also highly inefficient, making the person less productive in all other areas of life outside of this new budding relationship. To phase out of this stage, the brain builds up a higher tolerance toward dopamine rushes so that it loses its effect over time. Then it uses the information gathered about the target during this stage to decide between moving on to Stage Three or going back to Stage One and start over. It's quite common for people to mistake this transition as 'falling out of love' and to break off healthy growing relationships in search of a new source of dopamine rush."

"So that's the stage the shit-cook is permanently stuck in with the girls." Zoro mutters under his breath and suppresses a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, exactly! I've long suspected that Sanji has either a malfunction in the production of dopamine transporters responsible for the reuptake of dopamine molecules from the synaptic cleft or an abnormality that can be triggered by the thought of a female to release natural antidepressants that interfere with the functioning of dopamine transporters. My hypothesis is that his mechanism for dopamine tolerance build-up will function normally once he's given the chance to spend more time with any female. It's just that he's never had the chance yet." The longer Chopper talks, the brighter he glows in light blue curiosity and silvery excitement. Zoro clears his throat.

"Oh, sorry, where were we? Rejections, right. Dopamine also has the effect of amplifying emotional turbulence, making the happy moments absolutely elating and the sad moments soul crushing. The emotional impact of a rejection at this stage will therefore be greater than normal, often resulting in prolonged clinical depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts. On top of that, as with any sudden change in the production of mood-altering chemicals, the body will experience withdrawal symptoms of dopamine: depression as mentioned before, fatigue, excess sleep, low sex drive, sudden weight gain, lack of concentration, social withdrawal, tendencies toward apathy, aggression, and cruelty."

Honestly it doesn't sound all that bad to Zoro. The cook looked tired last night, but surely a bit of extra sleep and gaining some weight won't hurt the blond, neither would taking a break from his flirting habits with women. The last few sound a bit off, but nothing in the world can make the cook apathetic or cruel. That's how he is. The only parts that bother Zoro are the depression and suicidal thoughts, but that's only if this whole mood-chemistry stuff is real. Chopper wouldn't lie, especially not about science. But who knows; science can still be wrong.

"If the relationship survives the fading obsession from Stage Two, the hormones that take over in the next stage promote a more stable and long lasting bond, maybe not forever, but hopefully long enough to let the couple to raise offspring together. The most important one for a strong emotional connection is oxytocin, the 'cuddle hormone'. Most of these hormones involved in romantic relationships are released in large doses during orgasm, including oxytocin, but this one is also released in simpler physical contacts like hugging and touching, hence the nickname. It's responsible for the feeling of trust, belonging, empathy, and the willingness to put the other person's interest before your own in all types of human relationships: romantic, familial, nakamaship, etc."

"Wait, you said all these chemicals are released during sex?" Zoro frowns. He's not the type to spend time thinking about what strengthens romantic relationships, nor is he experienced in the topic, but he would've guessed that sex is at least unrelated to the formation of an emotional bond even if it doesn't get in the way.

"Well yes. The original purpose of a romantic relationship is mating, so naturally its development would be somewhat dependent on the act of mating itself. In fact I think it might be more accurate to claim the opposite, that the purpose of the sex drive and the sexual act is to facilitate a romantic relationship stable enough to allow possible reproduction."

Before Zoro can decide if Chopper's claim makes sense to him, an overwhelming sense of "I told you so" hits him in the back of his head, as if his intuition has just learned to wield an invisible baseball bat. Flashbacks from that first night with the cook and all his subsequent failed attempts of meditation flood his mind. His sexual urges have a much more important function than providing mental training. They are opportunities to make him fall for the cook, to form an intimate bond with him, and to hold on to him before he slips back out of Zoro's life. Zoro quickly stomps out the idea against the roaring objection of his intuition. He decides that what Chopper's saying doesn't make sense after all. He hasn't fallen in love with Saga from all the sex they had. Why should the cook be any different? And if it's all about reproduction...

"It doesn't apply to us then." Zoro says, not sure himself if it's a question. The little doctor gives him a confused look before perking up with understanding.

"Science can do amazing things these days, Zoro." Chopper's big eyes twinkle as his outline glows in silver. "Did I tell you about Doctorine's research? She's working on the possibility of raising an embryo made from two sperms or two eggs in an artificial growth environment. She's already succeeded in raising healthy lapahn and hiking bear babies using her method, and now she's travelling around the world looking for human volunteers for the last testing stage of the research." The reindeer beams and goes back to rolling up a pile of loose bandages.

"Besides, infertility itself doesn't make a relationship weak, and neither does the personal choice of not wanting children. Relationships are like houses. Houses are built for the purpose of having people live in them, but a house doesn't become stronger just because someone moved in, nor does being empty make it a weaker house. The strength of a house is determined by the builder's skills and care during construction, just like how the strength of a relationship is determined by the actions and attitudes of the two people building it."

"Where was I?... Stage Three, oxytocin, vasopressin, endorphins..." Chopper taps his furry chin and counts, bending non-existent fingers on his little hoof. "Vasopressin is normally used to regulate your body's water level by deciding how much water goes into your urine and how thirsty to make you feel. Surprisingly, it also has an important role in romantic relationships by creating the sense of responsibility to provide for and protect your partner and offspring, to fend off other possible suitors for your partner, and the tendency to stay faithful yourself. As you can imagine, vasopressin is the driving force behind traits like possessiveness and jealousy."

Zoro feels another imaginary whack to his head along with a resonating "See?!" A new set of flashbacks come pouring in, this time of the pain in his core as he told the blond to leave and his sudden unexplained rage at Ace. What he felt yesterday were possessiveness and jealousy. See, he's already fallen for the blond. The cook is his. The cook belongs right here by his side, regardless of the dangers they may face. Protecting the cook is his job, not the job of an ex who might think of the cook as a brother. Zoro pushes the thought out of his head and tries to focus on Chopper's voice.

"There's one more group of notable hormones called endorphins in this stage. They are known as the body's natural pain killers and create the feelings of peace, security, and contentment. Like dopamine, things that trigger endorphins can become addictive as well, and this addiction can obstruct the formation of a deeper and more stable 'oxytocin bond'. In simple terms, couples who make it to the Third Stage can be either 'oxytocin-bonded', or what people tend to call 'true love', or 'endorphin-bonded' where at least one of the partners is seeking only sexual fulfillment and has little or no intention of the type of commitment that creates a favourable environment for offspring."

"True love, huh... So I was right after all. Love's just a bunch of chemicals playing with your brain. It's not real." Zoro folds his arms. Of course. It's just another distraction the body creates for the mind. The fact that his intuition is siding with such a distraction is evidence of his need for more training. He needs to strengthen his mind to overcome it.

"Zoro, you..." Chopper turns to him with large bewildered eyes. He clutches the roll of medical tape he was packing and rests his hoof on Zoro's knee. "Everything we feel is chemical, Zoro, but that doesn't mean it's not real! You can't say that love's not real just because of that unless... unless you think that motivation and curiosity are not real, that trust and betrayal are not real, that... THAT OUR BOND AS NAKAMA IS NOT REAL, YOU ASSHOLE!" Tears swirl in those large brown eyes. Zoro searches his mind in vain for any comforting words as Chopper dries his face with his furry little arm. The little doctor takes a deep breath to finish his lecture.

"A rejection at this last stage is more likely to trigger a response in the brain that's identical to the physical pain from being stabbed. In fact many patients report a stabbing pain in the chest area when there is nothing physiologically causing the pain. This persistent 'ghost pain', combined with the withdrawal of the natural pain killers, the endorphins, often drives the person to irrational outbursts of anger and blame. At the same time, the brain reactivates the release of dopamine to make the person crave for the lost relationship as a desperate motivator to reconnect with the lost partner. These conflicting emotional forces clash in a storm of confusion, making it difficult for the person to think about the event rationally in order to find resolution or to move on. It might be accurate to describe the chaotic state as a form of emotional torture, and it takes a long time for a person to phase out of it."

Zoro pictures the blond cook in a thick grey storm cloud of confusion, taking out his anger and blame on the cutting board and the ingredients to the rhythm of the stabbing pain in his chest. Maybe he'd cut his precious hand in an outburst. Or maybe Ace would bring him to a club to take his mind off Zoro, where the cook would try to drown himself in all kinds of hard liquor that his lightweight body can't handle. Or... maybe he'd really be suicidal. Zoro's heart hammers in panic. That's not possible. Despite how much of a drama queen the cook is, he's strong. There's no way he'd lose to a little rejection like that. Zoro exhales slowly. Emotional torture. That's what the cook is going through right now. All because he can't love the blond. His chest tightens, and the same searing pain twists in his core.

No, not because he can't. He's been a despicable being who lies to himself to avoid dealing with something he doesn't understand, and the cook is suffering the consequences. He's been a coward. He needs to right his wrongs, and the first step is to apologize to the cook.

"Phew, I'm done here. Now tell me where Sanji went. I need to check his wound too." Chopper zips up his last bag of medical supplies.

"Luffy's place. I'll go with you."

* * *

"Just tell me why we have to stay here!" Zoro demands for what must be the 30th time in the last hour. Despite his plan to find the blond immediately, he's been practically held hostage in his recovery ward by his furry doctor since the little reindeer received a phone call shortly after their lesson in biochemistry.

"Like I said, I think it's because they don't want you to get lost." Chopper continues staring out the window.

"That's bullshit! I KNOW how to get to Luffy's even if it's the only place I ever know!" Zoro resumes his pacing. Chopper has given up trying to make him stay in bed quite a while ago.

"I told you. Apparently no one's at Luffy's place right now. It's pointless for us to go there. You'd just get lost afterwards. Plus you shouldn't be wandering outside for that long yet."

"Then at least tell me what's going on! Why's no one at Luffy's? Where's the cook?"

"They didn't tell me either. Let's just wait for them to get here."

"Who are we waiting for anyway?"

"Ah, they're here!" Chopper leans onto the glass window.

Zoro looks over his shoulder to see Usopp's car and Franky's truck pull up to the front of the building beside Saga's. The guard must still be here then. Nami jumps out of Usopp's front passenger door and yanks a resigned looking Ace by the wrist from the back seat. Usopp follows the two after closing and manually locking all the doors on his car while Franky helps Robin step off his truck. The cook is nowhere to be seen, and so is Luffy.

A long minute or two later, the group files into the room. Nami flings Ace at one of the beds where the freckled man sits slouching, burying his head in his hands and engulfed in a shifting mixture of maroon regret and black fear. Usopp stands at Nami's side, both simmering in a thin layer of blood red rage. This doesn't look good.

"Where's the cook?" Zoro asks in a low voice, barely paying attention to Robin and Franky who just arrived.

"Missing." Nami hisses and glares at Ace.

"And he won't tell us what happened, not until he sees you." Usopp adds. Robin remains expressionless except her slightly pinched lips, her mood colours as invisible as the day before. Franky frowns at the freckled man, his pale red concern mirrors the one coming from Chopper by Zoro's side.

"Ace, we're all here now. Tell us what happened." Chopper hops off the window sill. Ace hesitates before pulling out a piece of crumpled paper from his jacket pocket. Nami snatches it and reads.

"What..." Her eyes widen after a few seconds. "When did he write this?"

"Last night, probably not long after we got home. He took all his luggage with him. I looked everywhere... Where could he go?..." Ace digs his nails further into his hair.

" 'Shitty Freckles,' " Usopp tugs the paper out of Nami's hand and reads aloud, " 'There are sandwiches for you in the fridge. If Luffy still doesn't show up tomorrow, finish his share for lunch or dinner. I'm going back to the Baratie to cool off a bit on my own, so don't bother me. Sanji.' What's wrong with this? He said he's going back to the Baratie." Usopp frowns at the paper.

"Read the post script." Nami points to the bottom or the sheet.

"And there's no bus or train running that late at night if he really left in the middle of the night." Chopper mutters and turns to Ace. "He wouldn't be able to get to the Baratie at that hour. Are you sure he didn't leave this morning? Did you call the Baratie and ask?"

"I called. He hasn't shown up at the Baratie all day. He left his phone in my jacket too. He would've left the sandwiches in the oven if it was only an hour or two before breakfast. They were in the fridge."

"Usopp, what does the post script say?" Franky urges. The long nose swallows and continues reading.

" 'ps. I know I make it sound like I hate your ass most of the time, but I do appreciate having you in my life and al that you've done for me over the years.' Th-this is..."

"A farewell note, or should I say a suicide note, perhaps?" Robin offers, and an eerie silence looms over the room. Zoro heart sinks to his stomach as he watches black drops of fear work their way into everyone's mood colours, the same fear that's bubbling from his core. It can't be... right?

"Why would Sanji want to commit suicide all of a sudden? It's Sanji we're talking about!" Chopper asks. Before long, Zoro finds every pair of eyes in the room looking back at him except for Ace, who's still digging his own knuckles into his eye sockets. Chopper studies Zoro's face. "Wait, is that why you were asking...?"

Zoro feels his own nails digging into the palm of his hands. The cook wouldn't end his own life over... this, would he? But it wouldn't be the first time someone decides to take their own life because of Zoro's wrong choice of words. He closes his eyes and sees that same old glow of greyish purple under the pearly light of the full moon, the image that continues to haunt his mind after more than a decade. Except this time he can't tell whose shadow he's seeing in that sickening cloud.

This time it's different. Instead of merely failing to pull someone out of their downward spiral of suicidal thoughts, he was the one to push the blond into that spiral. The cook's blood would be on his hands, and he's not sure if carrying that burden for the rest of his life would be enough to make it up the man. No, if the cook's already gone, there'd be nothing Zoro can do to ever make up for what he's done. Nothing matters to the dead.

"What should we do?... Where's Luffy at times like this?" The weather witch, who's usually brimming with confidence, looks unusually lost as she hugs her elbows and leans against the long nose. They know Luffy's safe of course. He's done enough disappearing acts over the years for them to learn to not worry about his safety. It's just hard for the group to see hope in times of trouble without that idiot around. But it's not time for them to sit around feeling hopeless for the cook's life and regretting the boy's absence.

"Let's look for him." Zoro puts his best effort into steadying his voice against the trembling of his fists. "If the cook is already dead, then nothing we do now would matter. But if he's alive,"

If he's alive, then every ounce of certainty Zoro packs into his next words would help his nakama find the will to look for the cook. He clenches his teeth and inhales through his nose.

"If he's alive, we just need to put everything we've got into finding him before it's too late. It's the only thing left to do, so don't think about anything else." A few more moments of tense silence pass before Zoro breathes a low sigh of relief at the sight of bright red flames drowning out black drops of fear around the room.

"It's been over 12 hours from the estimated time the note was written, so we can narrow down Sanji's methods slightly." Finally, Robin breaks the silence. "Nothing has been heard over the news or by the police department. I think it's safe to rule out methods that tend to draw public attention, like jumping off high buildings, bridges, running into oncoming traffic, or any form of self-harm, including any substance abuse, in public places where his body would be discovered quickly."

"And knowing Sanji, he wouldn't kill himself in a hotel room and risk traumatizing a maid with his dead body." Usopp says with a shake of his head.

"Which leaves... drowning? East Blue isn't all that big. If you take out the places we've mentioned, that pretty much leaves just beaches." Franky rubs his chin with a mechanical hand.

"That doesn't sound possible though. Sanji is an expert swimmer. I don't think he'd drown even if he tries." Nami rests a hand on her hip, finally looking a bit more like herself.

"I've..." Ace says in an almost whisper, still refusing to look up from his legs. "I've been wondering why he needed to bring all his cooking equipment with him."

"Maybe... he doesn't want you to look suspicious having all his belongings lying around if he's planning to end up dead?" Chopper suggests.

"Or," Robin asks gently, "you're thinking that he's using them to weigh himself down in water?" The question earns a slight nod from the freckled man.

"OK. There are 12 beaches around East Blue. If we leave now, we might be able to start with the one closest to Ace's place by sunset. We can finish searching all of them tonight by splitting in two directions from there if Franky and Usopp have enough lighting gear for all of us who can go into the waters. Ace, Chopper, and Robin can't swim, so you three should stay here and keep in contact with everyone so we'll know as soon as Sanji is found." Nami quickly pulls out a map of East Blue from her purse and lays it out on the empty bed, pointing to it as she talks. The group leans in for a better look.

"We only need one person to stay here. I have some _super_ diving suits for the non-swimmers in my truck. Of course, head lights too." Franky strikes a pose.

"Then let's leave Zoro here. He's not well enough to be in water yet." Chopper yells, earning a round of nods and comments about Zoro's ability to get lost in water. Zoro would've snapped at comments like this, but something about the mention of 12 beaches is nagging at the back of his mind.

 _"I can't believe it. Of the 12 beaches you can get to by bike, you had to pick the only one where you can't see the sunrise. I have to admire your gift in the field of finding your way, marimo." the blond snorts._

"Wait, start with the one where you can't see the sunrise." Zoro looks to the red head, who studies him for a few seconds before sighing.

"Well, if you're sure. It's the furthest one away from here. If he's not there, we'd be wasting a lot of time." Nami rolls up the map and leads the group out of the room. One by one, Zoro watches his nakama give him the "leave it to us" look before turning to the door with renewed determination. Before long, he finds himself alone in the room with Ace. The freckled man pulls out the blond's phone and hands it to Zoro, but doesn't let go when Zoro takes it. The swordsman looks up to find his tired gaze packed with pleads for forgiveness.

"Don't apologize. I was the idiot for agreeing to it. It's not your fault." Zoro pulls the phone out of his grip and gives him a pat on the shoulder. Ace reaches around to clasp his hand, giving it a firm squeeze.

"We'll find him. I'll make sure of it if it's the last thing I do." The freckled man looks Zoro dead in the eye. The swordsman gives him a light nod, not sure how much hope he's allowed to have on those words.

"Zoro, look! I found your-" A familiar voice shouts from the door just as Ace turns to leave. A moment later, Saga pokes his head through the door, waving a dark green haramaki wrapped around two long swords, one white and one red. Wado and Kitetsu. The cook must've hidden them in the hospital.

"Robin?" Usopp's voice can be heard from far down the hall as Saga enters the room.

"You guys go first." Robin's calls from just outside the door. "I just need to check on an eavesdropper first." She turns to push Saga further into the room and closes the door behind her. Within a second or two, Zoro's two swords and Saga's own are dropped to the floor with a few loud clacks, and Saga has his arms held behind him by an extra limb grown from his back. Another hand appears from his chest and reaches into his robe pocket. It pulls out a phone and throws it to Robin before disappearing into a fading cloud of flower petals. Without missing a beat, Robin catches the phone and begins trying possible passwords.

"Robin, what the hell are you doing? Let him go!" Zoro throws himself at Robin, who dodges out of the way with ease.

"Just give me a second, Zoro. If my suspicions are correct, he might lead us straight to Sanji." Robin says without looking up from the phone she's trying to unlock.

"What are you saying? He's a friend! Why would he-"

"When do you think he got here, Zoro?"

"This morning?"

"The weather record in Drums shows that it snowed at 4 am this morning for about half an hour. His car is covered in snow. Considering he wasn't here when we left the party last night, don't you want to find out why he'd arrive at such an interesting hour?"

"He works night shifts. It's not strange for him to have his days and nights reversed."

"And is it also not strange to you that he chose just the night Sanji goes missing to show up? And how do you suppose he managed to find your swords?"

"That's just a coincidence. And he could've been lucky with the swords."

"Draw your own conclusions after you see this. He's been exchanging messages with your number since last night. I'm sure you didn't even notice that your phone is missing." Robin holds out the phone to him. Zoro gives her a questioning look before reading the short conversation on the screen that took place at 2:07 am last night. The very first text sends a shiver down his spine. It's from his own phone number, but he can practically hear those words in the cook's voice.

 _Hey shithead, it's me. The lady will pick me up soon. Go keep the moss head company so he doesn't get homesick._

 _Thanks... for doing this for him._

 _Hearing that from you doesn't make me happy. You'd better keep him safe since you're such an expert at it._

 _I know what to do. You don't have to tell me._

Zoro's head races as he tries to piece a story together. Who's the lady? What does he mean homesick? What is Saga thanking him for? He scrolls down to find two more texts from about an hour ago.

 _He'll need his swords back. Where did you leave them?_

 _Top floor. Third last room from the end of the hall on the right. Under the mattress of the bed closest to the window._

"Zoro, what's going on? Who is this? Sanji's kidnapper?" Ace pulls roughly at Zoro's elbow, his dark eyes fixed on Saga in rage.

"I wouldn't call it kidnapping." Robin answers, tightening the grip on Saga's struggling wrists. "More like... he coerced Sanji into disappearing."

Ace pushes past Zoro and pulls Saga up to his face by the collar of his robe. "Where is he? What did you do to him?" Saga turns to the side in defiance. Ace winds back his free arm for a punch only to have Zoro catch his wrist.

"Don't bother. You can't make him talk by force. Let me handle this." Zoro tugs on the wrist.

"How can you be so fucking calm when the bastard who knows his whereabouts is RIGHT IN FRONT OF US?"

"The cook's alive, well enough to send texts from my phone at least up until an hour ago." Zoro pushes Saga's phone into Ace's wound up fist and pulls the angry freckles off his childhood friend. He takes a step to stand in front of Saga before crossing his arms.

"Explain."

"Zoro, you're free now! _We_ are free! Let's forget everything and get out of here! We can go to West Blue, or even Grand Line! They'll never bother looking for us there!" Saga looks at him with twinkling eyes, glowing in silver and yellow. Zoro can't remember the last time he's seen such happy colours on the man, but all it does now is remind him of the ever changing colours of the cook.

"Where is he?" Zoro tries not to move a single facial muscle as he breathes out the question. He's not sure if he can stop his friend from seeing the wave of pure resentment in his gut otherwise.

"Where he belongs from the start Zoro, with that twisted family of his! As long as they have him to play their heir, you won't ever have to deal with any of them again! Forget about him, Zoro. Forget about every one of them and start living your own life!" Saga pleads with unfading excitement.

"Since when do I need you to tell me how to live my life?"

"You don't need _anyone_ to tell you how to live! You never did! You don't belong in that family. You don't belong under anyone's command. I know you. You were born to be _free_ , and I'd do anything to give you the freedom you were meant to have." Saga straightens his chest in pride. He leans in as far as Robin's restraint allows and whispers, as if proclaiming the resurrection of a god in secret, "And I did it, Zoro! You're free."

Zoro searches the eyes of the maniac in front of him for traces of the childhood friend he once knew. The Saga he knew was a loyal friend, clumsy and quick-tempered at times, but has an incredible sense of justice. When did such an obsession begin? Why has he never noticed it?

"You know me? Then you should know I wouldn't want to sacrifice an innocent man's life, a _nakama_ 's life, for a freedom I never wished for. He never wanted anything to do with that family except to kick their asses, blood relatives or not." Zoro's words come out with more regret than anger. If only he had said something like this out loud before, maybe the man in front of him wouldn't have been so fixated on the idea. This, too, is his fault. Despite all his efforts to keep the blond from harm since the beginning, he failed to see the single biggest threat to the blond's safety right under his nose.

"He's no innocent man! It's his fault you got tangled up in that mess of a family to begin with! _He_ ran away from home! He deserves every single bit of harassment his blood brothers pulled on his restaurant all these years!"

Zoro considers asking how the man knew about what happened to the cook's restaurant, or if the man was involved in any way, but he turns to pick up his haramaki from the floor instead. He's heard enough. The cook is with the family, which means most likely in the apartment building. He should ask Reiju first to be sure, but he'd better do that in person in case she needs a bit of convincing too before she's willing to talk.

"Where are you going?" Saga asks as Zoro tucks his swords into the side of his haramaki. When Zoro takes a step toward the door without a reply, he flings himself at the door, knocking over Robin and freeing his hands in the process.

"Zoro, don't go back there!" he pleads, blocking Zoro's way with outstretched hands. Zoro picks up the remaining sword on the floor and holds it out to the man.

"Draw your sword."

"Zoro..."

"If you really want to stop me, put your own life on the line for once instead of sacrificing others. Fight me."

Saga hesitantly draws his sword from the sheath in Zoro's hand. Zoro chucks the sheath aside before drawing his own swords and opening with a simple attack to test the man's resolve to take this fight seriously. He's relieved to see Saga bringing his sword up to block, but instead of the clunk of metal against metal, what he hears next is the sound of a blade sinking into flesh. Kitetsu sings in excitement as she marks the bone of Saga's forearm. Zoro pulls back as Saga's sword falls once more to the floor.

"There's no way I'd win against you in a sword fight." Saga hisses, wincing as he holds his bleeding arm. "If you really want to go, cut me down."

Zoro studies the man and sees no sign of backing down. He sheathes Kitetsu and holds up Wado to the side, closing his eyes to pray for the trusty sword's forgiveness for using it in such a deceitful move. He focuses his killing intent on the blade before opening his eyes again.

 _Ittoryu: Daishinkan_

Zoro stops the blade just as it touches the crown of Saga's head and watches as the man falls to his knees, shaking uncontrollably from head to toe. He steps forward to fish the car keys out of Saga's robe pocket. With one hand on the door knob, he turns to Robin.

"Take a look at his arm." he says as he pushes open the door, but one of Robin's extra hands takes the keys from him.

"Leave that to Ace. I'll drive. We'll get there faster that way."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **\- This is the longest chapter yet. Sorry. I tried to keep the ending short and sweet, but Saga kinda went crazy on me. I'm now mourning his more-than-a-decade long friendship with Zoro. I really am.**

 **\- I hope I'm not getting anyone's hopes up for having Luffy disappear for so long. :P There's nothing special about it. I just didn't want him stealing the spotlight since he's hard to keep in the background during difficult times.**


End file.
